31 January 2009

I don't know why

But the BK commercial where the whopper jr is yelling at his dad is hysterical...at least the part where he yells out, "I wish I had never been broiled!" It just cracks me up.

But a lot of stupid, random things make me laugh. A lot have their own stories behind them, which I just can't explain because once I explain it's just not as funny.

There's the circus and the big top, ::boobs::, Hello Kitty, Bob (in more ways than one), and of course the random Friends quotes that pop into my head for no apparent reason.

Well, the first month of January finishes tonight. To celebrate, my sister and niece came up to visit. We went to a place called A Taste of the Big Apple and had their pizza. It was so good. I can't wait to go again. I think it's my new favorite. And they offer gluten-free crust, which is good when I get back on my no-flour health kick. :)

January has been a very cold, very interesting month. A lot of changes have happened in my life, and I know there are more to come. It's all about the want now. On to February!

30 January 2009

Finishing up change

The theme this month for NaBloPoMo was Change. Next month is Want.

It's interesting because these kind of go together, especially in my life right now. A couple months ago, after a postmortem with K&E about a trip I had had, they encouraged me to change my secluded lifestyle and try to venture out and meet more people.

This is probably a good thing because as I sit on my couch on this Saturday night and I think about my close friends, I realize that I have 2, maybe 3 if I can count my running partner, within an hour. After that, my friends are beyond an hour away, in MN, WI, MI, Texas, WA, CA, Ill, and Iowa.

I need to get out of my house more - though this will be a change because I really am an introvert and like my time alone. But that said, I don't want to be alone forever. I want to find someone to share my life.

But how do you do that? And if you do, how do you know which one is the one? Any ideas? I'm sending this out to the internet void because I know a lot of you have met your lifemate and I want to know how you did it and how you knew that despite some of their annoyances, that you wanted to be with them. help.

29 January 2009


Well, it's no Olympic high score but I apparently am a 6.7. :)

I was checking my stats on who and how many have read my blog lately and I found that someone had found my blog via this link.

And whoever the editor was rated me a 6.7. Sadly, I'm excited by this score. I really didn't know if it'd be that great to anyone! YAY!

28 January 2009

Birthday's galore

Today, six of my friends are celebrating their birthdays (and I forgot to email a few of them). So even though they don't read my blog Happy Birthday to Jay, Anthony, Mary, Tim, Jaymie and Barrett. I hope you all had a great and happy day.

And happy ACTUAL birth-day to KC and Mike's newest addition. Samuel was born today! YAY!

27 January 2009

A wise word from Rose

"Someone once told me the storyteller is an important part of the community," she told me, speaking softly. "The storyteller shares stories that give us courage. The storyteller shares stories that give us strength. The storyteller shares stories that give us hope. And most importantly the storyteller shares stories that give us joy."

From Jill's blog

Daily musings

9:40 am - Okay, I'm going to take a few more minutes. I'm not quite awake or motivated yet this morning. Not a good thing because I have a ton of work to do in the next two months. So I'm going to write for a bit about things on my mind and listen to Aqua to get motivated.

Yesterday driving home I had a few thoughts. One came while I was getting my hair cut yesterday and retriggered as I caught a glimpse of my new do in the mirror. I sat watching the gal comb it out and trim up the ends (taking off an inch in some places) thinking how odd my hair is. In the recent years I've developed curl in my very straight hair. The bad thing is it doesn't stay when I let it dry. Apparently I need a diffuser for my hairdryer. I'll have to look into that. But then as the gal was drying my hair and wrapping it around a brush I marveled at the color of my hair. It's not just one - it's several. Primarily my hair is auburn and brown, but there are a few streaks here and there which are a little more reddish or light brown. I love this about my hair. It can look like I color it without me having to do so. It gets lighter and redder during the summer when I'm out running, especially when I run during the day and my hair is in a make-shift bun. The sun "cooks" my hair in weird ways and I love how it looks.

I can't remember my other thoughts now. That's not good. I wrote them down but I left that in my other handbag. Whoops.

12:33 - I love working with Boss3. We're working on PowerPoint's right now for a set of 3 like, yet different, briefings. He scheduled time with me starting at 11 today, but we decided to start at 10:40 instead. We just finished. So much for his 30 minutes schedule. :) It's so much fun though.

4:30 - This afternoon was a bit more productive than this morning, though still not quite where I should be. I made the mistake last night of buying SF Red Vines. While I love these they do not sit well in my stomach. And it probably doesn't help that I took a bite of one and basically just swallowed without chewing. It's no wonder my stomach has been a mess all afternoon. I feel like crap. I want popcorn but I don't know that I dare have that either since I ate two bags of White Cheddar Old Dutch popcorn during my travels.

8:15 - At least I'm starting to feel a bit better. Eggs, toast and some dark chocolate - oh, and two cookies - make a girl feel good. The bad thing is that the toast and cookies are so not on my eating plan, but I need some solid food that is somewhat sturdy after the crap I've eaten the last two days.

I found my list of things I was thinking about during my drive home last night. The one about my hair I already wrote about. My other thought was on friendships. A lot of my friendships are with guys. I've just always gotten along better with men than women. Even when I was growing up I could talk to guys better than girls - my two best friends when I was little were Eric and Tom. We road dirt trails, climbed trees, built forts and ramps...we did had a great time. Then girls started hanging out with us and it wasn't the same. I've always been a bit of a tomboy, though I'm trying to be more of a girl these days - embracing the boobs (not literally, though that can be fun too).

Well, my guy friendships have continued even into my adulthood. This has been okay, until the guy gets in a relationship. You'll never know how thankful I was that K befriended me even though I was friends with E first. What's funny is I think K and I talk more now than E and I do, though he and I still get our time together alone too.

It worries me when I look at my friends - will I be able to continue my great relationships I have with my guy friends right now. Will I lose them if they get into relationships or if their current relationships start to get concerned? Is there even a reality that male-female friendships can exist?

Anyway...I'm just thinking too much these days. I should just sleep.

26 January 2009

Fun Monday

I almost spaced on Fun Monday - I'm sorry I'm so late.

The game from Grace this week is this:
Many people make resolutions during the month of January and they usually include diets/eating healthy/losing weight and all that good stuff. I myself decided to try the Weight Watchers this time round. My assignment is to tell us about a diet or two (Atkins, Sonoma, Weight Watchers, South Beach, the You on a Diet, Best Life, The Abs Diet, The Zone, Cabbage Soup, E-Diets, Dr Phil, Jenny Craig, The Mediterranean Diet, Nutrisystem, Slim-Fast, Suzzane Sommers or No Name diet etc etc) that you have tried and what you liked or did not like about it. You can tell us about one diet that you had so much success with, or another that was a torture to follow or both.

I have tried and utilize the South Beach eating plan. I don't like the word diet because it seems so short lived and it's kind of one of those "4-letter" words that are just evil.

South Beach has worked really well for me because of the limit of sugar and white flour. I'm a sweet tooth and I love bread. We grew on sandwiches and ice cream. One or both of these was part of a meal. South Beach has taught me to eat more often, more lean proteins and that whole wheat really is a good thing.

I've learned how to accommodate my eating plan to still allow breads or pasta, but in the right form - meaning whole wheat and not with enriched wheat flour. I look for a lot of whole grains and really read the ingredients list. I also eat a lot more veggies these days than I used to. I'm learning to love those again. I never used to eat veggies so this was new to me.

I still splurge on occasion with ice cream, but I try to keep it low-carb or low or no sugar. Sugar Free is one of my favorite things.

I have found that logging what I eat is most helpful. And my favorite quote from my friend Erik who helped me start on South Beach is, "No popcorn. Eat cheese!" I do eat popcorn though, just not as much as I usually do.

Great 25 hours, plus driving

What a speedy but fun trip! To start, I met my awesome friend Sean at the Mall of Death for a chai and conversation. I hate malls, so I have to be really in the mood to shop with a plan of attack, or I have to be focused completely on something else. The latter was the goal of this visit. Sean and I went to the 3rd floor Caribou and I faced the wall while he people watched. That was a true blessing. I'm not a fan of crowded places. If I have to go, I can make it work, but it takes a lot of alone downtime to recover. :) I'm a freak.

After the MoD, I was off to Major's for dinner with my friend Debbie. We had our Christmas because we hadn't seen each other since the marathon in October. It was fun. When she mentioned that I realized I hadn't seen Sean since then either - and his greeting that day was a wave and a cheer. Debbie is my schlepper for the marathon. I give her my bag of clothes, food, etc. that I need at the end of the race and then she meets me at certain points on the way. She has been my best supporter for my races. I think she's even planning to come to my marathon in May when I run. Plus it's nice to know that there's someone waiting for me at the end - especially when one of her stops along the route is mile 19 which is where I just want to quit every time. But she kicks me in the butt and I can keep going.

The Guthrie show was "A Delicate Balance". It was an interesting show about the dynamics and rights of different relationships - friends, in-laws, children, siblings. The play was fast paced - or at least fast talked and in some places I kept trying to imagine if it were real if that's how people would sound. And a lot of the times when Claire was speaking it just didn't seem real. Her character background was real, but the way she talked didn't seem right. But maybe it was and I just didn't see her in the right light. But overall, a good show. It wasn't a favorite or one I'd like to see again. I'd love to see "Third" again or "Merchant of Venice" or "A Midsummer Night's Dream" all from last season again.

Today was really low-key, I didn't have any plans this morning so I slept in, then listened to my friend Ian on his radio show. I once again drug myself to a mall, but only to get my hair trimmed (it was getting a little shaggy). This was good because I finally found the right cut for my head. It's the perfect length now. Of course that just means I have to go back more often then once a quarter.

Then lunch with Sarah, Eric and Eli. That was nice to just sit and hang out with them for a few hours. I drove home listening to Aqua because I've gotten hooked on them in recent weeks. A cartoon I read, AFBlues.com, has had a story line centering around "Barbie Girl" and I stupidly bought the disc and have been hooked since. Nothing like a little Danish-Norwegian techno to make the day go 'round. :)

That's my weekend - or 25 hours of it. Next time I need to stay longer.

25 January 2009

Off to see the wizard!

Well, maybe not the wizard, but Sean, Debbie, Sarah, Eric and the fabulous cast at the Guthrie. I can't wait! I'll write all about it when I return.

YAY! I'm getting out of here, even if only for a day. *sigh*

24 January 2009

Taking a break

I'm going to bed early tonight. I need to go to church tomorrow and to the cities. I'm very excited to get out of this town for awhile.

And now...to do some laundry, I think. More to come!

23 January 2009

Better but still not great

I slept hard last night, which was much needed but I did not want to get up this morning. It was just too early and I needed more sleep. So I was late to work again but I had oatmeal to at least get something in my belly so I could work.

Jenni came by at 8 to work with me on my file plan. By 10:30 we had worked out a lot of the kinks but I have a shitload of work left to do. I'm missing a lot of subfolders and I need to move everything in to the proper place. What sucks is there's a regulated way file plans are supposed to work which is just not how I function. I'm an alphabetizer and everything in it's place. But this just does not work that way. I'm going to see if I can make it work that way though...somehow.

So that was my day. Lots of filing. I did have a nice moment of banter with Boss1 about an Obama t-shirt. And I had another nice night chatting with a friend. Now I just need to sleep so I can make it through another day.

22 January 2009

Killing me softly with facebook

Facebook is going to be the death of me for certain. Not that I mind catching up with friends but I end up staying up way too late at night. I'm usually a 9:30, maybe 10 pm bedtime gal; but the last couple nights between phone calls with the older older brother or chatting with my friends, I haven't been to bed before 11:30. This is not helping at work because I really need my sleep to function. And if I don't get sleep it's hard to wake up in the morning completely. If I don't get started right away in the morning, you know at 6:45 when I'm supposed to be up and at 'em at work, I'm screwed until at least noon. And then half my day is shot. It also doesn't help that the energy level is greatly diminished when Boss1 is out, and to add to the struggle Boss2 and Boss3 are out today as well. There is no work energy flowing in my little corner of the building.

The afternoon got a little better. I found a bunch of promotion letters I needed to type up for him to sign. They're basically form letters but I have to do each one individually for their address. It's kind of a pain but whatever. And then I ripped Paste's Sampler Issue 50 so that was good to listen to while I went through my files. Oh I have a lot of crap. I'd toss it all but I don't know what I'm really allowed to toss and what I have to keep. That's the trick because there are rules where I work. So I end up keeping it all and it's just a mess of paper. Tomorrow I'm meeting with one of our file plan experts, or pseudo experts, who's going to help me get things in order. I have to gear up tomorrow morning because it's going to be grueling, I know. It's not just my files I have to keep, it's also Boss1, 2 and 3's. And of course, everything has to be annotated, whether it's electronic or hard copy. Joy. Don't you wish you were going to be me tomorrow? At least I get to have lunch with my friend RA. Thank God for that. I'm going to need a reprieve mid-day.

Here's the bad thing...when I wrote this it was 5:18 and SG had canceled due to some really bad news she got today. "I should still run, especially so I don't waste this beautiful day. But I'm so tired and not really into anything right now that I don't want to run. But if I don't run I won't get any running in until Monday at the earliest. And I'm only at 10 for the week. If I ran the route tonight I'd get up to 15 or maybe 2.5 though I'll probably do a different route so I'll have to map it out. But if I do our usual route that's a lot of back and forth by myself. I need to go out. It's not going to be this nice for awhile again. I just really don't like running alone at night when it's dark out, and running downtown alone is okay, I did it the other night, but I'm just constantly on edge so I don't get the best workout in."

Spring cannot come fast enough.

21 January 2009

ups and downs

Other than my great run today and yesterday, the last couple days have been rough. More to come later.

19 January 2009

Fun Monday!

Another Chance Ranch is hosting Fun Monday this week and is taking us back to the beginning with a little turn around. So everyone is supposed to take a picture of the interior of their home from the doorway.

Well I have several doorways since I live in an apartment so here we go!

This is from my door. Obviously I need to clean. :) To the left is the kitchen, straight ahead is my living room, to the right (the door you see) is the bedroom and the bathroom is next to it.

The kitchen where I make my delicious cookies and such. The door you see on the left is a pantry.

This is my living room. I'm deliberately hiding the far left corner which is a total mess right now. My table is there but so are boxes and piles of papers I need to go through. I guess if you look closely you can see a brief glimpse of those in the corner. Do you like the red exercise ball? Yeah, I don't use it very much, but it's a nice stool to sit on or a foot stool when I'm tired. :) The rug is one of my favorite purchases. I got that in Turkey when I was there for a work trip. It was a pain in the butt to package and mail, but I love love love it.

Bathroom. I should have taken a better picture because I actually like my bathroom, but it's just not photo worthy today. And in hindsight I should have closed the toilet lid - sorry about that. :)

This is my bedroom. It's hard to get a decent picture from the corner. If you went to the right there'd be yet another door leading to my slightly walk-in closet. Oh, and the cord under my bed is for my electric blanket. And sorry for the bad laundry shot. I totally spaced that was there. *blushing*

So that's my place. Go check out the other players in Fun Monday! Links are all here.

18 January 2009

Thanks and a sister story

Thank you, all of you, my fabulous friends, who backed me up yesterday with my post about FB. I really feel better about the situation and how I dealt with it. I appreciate you letting me vent and get it out. Thank you all.

Yesterday I had a great lunch with my "sisters" Allison and Tre. Tre and I went to college together; in fact, we became friends the first day of college and have been ever since. Their parents "adopted" me a long time ago and I have truly felt like a member of their family. In fact, Connie was the one who taught me how to make lefse!

I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard though. We went to Olive Garden, which is our tradition. Allison and Tre like the pasta and calamari. I just like the soup and salad and breadsticks (I only had one).

But when the three of us get together we have a ball. We even have a whole new inside joke involving Big Tops and the Circus and sex. I don't know that you really want to know the details but it is really funny. Our waiter even, unknowingly and unwittingly, stepped into the joke.

I'm so thankful for these friends, and for all my others I don't get to see often enough. I love you all. *hugs*

17 January 2009

Yet another FB problem

So last night I'm randomly surfing facebook because that seems to be what I do anymore. K&E - are you really sure this was a good idea for me? Seriously?

Anyway, an old friend IM'd me and asked if I was feeling better and something about how earlier in the week i felt like fb was waxing my feelings and something about exs stalking me. I don't recall this conversation at all. I've been sick the last week anyway and on some nice antibiotics, and during that time I have had a lot of "catch-up" conversations with friends...some all at the same time - damn chat.

I told him this last night and said that I don't remember all my conversations, that fb tends to be a way for me to unwind at the end of the day because my work days are really intense - especially lately as we're gearing up for an inspection. I lamented that I used to read a lot at night which seemed to stimulate my brain more but since I've gotten on facebook I haven't read a book at all.

Well, he got pissed because he doesn't think I care anymore. He wrote me an email this morning, parts of which said: "The fact that you do not remember conversation you should not have them." and "I will not be bother your mental relaxation, detox time or whatever it is that you called it, you are right you should start reading again that way it does not involve other people."

WTF? Because I don't remember one conversation I'm suddenly shit and shouldn't interact with people? I'm sorry...do other people remember every single freaking conversation they have with people?

I really have enjoyed facebook, but it's more my frustration with me and not being able to control my new addiction to it, because every night this week I have logged on to see what's going on and what people have been up to. I don't want to be that way. I like to keep in touch with people, but this almost feels like keeping tabs on people. And there are a lot of people I care about and want to keep up with, but I can't remember every stinking word that is passed between us. And if this is going to be the reaction then maybe it's time I just stop.

16 January 2009

FB problem

I think facebook is stealing all my words. It's definitely stealing all my thoughts. A friend IM'd me tonight on FB and started asking about how I was feeling and a bunch of other random, crazy comments and I could not figure out what he was talking about. He said we had talked about it the other night. I could not remember a bit of it.

So I think I need to limit my FB to only a few nights a week. I need this blog for my outlet and I'm not getting that by sitting on FB and planting flowers for the Lil'Garden or whatever, or "poking" Scott, or whatever. It's just too much.

Not that my life is exciting...really there isn't much to write about. Although my 10-yr-old nephew told me tonight that he's worried about my love life because he wants more cousins and he wants me to be happier than I am right now.

That was super sweet. I was excited to chat with him tonight. He apparently forced his mom online saying, "Chat with her! Chat with her!" because he wanted to chat with me. Very fun.

I really love my nieces and nephews. It's so fun to be able to connect and talk with them. I'm very blessed.

Now I just need to get down to the 10-yr-old's place so I can play some Wii again. :)

15 January 2009

Good day

This afternoon was a great afternoon. Boss3 came in and we worked on a couple presentations together.

Amazingly, it was so much fun. I hate powerpoint but we had a great time working together and were able to fix and then create two great looking presentations. Of course they need a little help yet, but they are so close.

I like days like this. Despite the fact that I didn't get anything on my list done this afternoon that I wanted to, Boss3 and I really worked well together and the afternoon flew by.

It's days like today when I'm really glad I made the decision two years ago to leave my other job and take this one. This really has been a great move in my life.

CC blues

I'm so obsessed and worried about my credit card (and how much have I spent, OMG!) that I check my account two or three or four times a day. This is despite the fact that I know it's only updated at night, not during the day. Nope, I still check it. Pathetic, really.

That seems more like a facebook post. God help me, I'm turning into an FB addict. Is there a group I can join?

14 January 2009

Mail anyone?

Remember when I had all those free samples that I listed and posted a picture of? Yeah, well, my reasoning behind ordering those was so I'd get mail. I like getting mail - it's fun! And free samples are much better than me ordering useless dreck that ends up stuck in storage somewhere (which I've also done).

The last few months I have been the supply gal for my section, which means to order anything they have to go through me to do it. Then I get the packages, check off that we received the proper items and then I get to play Santa and deliver to the sections. This has been kind of good and bad. It's good in that I get to make people happy with fun things like Post Its (my favorite) or Ice Scrapers or staplers. And I get my need for packages out of my system, sort of. The bad thing is that I have to give everything away and still do all the paperwork required for them.

I miss getting packages in the mail, but one of my vows this year was that I would not order random things. My finance guy really wants me to buy a house this spring and I'm not going to be able to do that buying extra t-shirts for running or books that I don't have time to read (ironic I type this as my higher HQ boss just sent his reading list for the quarter).

But I still miss mail. Anyone want a pen pal?

13 January 2009

I'm sorry in advance

I've had this song in my head all day thanks to AFBlues today, so now I'm going to share with you.


And this was the rest...

Like I said in the previous post, I decided to just blog all day, so here are my other rambling thoughts:

This is one of those days where, though I only have two more hours to go, I wish I had the chutzpah enough to just leave. I have no energy, no motivation, I've already blown my new eating plan - twice, and I feel like I'm just wasting the day. It's not that I don't have things to do, because I do, I'm just not in the mood to do them. It's blowing and snowing outside. The wind is wicked cold. My office is 69 degrees and I'm shivering. So I had hot cocoa because I couldn't find the tea until I was almost halfway through my mug. Great. I should have had the tea, so that's bad. I need something to motivated me. Or I just need to get off my ass and do something.

Maybe I need a happy light. It's not that I'm truly with SAD but it might help. These dreary days when I can't run outside are slowly killing me. I could and probably should go to the dreadmill but that requires me to go outside and at this point I can't bring myself to do that again unless I'm leaving for the day, and we've already established I can't do that.

I'm guessing that my brilliant plan of working yesterday to get caught up on a couple projects was my downfall. I really should have taken and utilized the entire day off. Maybe I should clean. That might help.

I think I'm going to change my title to Asst. Boss1 instead of just Asst to the Boss1. That seems to make more sense in what I really do. HA! I'm sure that'll last all of five minutes, but maybe I'll try that tomorrow in the weekly meeting we have.

I screwed up on my eating plan. Did I talk about that yet? Oh yeah, I did. Not a good thing.

Okay it's time to go home not and decide what part of this I should post and what I shouldn't.

Dating ramble

Okay, I usually censor and edit this stuff a lot more but the following was my basic writing exercise of just write/type while you can and while you're thinking, yet don't think. I debated on posting but I thought, why the hell not? So here you go:

Today I decided I'd blog throughout the day and post tonight. I haven't been as conversational lately as I was all last year. It's not that I don't have anything to talk about, I'm just trying to weigh the pros and cons of discussing what I want to talk about and what I should talk about.

So I thought while I'm at work I'll jot a few things down as they come to my head. I don't want to take up too much of my day, but I'm not that motivated today anyway. Bosses1-3 are out this morning and it's cold in my office so all I really want to do is just curl up on my chair, or maybe Boss1's leather couch, and take a nap.

One of the things on my mind is dating. I love the double standard that is in place in society. Men want/expect women to tell them what they want; no subtle hints allowed because men can't read our minds, apparently. Yet, a woman is just supposed to "figure out" that a man isn't into her because he doesn't call, even if they've been on a few dates that went really well. We, as women, are supposed to be mind readers and understand and comprehend the subtle clues men give off, but heaven forbid they put forth any effort to figure out what we really want. I mean, is it really so damn hard to pick up a phone and say that they don't think things are working out? I would much rather have that then the mind games of trying to figure out why he isn't calling or what I did wrong. This is why I hate dating. I haven't read the book but I'm curious about the movie "He's just not that into you." Is it supposed to empower women? Maybe it's a self-help guide? Or maybe it's just another example of the fools we women make of ourselves over the other gender.

Okay, so I read some excerpts from the book and yeah, I can get that men are stupid, or maybe simple is the word, and if they don't call they don't like you. But then I kind of wonder what the point of online dating is. Are women just supposed to put their picture up and hope that some decent guy will email them? We're not supposed to look for Mr. Right? I kind of lean on Lisa Kudrow's character in P.S. I Love You where she asks these guys she meets basic questions, "Are you single? Are you gay? Are you working?" And she says it's because she deserves the best. She deserves to have the best man for her.

Maybe I need to take the buffet line of dating, as my sister calls it, and take Lisa Kudrow's approach. Maybe I DO need to go out to the bars and see who I can find. Maybe I need to do that, because I do deserve the best.

The problem is, I want a guy to pursue me. So I shouldn't be so crazy upset about the dating double standard I talked about above. I should be able to follow those tactics that if he doesn't call he doesn't like me because the guy is supposed to pursue. My difficulty with that is that I want to know WHY he doesn't like me. What did I do wrong? Am I too fat? Not fat enough? Too short of hair? Too long? Too talkative? Not talkative enough (just wait till he gets to know me)? Too blah? Too much? Or what? Why aren't I good enough for him? What is it about me that makes me second rate?

I'm sure part of it is that I'm very inexperienced when it comes to dating. I don't like doing it. I've never been good at it and because of that I tend to fall hard too quickly. But I suppose I need to get over myself with that too. So again, the buffet style of dating may be the best option.

Of course, going back to the deserving the best part, how do I know what the best is? I've never quite understood the folks who say, "I saw her/him and I just knew." How? HOW did you know? What was the trigger? I'm sure it's different for everyone, but there must be something there. My Dad said that when he saw my mom he just knew. And they were married 6 months later. I always wondered if Mom felt the same way, or if she just went with it because in the 60's that's what you did. Then there's the inevitable question of what if I did meet The Guy and I brushed him off because he didn't seem my type or he pronounced it "supposably". What if I lost my chance with him? Is there another one out there? Or do I settle for whomever pursues me because that's what I'm supposed to do?

12 January 2009

Blizzard warning

Well, actually we were in a blizzard watch today, I'm not sure where we are now. I just know it's cold again and it sucks.

Facebook has been a good thing for me, other than I spend a lot of time online lately. I have reconnected with Tracy, Biz, Karla, Kevin, Jeffrey, and met some new folks too. It's been really nice to catch up with folks from my past.

It makes me wonder about my life, how many people I have known briefly and left behind. There were many who had an impact on me who I have no idea where they are now. There are others I can barely remember but some of them friended me on Facebook. I hardly remember them but for some reason I made an impression on them.

It's interesting how life rolls.

11 January 2009

Mentor - the freshmaker

This was an interesting work weekend. One of my younger colleagues in another section (I'm an honorary member - and I have proof: my picture is on their wall) asked if I'd be her mentor so she'd have another perspective than just Matt. Sure. I can do that.

So we sat down at lunch on Saturday and I asked her what she would like from our mentor/mentee relationship. Adam was sitting with us and he said, "I think you need to help her with her love life." Uh, okay.

Yeah, this is a great idea. Let me help the 20-yr-old with her love life when I have enough trouble with my own. Whatever. But we talked out her situation and worked it out for her.

Then I went to a meeting/training where we were talking about a process for my position that actually doesn't affect me at all because of where my position falls on the food chain. So JD whispers, "Log in so we can email." Okay. I have things to clean up in my email account anyway.

Well, she goes into her trauma of her dating life with handsome RW. I wanted to laugh because this was just insane. But we talked and I think she felt better when we left class, but who knows what will really happen with that one.

I just find it ironic because I'm having such a time with my love life that to have these young girls asking me what to do seems to be a contradiction of things. I mean, hello! I was home on a Saturday night! Alone! And in bed by 10! Alone!

Oh well. Maybe that's just how my life is supposed to be. Help the others get the men. I used to wonder about that when I was younger when my guy friends would say to me, "You know, if we had met first before I started dating [insert name], you and i would be dating." Okay, so I'm a good second option, but not the first.

I want to be first! I deserve that. I'm awesome! ... I think.

Okay, I'm getting depressed again. I think I'm going to go to bed and relish in the Steelers win and get some sleep because I want to go into work for a few hours tomorrow during our "blizzard".

10 January 2009

Change is in the air...maybe

My awesome friend Baritonality posted tonight about a situation in his life. I'll let you read it here first. Seriously, read this, then come back because this won't make sense otherwise.

Okay, welcome back.

So is it true? Do you think you have to give up something to be happy? I'm torn because in some ways I do think that it may be true, but in other ways I think that it's not.

My comment is there where I talked about moving from the cities and what I "gave up" to come here. But truthfully, what I gave up I haven't lost, it's just changed. My connection with the Cities isn't that I live there, it's that it's a part of me that I can't shake and for me to become rejuvenated to my true self I have to go back there.

So maybe it's not that we're giving things up, it's that we're changing it's form. We're recreating our situation and our lives so that we can be our truer, more full and complete selves.

I think about this with my life. I'm trying to recreate myself - become a more full and complete person. And there have been moments lately that I have felt very disillusioned on my path.

There have been fabulous moments where I have felt full and complete - brief moments that have come and gone and I miss them. I'm not sure how to get them back. Part of those moments involved other people and when I'm not able to connect with them as I did during those moments I start to feel less of a person.

I don't like that feeling. It's hard to overcome that, but I have to look beyond that moment and to the overall picture. My life has been enhanced with these various situations and even if they were fleeting, they are still part of what makes me who I am.

I'm rambling here again. I think I'm in a transition period in my life. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. But I was the one who initiated it so I can't really complain. And yet, I'm not sure that was the smartest move on my part. But I suppose if I don't start now I never will.

Oh, I know this is cryptic but not many people read this blog anyway so it's really just for me and I know what I'm talking about. Maybe though, if you ask nicely, I'll explain a little better sometime. :)

09 January 2009


I'm still feeling not great, but I'm a lot better than I was yesterday. My swallowing is still rough, and my appetite isn't the greatest, but I am feeling better. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be well enough to run.

But all that means nothing. Today I had the best morning. I actually finished Boss1's presentation for tomorrow morning by 9 am! I was so excited! I don't think I've ever been able to make it all work and function that early in the week. It's so great. And thankfully, Boss1 didn't want to make any changes.

Things kind of came together for me today. A couple forms that fell apart suddenly came together, my schedule for the weekend is really open, my subordinate called to ask to not come in this weekend which actually works better for me than if he were to come, my paperwork projects are flowing well and should be finished tomorrow, and the weekend should be great.

I'm really excited for this. Now if I could just get healthy I would be ecstatic.

08 January 2009


I shocked myself and actually went to the doctor today. That's something I don't normally do. If I'm feeling icky or whatever I usually just ride it out, because I just don't want to mess with the doctor and the process.

Well, I figured, it's a new year and I should maybe try something new and try to get healthier by going to the doctor when I'm not feeling well. I just don't want to become a hypochondriac like one of my aunts was.

The doc was great, this was a new guy for me. He expedited everything, checking for strep and mono, which whatever this is is neither apparently, and hooked me up with some drugs.

7 long days of being on amoxicillin or however you spell that. Joy. But maybe that's okay too. I'm going to go to bed early tonight and try to sleep off some of this.

Oh and Boss3 was funny tonight. He was working out at the gym we have at work after our shift ended and I stayed late to accomplish some things since I was at the doctor for 2 hours today. Well, he saw my light was still on at 6:45 so he emailed me from his crackberry: GO HOME. I laughed and emailed back, "I'm not here. You're delusional." I'm sure I'll hear about that tomorrow. :)

I have to say, I'm really glad he's in my section now. He makes the workday so much more fun. Yay for Boss3!

07 January 2009

Help make a miracle

For more information you can read Andrea's post today, or check out Jen's blog and her hope for a miracle.

06 January 2009

Thank God!

All I can say is I am SOOOOO happy that I got to go back to work today. *sigh*

I think I was almost too excited though because I could not fall asleep last night to save my life. I finally realized I really really had to pee so I took care of that and that helped. Of course I also had to turn down my electric blanket because I was sweating!

The only bad thing about today is the list of thing that has begun of things I need to do. It's long and it's dangerous.

I'm kind of glad that I'm not running tomorrow night because that means I can work late! YAY! This is the best because then I can really get things accomplished. It's so hard to do when the phone is constantly ringing or people are stopping in. I just need quiet time to get some of my projects started, if not finished.

So that's my day tomorrow. I really need to get my life organized and prioritized. The next few months are going to be intense but it's so nice to be back on track.

Yes, I'm a geek. I'm happy to have a schedule.

05 January 2009

It's Epiphany!

Well, almost. Truly today is the final day of Christmas. And thank goodness for that because I am totally ready for work again.

Don't get me wrong, I love vacations and having time off, but I like when those vacations have plans attached...maybe not down to the minute detailed out, but at least some general plans where I know that I'll be doing things. This second vacation was pretty lame. Everything I was going to do kept getting canceled or postponed. Finally last night I got to see Eric and Sarah and today I got to run. And I did get to watch a movie on Thursday night with a friend which was good too.

But now, I can finally get on a schedule. The next three months will be intense as I prep for an inspection at work. And I started my other training which I will not speak of here. And I'm back on SB which I also will not speak of here.

Things are coming together, which makes me glad. I'm excited for the changes on the horizon and how may life will transform.

04 January 2009


A big shout out to Sarah who was approved today! YAY!!!!

Today was a good day. I made it to church for once. I was chuckling on my way to it this morning as I realized the last time I had gone (to this particular church) was for Advent1 and now I'm going for the final Christmas day...hitting the front and end of a good season of church. Somehow I missed most of the middle. Weird.

Then, in honor of my South Beach beginnings tomorrow, I made cookies! Truth be told, I was hoping Eric would eat them when he came to visit with Eli, but alas, he had had a big lunch so only had one. Now, I will probably have to box up the yummy ones and send to either Debbie or Keith since I can't eat them. The chocolate chip ones will go to work.

As I said, Eric and Sarah came to visit and tonight we hung out with some of their friends, eating pizza (another final moment before SB) and watching Independence Day. Good times, good times.

Now I need to sleep because they were super awesome and gave me IronMan for Christmas and I so want to watch it right now but I don't want to mess up my sleep schedule anymore than I already have by being up this late. :) So tomorrow AM during laundry I'll be enjoying a little RD,Jr. YAY!

03 January 2009

Totally spaced

I can't believe I forgot about this. Last year I signed up for Blog365, meaning I'd blog every day for the entire year.

And I did...I'm sure y'all remember because I got rather wordy a few times.

Anyway, here's my reward!

Not the best start

So today was a total bust.

I've been sore the last couple days, I mean like achy sore. My ribs even hurt and I have no idea why. It's not like I'm working out that hard. sheesh.

But today was an icky day. I woke up to freezing drizzle and my running partner asked to bail since she and her dog slipped on the driveway. I should have still gone but I didn't.

Whoops! I'm not supposed to write about that here. Anyway, so when that decision was made I took a shower and then a nap. My eyes were really dry so I thought if I shut them for awhile they could remoisturize. :D

I haven't done anything today and feel kind of like a loser for that. I did just clean up my kitchen a bit and flattened some boxes that I'll take down to recycling tomorrow when I leave for church. But I just don't really care about anything right now. Blah is my name.

Tomorrow will be better. I have a definite schedule of things happening: Church thing at my niece and nephew's; hanging with Eric and Eli while Sarah gets interrogated; and then pizza with the gang to follow (and this will be my last so-called "real" meal since I'm starting SB on Monday). This will help - something concrete for me to do.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll come up with a better goal plan for the year. I suppose it's time to put the words on paper since it's the 4th tomorrow. :)

02 January 2009

Change pictures

Sadly, I can't remember where I found all of these as I had saved them over the years. But please enjoy.

01 January 2009


The theme for this month's NaBloPoMo is "change". Fitting, of course, for January and a new year.

This year I expect my life will change a lot. I'm starting back on SB next week and hope to lose and keep off 20 pounds. I know this seems a lofty goal, but that's 1 pound a week for 5 months. That's totally doable. The trick will be keeping it off.

But my other part is running again. I started another blog to track my progress and training, so I don't have to do it here and annoy everyone. :) This blog here will be primarily about the rest of my life.

And the rest of my life will be great. I'm going to continue on my quest for happiness, which usually starts with choosing to be happy. My finance guy thinks I should buy a house this spring, and if I do I know my life will change dramatically. I'm also trying to talk my friend into letting me take his dog running with me. If that happens, I know my running will improve a lot and be beneficial for me with my training and races.

My job will change - we have an inspection coming up in a few months and the next few will be stressful as I prepare for it. I have a lot to do and so I need to be motivated. I know with my running I'll be able to focus better on the rest of my life because "exercise give you endorphins; endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands."

But the fact is, life is constantly changing. We live in a world of recreation - not recreation just as in fun but RE-creation. We recreate our lives every day. It starts when we wake up and begin to make decisions on what we're going to do. Not one is alike and it's incredible how everything flows together.

I have many pictures that have inspired me in one way or another from the Internet as my screensaver. Right before I logged on, one came on that said, "It'll be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." I love that. It may need to become my new motto.