28 February 2005

Dating Game

Justin's been bugging me to write about my latest escapades in the dating world. Ugh! First, let me say, I hate dating. The whole mess of trying to meet someone and then the expectations that surround it...like from my family, if you're dating it must be imminent that you'll be getting married soon...to that person, nonetheless. blech! I hate that thought process. Yet, alas, I still try to partake in this ritualistic structure society has placed upon us singletons. There's that stigma that if you're alone there's either something wrong with you or you're not trying hard enough. Or something. And finding a decent man, especially in this town, is so hard because they're either great! but gay, or they're okay and straight, but have some major flaw - like being married or dating someone else.

Because of where I work, I have been looking elsewhere to find romance. But shockingly enough, that seems to have led me back to a place similar to my workplace. Let me 'splain... I am on eharmony; I am on match. Eharmony recently matched me up with a pastor from an area town. Now, it's not that I'm not into faith, the church or Christianity, but looking ahead to the future and being a pastor's wife or girlfriend isn't really what I have in my head for me. I don't know that I would fit that billing all that well. I mean, come on! I'm a military girl! I have moments where I swear like a sailor, have thoughts like a marine and the timing of a soldier (with all the suave and charisma of an airman)! :) So anyway, this guy I got matched up with, it turns out he knows, not only my boss, which is weird enough in itself, but also one of the profs here I babysit for on a frequent basis. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. And his picture looks eerily familiar... It just seems more and more that the Lutheran world is incredibly incestuous...not in the brother marrying sister kind of way, but in that everyone knows everyone or at least knows someone who knows everyone.

Match hasn't been all that great lately either. I seem to get some weird guys 'winking' or emailing me - I mean some really strange ones. And the ones that seem good who email or wink initially suddenly disappear without a trace. It's kind of a big blow to the self-esteem when you can't quite understand what you're doing wrong and why these guys initially think you may be okay but then turn out to ignore you or become complete a-holes.

Anyway...so there's part of my story. Not too exciting but there you go. :)

22 February 2005


So I emailed this link to some of my friends...woohoo I have a blog...and I got one comment back that was funny, yet made me think a bit. So yeah he said only geeks and pedophiles have blogs because they have no one to talk to. Interesting comment since I'm not a pedophile, but a geek, yeah, maybe I am. I know I was one in high school, I don't know that the geekness ever really leaves a person, does it?

So yeah, I like the idea of writing things down to talk about. I do better with typed words than spoken, maybe it's my fear of saying the wrong thing...part of why I didn't go with that whole MDiv track - I don't want to be the one who leads people astray. hell I have enough of my own problems than to help others screw their lives up. But if all this makes me out to be something of a lesser person, I don't know anymore.

Wow - all that and it's only been 2 days....hmmmm strange.

Knitting Knots

I'm working on a baby blanket for a friend's daughter who's due to pop March 30. Joan wanted the blanket to have 2 colors - red and white - and I being a novice when it comes to knitting was a little worried to work in two colors. BUT luckily in my Extra Easy patterns book from 1977 I found a pretty cool pattern to use. It had been going pretty well until last night. Maybe it was the pressure of a deadline (Friday!) or maybe I just wasn't concentrating like I should have been, but it got all jacked up. So me being the brilliant one, I decided to pull out the red that was screwed up and start over, only I didn't realize I'd have to put all the loops back on the needle! Silly girl. SO that was a test in itself and I still am one stitch short. Oh well. It's a challenge which is fun, and I have 2 nights left to finish it up. YAY!

21 February 2005


Everyone, it seems, is concerned for my future. Granted I do have my master's (finally!) but it's not something I'll probably ever use, at least it doesn't seem that way. I mean, really, what do you do with a MA in Old Testament? I can barely read Hebrew anymore, though I could probably pick it up again if I needed to. I still love reading the books, don't get me wrong, but to take it beyond that...I don't know.

One of my former profs asked me today to meet with him sometime soon for 45 minutes to talk about things: my strengths, future, passions, etc. He said he doesn't know if God and I have worked out a plan for my future yet. Of course, my reply was that God and I haven't talked about that lately. :) So we're going to meet and try to work out some things. Rollie, the prof, said he sees things in me - leadership and has some thoughts about where I could work in the church - so I guess we'll have to meet and see.

But here's my question: How do you really know what your passion is? How do you discover it? I'm involved in so much and i like what I do, but do I have a passion for it? I don't know. What if what you think is your passion, turns out to be something completely wrong?

Blogger Virgin

HELLO! So, here I am, hesitantly venturing out into the world of blogging. I'm nervous because I really don't want to be dooced and I fear with my ranting and raving methods, I may become just that. But I'm going to do my very best not to fall into that trap and instead focus on something else. What that something else may be will be a true surprise each day, I'm sure, for my mind tends to wander through some subjects while getting stuck and trapped in others. We'll see. For now, I just want to say hello and we'll see how this goes! (Thanks go out to Justin, who got me thinking about this.)