Tonight I went with mom to see my nephew's spring concert. They did a little musical of sorts - spoken parts and some dancing and singing. Pretty cute for elementary kids.
My nephew was adorable (don't tell him I said that). He was so into the music and dancing away...not in a flashy way, just really having fun. He's such a cutie.
It's always fun to spend time with my family. I do love them, despite some of my perhaps venting posts earlier. This is birthday weekend. My BIL is tomorrow, Mom is Sunday and my SIL is Monday. I had talked once about us all getting together to celebrate - partially for the birthdays, partially because we haven't all been together since Christmas. But I don't think it's going to happen. My sis said she needs Sunday to get ready for her work week (she's a teacher) since she's going to spend the day with her hubby for his birthday tomorrow. I haven't heard from my brother and his wife, so it looks like it's just kind of going down the tubes.
The other day a co-worker and I were talking about family relationships. He made the comment that it's the parents job to care and look out for their kids, it shouldn't be the way around - at least until it has to be. In some ways I really agree with that.
But then these days come around, and mom's alone and it makes me wonder if that feeling should be true. I know she feels hurt that we won't be spending time with her (I think she and I are doing lunch and a movie), but then I think about all the times when my brother has asked her to watch his kids and she's had to check her dance schedule first or her work schedule (she is retired). I don't know how to find the balance.
I sit here watching Phenomenon and think about how short life is. How one or all of us could be gone at a moments notice. We know this in our family...we had to deal with that with Dad, but it didn't seem to really change our attitude about things. Or maybe it did for awhile but since that was 14 years ago we've become accustomed to this mess and this is all we know and remember.
I don't know. I feel guilty because we're not all getting together and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to guilt my siblings into anything because we get that enough with mom (that Norwegian Lutheran mom guilt - it's the best.) But I still feel like we should be doing something.
Am I expecting too much? Should I not make such a big deal about this? I mean, I don't celebrate my birthday, so is it too much to expect us to celebrate hers?
I don't know. I'm just confused right now. Maybe it's the timing of the night. I tend to get crazy after 10.
2 comments:
I'm always unsure what to expect with regards to family. I mean, I know what I *want*, but that doesn't mean that's what's going to happen or what the other party want as well.
I have only one brother and his family live about 20 minutes away. We've gotten together less than a half dozen times in one year. Our kids are pretty close in age too... It's his wife, not him. Then there's my in-laws whom I love very much and get along great, but they live in Malaysia and we see them about once every 2 years. They do not want to move here.
I've stopped asking. It just makes me sad.
Wishing you a nice weekend.
With my family there is an indirect correlation between distance and amount we see each other. (Except my Californian brother, though it still might be true). When I lived 80 miles away my parents visited me, and I them. Now that we live within 20, they never stop by and complain that I don't either.
Is there a way to make sure that either you or one of your siblings sees her every weekend? I think that that might help. Then the time commitment is spread out over the 3? of you. It's just a thought.
Good luck with all of that.
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