30 April 2009

Diversity Champions

I'm going through a training right now called Diversity Champions. This isn't a training just on how better work with my racially different brothers and sisters. This isn't just about how to be aware and understand other cultures. This has been a journey of getting to know me and build a team to understand that people DO come from different backgrounds and have different belief systems that can, will and does enhance the organization.

It's interesting and enlightening. Day one was emotionally draining. I was a mess. I don't like looking at the inner me because I think the inner me isn't where I want me to be yet. The day went through looking at what our goals are as individuals and how we need to better ourselves to be better for the team.

So last night we were supposed to set up our personal and professional goals. I opted for cribbage instead. I needed to decompress from the Lifeboat game and get out of my head for awhile. That probably wasn't the best choice in ways of the class, but it was the best thing for me...which helped me in the end.

I set up some goals with my coaches today (we're coaches for each other). Other than decluttering my office I couldn't come up with professional goals. I talked about this with MS Sunday a bit and he seemed to think I have some goals already set. I have some ideas, but I'm just not sure if they'll work or not. I need to look at those a bit more.

Personally, I had the standard lose 20lbs, get in shape, blah blah blah... but I took a page from one of my coaches and after this weekend I'm going to recommit myself to my running goals. I'm going to train fully. I'm not going to half ass it. I need to push forward. Part of that will be starting P90X with MS, running with Jeanne, and following a training plan.

The other part of my life I need to fix is to declutter my home. I know I've talked about this before, but this will be another recommittal. I realized part of my breakdown yesterday was because I feel so out of control with everything. And I know I have control, but I'm not grasping it like I should be, or can be. And when I come home and find papers everywhere, or a messy kitchen, or books and DVDs and everything everywhere, the chaos doesn't go away.

I have a lot of work ahead of me. I also put down I need to get a therapist. I've said this before too, but during the Lifeboat game I really realized I need to work out those issues I still have.

This is going to be a rough but productive year. :)

29 April 2009

Needing to decompress

I so need to journal tonight, but I just can't right now. My head is full, my eyes are burning, and I need sleep. Tomorrow more will come.

On a good side - I love challenges of Cribbage. Granted I'm down 2 games to 6, but I love playing. The trophy will be mine. Someday. :)

28 April 2009

Post It heaven

Today was kind of sucking, because I wasn't getting everything done that I wanted to at work. Of course, on another level things were going really well. Elvis has left the building and MS is great. :)

But this afternoon I went to get the mail and I had a note that I there was a package too big for the box, so to speak. LH brought out a priority mail box for me. I was a little confused, even when I saw the return address. It took me a second to realize it was from my college friend Jamie.

See, Jamie works for 3M and he sent me - drumroll - POST ITS! An entire Priority Mail box full of varying sizes, colors, shapes of Post Its! There were mini post its, big post its, photo post its, colored post its, yellow post its, even "while you were out" post its.

I'm really stoked about this. I love Post Its and Jamie has helped me for at least a week. :)

27 April 2009

"Blue Moon"

My Goddaughter.

Bust but good

Today was a bust of a day in some aspects. I got up late, spent most of the day hanging with SBK moving cars for our bosses and keeping them in line, and trying to catch up on work.

Finally I headed up to see my nephew's soccer game. I have to make as many games as I can because most of the time I can't, if that makes sense. The game was okay. Jake wasn't really into it. But his sister was a riot.

Picture a 2 1/2 year old, precocious red head, in a puffy purple coat, holding a small grey water bottle, stomping around the fold out chair saying, "Goin' on a mommy hunt. Goin' on a mommy hunt. Where could her be? Where could her be?" over and over and over again. It was so damn cute. After she did that several times she would stop and look at me and say, "Is she at work?" I would say, "May...be." and then we would start it all over.

It was fine until it got stuck in my head. :) Oh well.

Then I busted my butt down to a friends for some cribbage. I had to redeem myself from losing last night. :( I finally won one game, but when we finished I realized the window was behind me so he might have been able to see my cards and just let me win. I'm hoping not. :) And probably not since he's as competitive as I am.

Now I need to get to bed so I can get up at 5. These late nights are going to kill me. :)

26 April 2009

A full day

First a quote:

Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. ~Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

Today was a very good day, even though I have a gut ache right now. I got up and made it to church where BigO had a great sermon on why we go to worship. And we sang a couple great hymns and God was nice to my voice this morning so I sounded great. :)

After church I went through a couple baskets I have on my coffee table that hold a bunch of papers. I have half a bag to recycle right now and a small box to shred. The bad thing about cleaning out those was that they are seen, so my apartment is still a mess.

I ran 4 today - the first couple were great, the last 2 were a little rough. Note to self: don't eat chips & salsa or ice cream any time the same day before running. Not a good idea.

Then tonight was dinner with a friend who was in the Navy. Hilarious stories, I must say, and we played a little cribbage. I let him win. Uh huh. I'm sticking to that story. :)

All in all, a very good Sunday. I can go to bed a tired but happy woman. :)

25 April 2009

N&N weekend

I should have gone running this morning, but I opted for day two of niece and nephew weekend.

Last night after work I went south to visit my sister's kids during their Spring Concert. Em is in 3rd and so they did Orff music - a weird song and then a dance number. She has really good rhythm so I'm hoping when she gets to her band years she'll pick percussion. :)

Zach is in 5th so he is in band and is playing trombone. He's actually pretty good, though we'll have to work on his toe tapping. During one song he was tapping the trumpet's notes - kind of on beat, but he kept adding an 8th note in there so it was kind of funny. He did really well though. The 5th and 6th did a couple combined band numbers and really showed the potential they'll have as they enter high school.

After the band numbers the 4th through 6th grades performed 101 Dalmatians...the short kids musical version. This was really good! I was very impressed with them.

Today I went north to see my nephew Jake play soccer. His sister Ava sat on my lap during the game because it was freakin' cold. You gotta love this state - 90 degrees two days ago, and today in the 30s. Ugh. Jake did really well playing today...much better than last fall. He had some really good kicks and running kicks. I was really proud of him. He's improving, which is great.

After the game we swung back to the house so I could get some stuff for my SIL that she wanted custom framed. Once we had sorted everything out with that, I was heading out to go home and Ava came to me in the hallway. I picked her up and she squeezed me around my neck, hugging me. It was sweet...she was shaking she was hugging me so hard. Then she gave me a kiss on my cheek and said, "I like you." I said, I like you too! She said, "I like my mom and dad more though." I said, You should. In fact, you should love your mom and dad. She said, "I do love them. I love you too." Aw... warm, fuzzy on my heart.

Then it was back home to go shopping with my sister and Em for clothes. I hate shopping, but not as bad (anymore) as Em does. Luckily it was survivable and I got to work on my patience skill. We had a good afternoon and I even found a couple shirts and picked up my blender for my smoothies Keith wants me to start having.

It's hard to believe though, that it's 9:22 now. I should be in bed, but I have laundry in. My apartment is such a mess right now and I have so much to do. I have to run tomorrow - HAVE TO - and I need to go into work, not to mention clean my house. Next week is going to be super busy so I really need to be productive this weekend. Hopefully a good night's sleep tonight will help.

24 April 2009

I know I'm being totally lame here

So I haven't really had a lot of time to write at night, but during the day I've been semibored so I've been logging my comments in an email and then sending them home at night. Aren't you excited? It's like an inside look in my brain. Scary, I know.

So here's todays - not much going on in my head today. Which is a total lie - there was too much to write so you're only getting a few bits:

KC is dangerous to hang out with. You think I'm warped and twisted? Hell, no. This girl can turn any conversation around and her giggle is just infectious so you end up laughing too and then looking like you're a perv when really it's all her! Of course the funny thing is that she tries to tell people that it's me but they don't believe her! Yes, I am an angel. :)

I'm feeling very patriotic right now, but I can't talk about it.

I hate being the supply girl. It sucks. It's a pain in the ass to try to keep track of all my orders from my 9 different sections ordering items. I really need to come out and go through my email so I can sort things better. I lose requests in my inbox. :(

23 April 2009

Oh, and I'm pathetic

I had one simple, or not so simple, task to do tonight. Basically a question to ask. Just one.

Did I do it? Of course not! Because I'm a wuss and pathetic and didn't know how to phrase it properly to make sure there was clarity and understanding on the part of the hearer.

So instead, there continues to be no clarity or understanding on my part.

Dumb, Moe. Dumb.

I can't have my cake and eat it too.

Must read link first: YAY! As one who hates celebrating birthdays in public, this is one of the best things I've seen in a long time. Down with the cupcakes and frosting!

I've been counting my calories, fat, protein, etc content again lately. I have a spreadsheet called "Return of the Foodie". Last summer I had one just called Foodie but I kind of lost interest in it after TCM in October. But I realized a couple weeks ago that my diet has been shit lately so I really need to keep better track of what I'm eating, when and why.

It's kind of a fun project, which I know seems odd, but I can write down what I ate and figure out what is best for me. Like this morning I had two pieces of toast with Smart Balance PB. Yum. It filled me up and was only 280 calories. And then my snack was hummus, wheat thins and some grapes: 285. Lunch was a kicker since KC and SBK and I went out to eat, but I guesstimated and while it was high, at least I know I'm not way over what I should be eating for the day. AND it helps me to stay accountable to what I'm eating. Yesterday I almost bought some Whoppers for the afternoon snack. But when I remembered I'd have to write it down and claim all those empty calories I held off. Yay me! :)

Of course, then I went out for pizza tonight and had two slices and I have no idea the numbers involved there. I really need to run tomorrow. :)

22 April 2009

The word for the day is...


I've used this in about 7 different emails today. What the hell?

Random thoughts today

Investment can be a good thing. In the troubled economy we live in, investing is important. We invest in our future not only monetarily, but in our relationships as well. The question comes in when do we know that our investment is the right one, or that it's maturing at the level it should be? How do you set expectations for that? You expect a bond to mature at a specific rate, but in relationships can you set a maturing level? And what if you don't reach that level in a timely manner? Do you cut and run, or do you hold out hoping that it will flourish in the future?

I love this song with Mosaic (scroll down and listen to "Home"). The lyrics are here. This is the lead singer.

The tip of my nose feels fuzzy, like there's something on the end of it. It tingles and I'm not sure why.

I just discovered that when I smile or laugh, there are these weird tendons in my ears that pop up. Very strange.

Nathan Lane cracks me up.

He likes me! He really likes me! :) My boss gave me a card today for Administrative Professionals Day (aka Secretary's Day, but both he and I despise that term). How sweet is that? And a gift card to Starbucks! Suh-weet! But really, the card was what made my day.

It's nice to be called the "young" one in a class.

YAY for feta and hummus!

21 April 2009

7 hours is a long time

I love visiting my fabulous urban family in Wisconsin, but I hate the 7-hour drive. It's not bad usually, because I generally make a game out of it: Fill the tank with gas and see how fast I can go and still make it there on one tank. The bonus is if I can make it without stopping. The better bonus is if I can make it without stopping, still get good gas mileage and still be able to make it back to the gas station when I leave.

This trip was a little iffy.

I started out just as I do, I filled the tank. But I headed home to finish packing (one stop), then went to BK to get lunch (stop two), and then headed on the road. I was running late so I opted out of the brat stop (stop three) and just kept going. Sadly I started 15 minutes late so I was 15 minutes late to WI. I also had to go a bit faster to get there on time, which made my gas mileage suck a little (only 36 this time), and I really pushed it close on the gas left in the tank. I actually hit Zero on my gas-ometer. Scary.

So this morning it was the return trip. I was able to make it to PDQ to get gas, though barely. And the fact I hadn't ran my car all weekend and it was colder than expected, my flat tire light came on which freaked me out. Luckily after running the car to the station and filling up with gas, it was fine (I also checked my tires, just in case you think I'm an idiot and don't do that sort of thing).

But the sucky thing was driving into a headwind - strong headwind - all the way home. I couldn't make it all the way. I had to stop about 2 hours out from home to fill up the tank as I only had 100 miles left on the gas-ometer, but 150 miles left to go. Shoot. And my gas mileage sucked. :(

Oh well. It was worth it. And 7 hours alone with my thoughts is a dangerous thing. But that's a blog for another day.

20 April 2009

I'm going to miss this place

Despite the poop and screaming yesterday, I am really going to miss this little girl:

19 April 2009

One of those days...

So today is my day with Nika and it's going okay. I wish she wasn't sick because she's so tired and doesn't want to nap. She so needs her sleep but it's killing me to hear her cry right now.

But up until now the day has been okay...well, ups and downs really. Nika and I get along great, until we have to get her dressed, or until she poops - twice, or until it's time to nap. We went to church to hear her daddy preach. That was fun. His parishoner's love her, so that's always helpful for me. (Until of course he publicly makes fun of my hatred of mushrooms and then pointed me out to the entire church while I was standing in the back with Nika...nice, thanks E).

But I got home and she was still sleeping from the car ride so I put her in her crib and headed to the bathroom. Sadly, the toilet is clogged or plugged or something because it overflowed a bit. I've been plunging away most of the day but I'm not sure it's fixed, because I went to K&E's bathroom in their room (I really had to go!) and that one kind of plugged up too - it didn't flush all the way at least. UGH! Just what I need - two broken toilets. Dammit.

And then of course Nika had to poop twice, so those are tied up in a plastic bag, because I had nowhere else to put them at this point. :( And she just won't sleep.

It's been one of those days so far. God help me, I now know why parents drink.

Oh, and the Indians lost. That doesn't help either. :(

18 April 2009

"You animal!"

So I'm in Wisconsin visiting my favorite people - K&E and my Goddaughter, Nika. I love this weekend, and it's only been a little over 24 hours. :) I'm always happy when I'm here...these folks help me feel whole again. Thank you K&E!!!

This morning I was going to go running, but when I woke up after 8 hours of sleeping, as I do, I just didn't quite feel like getting up. So I stayed in bed. Of course, I've said it before, this house is great for sleeping.

We decided to take advantage of the perfect spring day and go to the zoo. K&E had gotten a year pass when Nika was born, so they activated it this week. What a great zoo! Of course, I'm always excited about a place that opens with penguins. My disappointment was not seeing the tortoises, but I'll see those when I go to the zoo at home sometime. It was the perfect day though, and we went at just the right time. As we were heading out it got really busy.

Lunch was at a place called Stir Crazy, which was basically Asian with an option for something like a HuHot. We opted for just having them serve us. We ended up with a free appetizer (their mistake) and all had great meals. Our server was great and kept me in iced tea, so I was a happy camper. mmm

We ditched E (he had a work meeting) and K and I and her sister went shopping for a Wii and WiiFit for her. K&E have it at home and love it. I will admit I got a little excited about it too, but until I buy a new TV and other electronics, it's not really an option.

Tonight we had dinner and just hung out until we decided to try out the WiiFit. It's pretty fun. I'm still a die-hard runner though, but this was a nice change. Maybe someday I'll get it.

The other awesome thing about today was the shellacking of the Yankees by the Cleveland Indians! GO TRIBE! I couldn't believe it when I logged on this afternoon in the middle of the game and discovered the Indians were up 14-2. Yes, fourteen runs in the 2nd inning. How insane! The boys ended up beating the Yanks 22-4. What a day!

17 April 2009

And fun shall be had by all

Today will be a fun and full day - a little running, a little work, a little driving, a few brats, a little singing, a little fish, a little Nika, and a lot of happiness.

I'm SO excited!!!

16 April 2009

Stupid me...and a fabulously Un-PC moment

I totally forgot to give a shout out to my Goddaughter who turned 1-year-old yesterday! Nika: I love you so much and I'm so glad you're in my life! I can't wait to see you!

Today was an intense day. Boss1 returned from a trip and asked how I was. I had to explain that it was to be a stressful day, at least it would be beginning at 12:05 when the Indians meet the Yankees at Yankees new stadium for the Yankees Home Opener. And the fact that it was CC facing Cliff Lee...yeah, that had no effect on any of it either.

Luckily he understood the magnitude of this game, and my obsession with the Cleveland Indians, and he left the office for the afternoon so I could work and watch and swear as needed without getting too upset. :) And my boys pulled out a stellar win today - 10 to 2! How incredible!

The boys really needed this win, I think. Hopefully the rest of the series this weekend will go as well, though I feel a retaliation will probably happen. But I'm going to cross my fingers and pray and send happy thoughts that they (the Indians) can pull it off.

15 April 2009

Is it sacreligious to call God a "little thing"?

I was thinking on the way home today how it's the little things that make me feel whole. Little things like hugs, smiles, forgotten purchases that arrive in the mail, kisses, etc. Of course, as I thought this I was walking out of church after our Adult Class tonight.

We're discussing "The Freedom of a Christian" by Martin Luther the next few weeks. It'll turn into a big discussion on Free Will, but tonight was just getting the basics of Luther's theology down so people could understand it. And a lot of what we talked about was how our faith has a lot of tension in it - saint and sinner at the same time, God and Man at the same time (JC, that is), etc.

I'm not going to go into theology tonight. I just want to say that it's the little things that count. Going to this class tonight was such a little thing, but it filled me up, so to speak, with something I've been missing. It was good. Hugs do that for me too. And God knows, I don't get enough of those these days.

14 April 2009

I'm starting to repeat myself

I was going to use "Someday I'll figure this out" for the title of this post and then I realized I already used it. Great... I can't even come up with something clever.

Anyway... I got a nice 3 mile run in with SG tonight. She hadn't ran in 3 weeks and I'm still a wee bit tender from my massage therapy yesterday. But it was nice to get out. She was brave and wore shorts and a t-shirt. I wore my yoga pants (black), a t-shirt and a light jacket (all black), so I'm sure we looked like quite the pair. Oh well...we still went out and it felt great. I'm so glad the weather is warmer.

Interesting work day. I started with catching up with SBK for an hour, tried to work for awhile, then my mentor took me out for lunch. I needed that, but it turned into a little longer than it should have, so I'll have to sign out some time. Oh well, very worth it. But tomorrow must be productive.

I blame it on the fact that all four bosses were out today. I need someone there to keep me alert - though Boss1 is best, the others will do. :)

Had a nice counseling session with my counselor (natch) this afternoon too. It was good, though not sure he's right. But he probably is, which is what sucks. I'm too old for this shit.

I know this doesn't make ANY sense, but I can't write it all here, so you'll just have to deal. ramble ramble ramble, such is me. :)

13 April 2009

It's a good thing I love my car.

I spent 8 hours today in my Mini. Yep...8 hours.

Most of my friends thought I was absolutely insane. "You're going where? You're getting up when? You're leaving at what time? And you're coming back the same day?"

Yep. I had a massage appointment today at 10 in the cities...an approximate 4 hour drive away. And for most other people this would be insane and they'd drive up the night before. But I get up at 4:30 or 5 each day anyway so this wasn't a big deal to me. It's not like I needed to be dressed to the nines.

So I left around 5:30 and got there by 9:30 - time enough spared to get fuel for the trip back and make a pit stop - and I still made my appointment early.

OH...what a great appointment. 2.5 hours of massage therapy and boy, did I need it! It was only supposed to be a 2 hour session but I was so tight that Keith had to put in overtime, all the while saying, "Promise me you won't wait two months again. PROMISE!"

Alright. I can't turn that down and truthfully, the more often I go the less pain it is because my muscles can stay the way they are supposed to be (maintenance instead of fixing at that point). Now if only I could get him to move south... hmmmm....

After the session, Keith and I went to Good Earth for lunch. I was excited because we don't have this in my town and I do love their food. Too bad they screwed up our order and we had to leave for Keith's next session. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Then it was off to see Debbie. I haven't seen her in MONTHS so I had to visit her at work. She's such a doll. We caught up, exchanged gifts and chatted it up.

Then back on the road for me. It was a whirlwind trip but I really needed to get out of this town, even if only for 7 hours. I needed it.

Now, back to the grind.

12 April 2009

To be loved...

... you have to be lovable.

I think about this phrase a lot. It's one of those phrases that is constantly in my mind, and what I use to try to live my life. I try to be lovable - not in a way that demands people want to love me, but in a way that I want to help people and help them be happy - because when they are happy, then so am I. Negativity just drains me (and I can do that well enough on my own.)

There's a book, a quiz, a website - The Five Love Languages. What's interesting about this is that I've taken the quiz a few different times in my life (though I've never read the book) and I've had a different answer each time. Once I got the answer that I'm a gift person. Another time I like physical touch. Another it was Quality Time.

Which makes me wonder is there ever one specific way that people feel love? When I go the gift answer I had to chuckle, because truly I don't like receiving gifts (not when they are "expected" or "required" - if they are spontaneous because someone loves me, that's another story), but I do like giving gifts. I like to make other people happy, so I'm constantly finding things that would be good gifts for other people and I give them away for no reason.

But I remember when I took this quiz, I was trying to win the heart of a handsome man and when I said the answer was wrong because I actually prefer physical touch, he chastised me for our date a few weeks prior because I hardly touched him. Truth - I was super nervous and the whole PDA thing, and Military thing, and just fear of him pulling away from me at the slightest inclination of physical contact freaked me out and kept my hands at bay.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I'm just rambling as usual. Lots of things on my brain these days. I miss hugs. I used to get these at work all the time. Now with my new job I rarely, if ever, get hugs (I have to travel out of state for this to happen it seems). I miss that. I miss physical contact.

And the quality time thing...It is true. I do like quality time with those I care about. And as most of my friends are miles and miles and states away, that is a rarity too.

Maybe I'm just feeling alone today. Very probable. Good thing I'm going to the Cities tomorrow for a quickie trip - massage (physical contact), quality time (lunch with Keith and a date with Debbie), and gifts (presents for Debbie!). I'll be able to hit all three in the space of 6 hours. Hopefully that will recharge my batteries.

11 April 2009

Blah Saturday

I should not have this much time off. I'm unproductive, ornery, crabby, and not liking it. I need projects. I need things to do. I need a house so I always have something that should be done.

I'm guessing you've figured out that I didn't do much today. I got up late which wasn't good. Went for a run which was okay, but not what I was expecting. Then I ventured out in the world of retail to try to find something - anything! - that might work for a mini-gift bag for Em for her birthday.

See, it's her 9th b-day today and so it was her party tonight, which was fun. But I had already told her we would have a Aunt-Niece day or weekend together so I wouldn't be getting her a gift. But I didn't want her to have nothing to open either.

So what I did was got her a stuffed tiger (zoo), blow-up beach balls (swimming), cookie cutter (duh), and sprinkles (also for the cookies, but for ice cream too), and a photo album (so we can document and have it to remember the day/weekend by). The latter I had done for her for her 6th b-day (which was her gift then too). It was fun and I made one album for her and a like one for me. We'll do that again this year.

But that was the day.

So I'm making a plan for tomorrow. I can't have another unproductive day. So here it is: church at sunrise, run (more than yesterday and feel better about it - attitude is everything), movie with mom (Slumdog Millionaire at the cheapo theater), and then I'm going to go through papers and magazines and recycle. I have so many loose papers lying around for NO reason. I need to get rid of this stuff so I can feel less cluttered. And the magazines! UGH!

Good plan for Easter right? Resurrecting Jesus and my apartment. :)

10 April 2009

Blah Friday

Yeah, not a lot of Good here. I did get a 2.5 mile run in, which is nothing in terms of what I should be running, but at least I still went out. My diet has been shit lately. After Em's b-day tomorrow, I'm totally going back on SB. I need to get back to normal.

But other than the run and church tonight, I didn't do a thing today. So tomorrow must be more productive and therefore I'm going to go to bed.

Oh and a note to my stalker up north: you may read this and you may email me, but I refuse to acknowledge you outside of the perimeters I set months ago.

09 April 2009

Maundy, Maundy...so good to me

Today is Maundy Thursday in the Lutheran world. This is probably going to sound weird, but this is one of my favorite holy days during the church year.

For one, it's on a Thursday which used to be my favorite day of the year, but the other reason is the texts for tonight are always so raw and cutting.

The OT text was Genesis 4:1-16 tonight, aka the Cain and Abel story. As BigO said tonight, this text contains the 7 scariest words in the entire Bible (maybe in life in general), "Let us go out to the field." If you know or remember the story, it is there that Cain rises up against his brother and kills him. The Bible's first murder. Wow. And the kicker - Cain is still protected by God. God doesn't abandon Cain. God gets pissed, who wouldn't, but doesn't abandon Cain at all in the end. Instead Cain is given a mark so all the world knows he is protected by God.

Of course this brings up one of my two favorite sacraments (grin), Baptism. We're all marked by God in Baptism and we are promised we will not be abandoned. What a gift!

Okay, but getting back to tonight. At the end of this service - we have the sermon, we have offering, we have communion - we strip the altar. We remove the altar and sanctuary of all "flair" (to use an FB term) leaving it bare and open to the world.

There is a lot of symbolism in this, and Big O read off their reasoning for each item, which of course I can't remember right now. But as each statement was read, another item was removed, taken away from our sight.

I just kept thinking how earthy it all was - how the connection between the coming death of Christ and our coming death, where we'll be stripped to nothing and revealed as our true selves really is so clear.


The last word really hit home - in death we are revealed for who we really are. We know we're all sinners, but in death we will really be shown for who we are and have been in this life. And just as our death will show us who we are, the death of Christ (coming to a church near you) reveals who He really is - God, our Savior, our Redeemer.

I thank God for this day. I needed this. For the shit of a person I am, I need to know that despite my faults and stupid actions, God will not abandon me.

08 April 2009

Obsession can be a good thing

So remember when I wrote this and talked about my obsessive behavior?

Well, it's probably a good thing I do this. Today there was a message on my online account telling me this: "This is to inform you that your account may be at risk for unauthorized use."

Okay, so I'm really glad that they keep an eye on my account and if there is an issue they alert me. What I'm PISSED about is that this was the only alert I received. I didn't get a phone call (which they have done when I've been at B&N and tried to buy books but the receipt paper jammed and so they had to cancel the entire order and then rerun it - they blocked my card until I got on the phone to talk to them about it in person). I also didn't get an email at all.

I am livid, though trying to stay calm. Thank God for my OCD. So I called them up to find out what was what. Of course the help dude didn't really have an answer but that my payments I have scheduled to pay my account will flow through.

However, I have no credit card until I get my new one in the mail. It's a good thing I have enough food to keep me for awhile, but I probably will need to pull some cash from savings just to tied me over.

So again, I'm mad they didn't let me know this was going to happen. The bad thing is that if it doesn't come by the weekend, I'm going to have to figure out how to pay Keith on Monday. I don't have that much cash...well, a check might work this time. hmmm.

ugh. I didn't need this today. Oh well...this too shall pass, right? I hope so.

07 April 2009

Hair today, gone tomorrow...

...well not really.

I bought hot rollers today. Yes, I'm becoming a girl. Now I just need to figure out how to use them.

KC did such a great job on my hair on Saturday, though I will say initially I was freaked out with the curls, but once they relaxed it looked awesome. (Of course the snow helped too).

So I thought I'd try this on a more regular basis - you know, instead of just pulling my hair into a ponytail all the time. It doesn't take long, but I don't really know how to do it just yet. I need to practice.

I'm such a dork. Isn't this stuff you're supposed to learn in junior high or high school? Not when you're 34? It reminds me of a line from a book once. This guy asks a girl to teach him how to bake cookies. She says, "You don't know how to make cookies?" And he says, "Well, it's kind of like sex. You reach a certain age and it's embarrassing to ask someone how to do it."

Yep. I'm there.

06 April 2009

No more excuses

I got this email today...

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?'. The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together.
One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes' too. For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island . Father and son went on to complete the race together. View this race here. There's music, so feel free to turn it down if you'd rather.

I haven't ran in 2 weeks because I've been "too busy" or it's been "too cold". I didn't bring my running gear on this conference because I figured it'd be too chilly and other various pathetic reasons.

When I get home tomorrow, I'm going running. I have no excuse, no reason not to run. And I have signed up for a marathon in May. A lowly marathon when you look at what those two have accomplished.

No more excuses.

05 April 2009

Great wedding moments

At the church:
A conversation:
M: But they spelled altar wrong!
C: You'd think it would have been underlined in red on the word program.
M: Uh, no. Alter - as in alter your state - would still be correct.
C: Oh, that's right. Are you going to underline it now?
M: I would but I don't have my red pen with me.
C: (rummages in her handbag and produces a red sharpie)
M: Oh, sure. You have a red sharpie in your handbag, but when I asked you, a MOM, for a wet nap you had nothing.

A situation:
The typical Canon in D begins for the bride's entrance, the doors open, and nothing. We wait. There is giggling up front, but we couldn't see from where we were sitting. Suddenly through the windows to the back we see a woman come sprinting (well jogging really - she was in a dress and heels) with a bouquet in hand. Ah... the bride forgot her bouquet.

At the reception:

My date, LV, said, "This is great. I don't know any of these people. At 10 o'clock I'm going to do a table dance!" Nice... that won't hurt my job or anything. So we kept reminding him of that. Suddenly just before 10, C suggested to go to the bar instead of staying at the drunk fest. Dammit. We missed his dance. :(

LV counting for me while we danced. Funny thing was, when I stopped counting and just sang along with the song, I did much better. But the man can dance. I need to practice now.

Having dance wars with KC and MB - "Oh, we can't let them show us up." And MB watching the blonde on the TV, KC grabbing his ass, LV and I just laughing our butts off when we confronted them with it at the bar later. :)

Watching the groom removing the garter from the bride's leg with his teeth. That took a good 5 minutes and he had to remove her shoe to do so.

Seeing the brother of the groom with the garter on her head after he "won" it in the auction. Can I just say, "Ew."

LV dropping me at the door when we arrived, and leaving me at the door to go get the truck. Which led to MB trying to be chivalrous and feigning setting his coat on the snow for KC to step on. HA! And then trying to push her into the truck by her ass.

At the bar:
Blowing bubbles - seriously - as the guys covered their drinks.
Blowing bubbles so well that one of them lands in KC's drink. Score!
Watching the boys go to the bathroom together. Wait, what?!?
LV tapping out paradiddles (which I can't spell, let alone perform) on the table and MB saying, "Wait, do that again." "No, again!" :)
LV helping me into my coat.
LV holding the door for me.
LV walking me to my door. (Chivalry ain't dead, folks.)

Back to reality

The wedding yesterday was great. Of course, me being me and my background helping with weddings at LS, I had to critique it a little... like the typo on the back of the bulletins (alter, instead of altar); a couple of the texts used; how the pastor and groom walked in to no music though the music was scheduled; the bouquet not with the bride as she was ready to walk down the aisle (which added a few more minutes of waiting as one of the PA's ran to get it); and a few other minor things. :)

Yes, I critique weddings. I shouldn't be allowed to go to them. :) The reception was good. LV came with me and we hung out with KC and MB for the night. We laughed, we ate, we drank and we danced. I will say LV is quite the dancer. I need to brush up on my steps though MB seemed to think we have danced together before. At least we faked it well. :)

The reception turned into a drunk fest which, as MB put it, was like watching multiple train wrecks over and over again. So we ditched and went to the closest bar for a drink or two. KC and I pulled out the bubbles from the wedding and blew those while MB and LV were talking fishing. :) It entertained us, at least. :)

So all in all a very good night. I forgot my camera though. LV did have his so we used it all of twice - once for a pic of KC and me and another of MB and LV. But since it's LV's camera he'll have to download them for me. I didn't get a pic of me in the dress though...that's what's too bad. Because I looked hot. KC did a wonder on my hair - curls galore (I need to learn how to use hot rollers) and my dress was stunning. :) Yes, I'm tooting my own horn for a bit. :)

Okay...I'm just rambling now though, so I think I'm going to stop for awhile. It's snowy here again. I don't understand weather in this state. It's supposed to be 50 on Wednesday. Very strange.

04 April 2009

Wedding day!

No, not my wedding day, silly. It's SBK's wedding day! I'm so excited for her. She's been waiting a long time for this and her hubby and her fit so well together.

So today I'm going to have to wear a dress, and heels, and fix my hair. No ponytails for me. KC said she'd help me with my hair and makeup. Thank God for that, I'm a mess when it comes to being girly.

I'm watching White Christmas to get inspired for dancing. I love this movie. And yes, I know it's April, but anytime I can come up with an excuse to watch Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, it's a good day.

I also got my 30-day Shred in the mail today. I'm excited about this. jillwillrun has been talking about it a bit and since I can't afford P90X just yet, I thought I'd try this.

Anyway...that's the plan for today. I'll see if KC will take some photos of me so I can post them. It'll be a historical occasion today if I actually look presentable. :)

03 April 2009

A day like any other

I'm kind of liking this vacation thing. I slept in until 6 this morning (of course I was up until almost 10, so that makes sense). Then I made my list and got to work.

It was a 5-load laundry day, sweep and mop the floors day, as well as vacuum day. I didn't quite make it to the dusting...maybe tomorrow.

Really, I did a lot today, and yet it was pretty lame so there's not much to say here. Just a day like any other...truly.


02 April 2009

Meetings make me ponder

Tonight I went to the local rape and domestic abuse center for a meeting. I'm a Victim Advocate at work and the center was having a meeting for their VA's and I thought it'd be good to attend and get some insight.

Mostly I thought this would be good because where I work I probably will never have to use my training as a VA, mostly because of a lot of bureaucratic red tape as well as people where I work just don't report this stuff. (Sadly, that is.) Hell, we barely report harassment, let alone assault. That's a whole other story.

So this training, where one of the victim/witness assistants for the states attorney's office spoke on her duties, was good. I got to meet some of the VA's for the center and get an insight into their world a bit. A lot of what I learned in training seems to be real for them as well. And it makes me wonder...

Maybe I need to step up and volunteer for this center. I was saddened to look at their schedule for next month and see so few names there, or that only 3 VA's were at the training/meeting (which makes me wonder where all the rest were tonight). And as our leader tonight said, they can use all the help they can get.

I'm scared though. I know I've been trained, but I've never had to deal with that situation (assault, sexual or domestic). I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle that. I know there would be more training and that they walk you through calls for the first few times, but I'm just not confident that I could actually help someone.

So I'm not sure what to do. Pray, yes. Consider it all, yes. Do some research, yes. But in the end...am I emotionally stable enough to do this?

Best gifts ever...well at least today

Vacations are odd for me. I like to relax, don't get me wrong, but I don't do well if I don't have some sort of agenda or plan. It doesn't have to go perfect, but I need some sort of structure for my days.

So I woke at 4:56 this morning, but forced myself to stay in bed at least an hour so I wasn't totally going against that which is "vacation". I putzed around the apartment which was bad because I should have gotten a few things done, which I need to do now.

But then I went to the spa with SBK (once she showed up - she's a little brain fried with the wedding on Saturday so she went to the wrong place...whoops). I had a facial, which was nice. I haven't had one in a long time so it was kind of nice to lie there and be pampered. Although one note to the spa place: explain to people how the half robe works - that it's a tube top, not a shawl, so we don't feel like idiots when you come in and we have it draped around our necks like superwoman.

After the facial, I had a contour body wrap. I know Keith would hate me for this, but I really like these. It's nice to be exfoliated and then wrapped up with cellophane (Mr. Cellophane, shoulda been my name...) and told to like on a water bed that massages and warms for 45 minutes. It was so nice. And even if I don't lose inches, because it is hard to believe that that actually happens and stays, it felt so nice.

Once we were done and had dropped a load of cash, we ran a few errands waiting for KC to finish with her meeting at work. Then off to Johnny Carino's for lunch. I haven't been there in a very long time but it was much better than I remembered. I was starving and sucked down 2 huge iced teas, two bowls of salad (because SBK didn't want hers), half a panini (which I'm not a fan) and some fries. Oh and a few bites of tiramasu.

We needed to get KC a dress for Saturday though and luckily she's like a size 2 so it was easy to find her something. Then we ditched SBK and KC and I went to World Market for some fun, and then back to my place because KC wanted an insight to my weird world - which of course looks like a college dorm room because I was once again reminded that I haven't quite grown up yet.*

I am getting to the best gifts...hang on...

So I get home from my meeting tonight (which I'll write more about in another post because this one is already getting too long) and I had a comment on yesterday's post from the ever-fabulous Karen. She found me Diet Coke with Splenda!!!! This is the best gift EVER! I'm so excited!

Okay...so this seems lame, I know, but my town has been out of it for over a year, so I was getting it in the Cities when I went. Well, last June 1 I got 2 12-packs, went back a week later and they no longer stocked it. So then I picked some up in Wisconsin when I was visiting there...I haven't been there in a long time.

Last November, I was on the western side of the state and found it. I was so excited, so I bought out the shelf that night, went back two nights later, bought the shelf out again. And then I hired my friend who actually travels back and forth to there more often than I do, to pick it up for me. He came back last month and they were out of it again.

So Karen, wherever you found this...please tell them that you'll be buying it from them for me...and then tell me where it is so I can tell Dean... And I just realized you said you're coming back in May... is that for good?????

Okay...the other best gift is that I have a date for SBK's wedding now. Thank God. I'm honestly really surprised about this, but I'm excited too. Now I have to make sure I look damn hot.

*KC didn't tell me that, but I'm always painfully aware of what my apartment looks like when people who actually have houses come to visit. And it makes me sad.

01 April 2009

Random zings

Okay, first, I have no idea what was up with that comment on yesterday's post. But I've deleted it so hopefully something like that won't show up again. Crossing fingers!!!

Second...today was, of course, April Fool's Day. Dammit to Boss3 for making me play. I don't like this day, but he wanted to play something on KC. So we concocted this story that I'm PG and not sure what to do.

Well, he and KC turned it around on me and Boss3 said that she was so excited that I was PG and then she could pawn off kid clothes on to me.

There's so much more to this story and maybe someday I'll play it all out, but in the end, Boss3 did want to play something on KC, but she figured it out quickly and turned it around to coerce me over to her office for cake. That said, we both figured it out quickly what Boss3 was doing but we were going to keep playing it out, because we just like to mess with each other, but he fessed up.

Oh well... we still had cake and then went out for lunch which was so much fun. I got back and I was so full, which I really don't understand because all I had was a cup of soup and half a sandwich and with the ab workout we both put in, you'd think I would have worked all of that off.

All I can say is, I'm really glad KC is in my life. She is so much fun.

But the best news...I'm on vacation now. Two days off from work, a weekend, then two days at a conference so I'm not back to my office until Wednesday. God bless comp time. I'm so excited for these days. I have some plans (because otherwise I'll go insane) and it should be fun.

I'm so excited that I'm going to go to bed now. :) ha! Like that's unusual.