A vote of self confidence

This is Stephanie Klein, who is awesome. Enjoy!

Voices 14

My boss and I have a running joke. He started it. A few months back he sneezed a few times and I blessed him, of course, and then he said, "I must be allergic to work." We've kept this going for awhile.

Well, when I get sick, I sneeze. I've graduated to a little cough now, too. Joy. But today I went on one of my sneeze rampages (those of you who know me personally understand this - I think I had 11) and he said, "You must really be allergic to work." I said, "Can I use my sick time then?"

He didn't respond, which was probably wise since I have a pile of work on my desk and I had stupidly hinted this morning on our way to a meeting that we should be playing hooky today (not together) because it was a beautiful 64 all day, blue sky and NO wind.

I really wanted to run today. But I'm so sick that there were points during the day where I had to prop my head up with my hands because it was so heavy it wouldn't stay up on its own.

What also sucked is that my nephew was having a preschool program tonight and I really wanted to go, but he has a little sister and I don't want to get either of them sick.

So I didn't run and just came home after work. Sadly my head kept yelling at me that I should go run. So I compromised. I went for a walk. The fresh air did do me some good for a little while. And the moving helped me to breathe a little better. Hopefully I can get better soon. I desperately need to run.

And because I haven't done this in awhile, I thought I'd share a couple pictures with things that made me happy today.

This is my park. When I run, I run by David all the time.
If you can see, there's a river just beyond the end
of the cement down there on the left.
Across the river there's a nice hill leading up to the bridge.

These are flowers and my new Chuck's.
The latter made me extremely happy today.
I've wanted Chuck's for a very long time and finally I just ordered them.
Aren't they cute? I love, love, love them!

Voices 13

Dis is my voice today.

I slept wid da window open last night and now I hab a code.

And I look like crap.

Sleep tight eberyone!

P.S. Did you ever sneeze so hard your back hurt?

Voice 12

The voice of reason and objectivity can sometimes seem harsh, but let's face it the truth hurts.

Mtanga was totally right today. She commented on my post here where I was being all pathetic and... well, me. I really needed to hear this.

Girl, you are so right. I've been thinking about your comment all day. You're totally right. I can dress how I want to. I think I've dressed the way I have - jeans and tees - because I feel like I live in a hick town. But I don't have to dress that way. I also think that initially when I moved back it was out of comfort having had to dress up all the time before, but now I've just gotten lazy and have slipped into complacency. (My only kudos to myself is that I haven't slipped into swishy pants yet. Thank God for that - at least I've kept some of my standards.)

If I want to feel better and dress better than I need to just step up and do that. Even pink suspenders if I want to. It's funny because I never defend why I like the Indians, so why I'm being so pathetic about what I wear, I don't know.

On a similar note, Andrea asked a good question today. This is my answer: "Today I am willing to receive constructive criticism and advice, especially when it helps me to see that my self-loathing isn't doing me any good and that I can be the person I want to be even if others think it odd."

Thanks, Mtanga.

Voices 11

Happy Mother's Day to those who are celebrating this day.

So many of my friends are mom's or soon-to-be mom's or just became mom's or will be mom's someday in the future. It's a happy time.

Me? I'm a Godmama. I'm so excited about this new venture in my life. Granted I've been a Godmother before - but to boys who are actually my nephews too. So the aunt thing kind of wins out over Godmother (it should probably be the other way around).

But now I'm an honest-to-goodness Godmama. Nika is adorable and I get to meet her in person in less than 2 weeks! Around 10 days, give or take a day - depending on how you count. YAY! I'm going to tell her bunches of stories and spoil her sweeter (instead of rotten). She's so cute and I can't wait to hear all she has to say.

I'm thinking of seeing if Nika would be okay with just calling me the GM. :) That could be fun.

Voices 10

This really has nothing to do with voices other than the voices in my head wishing I could be better looking and not look like crap.

I'm watching the Princess Diaries tonight. I love Larry Miller. He cracks me up. He plays Paolo in this movie where he makes-over Mia.

There was a lot of controversy (well, some) when this movie first came out - people complaining that it made it seem like only women with straight hair (not curls like Mia has originally) and women without glasses are worthy of being princesses (or something like that...I just remember the few stories about it).

Anyway, some of the things they do make me nervous - like plucking eyebrows (I probably should do this but I'm scared to start) and it seems everyone wears dresses all the time. Of course I'm not feeling the hottest today so that could be part of it. And it could be that Glamour says you should declare 90-days of being pant free - meaning you should wear dresses and show off those hot legs. And the fact that I haven't shaved my legs since the beginning of April (I know, "ew", but really...who's feeling my legs anyway? no one) and I haven't been running near enough makes me all the more nervous about trying to move into a dress regime, let alone shorts.

I would like to up the ante in my wardrobe though. Beege was talking about wardrobes where you have some basic pieces and build around them. My friend Grant used to talk about his sister and how she had built one of her sets of wardrobes around blacks and reds and anything in her suitcase she could make an outfit out of because everything went together. I had commented to Beege that I have a basic wardrobe - jeans and black t's.

It saddens me a little because I used to sort of dress up when I had my other job - I had to look at least professional. Not that I wore dresses because they weren't always practical in my job, but I at least wore more than jeans. In fact, in that job the only time I wore jeans was on weekends. Now I'm in them all the time - after work, weekends, any time I can.

But I miss dressing up. I need a make over. I remember reading once that Jennifer Aniston said she had to be taught fashion when she first became famous. I wish I could have that. Of course I want to lose like 20 some pounds first, but I really need help.

Of course I could dress up - I still have all my "dress shirts" that I bought the month before I was hired for my current job. Stupid me didn't return them and I have never worn them. So I could. Mark S (*sigh* - you can't say his name without sighing - trust me - K&E you know who I'm talking about - Scott's bro-in-law...*sigh*) ..anyway...he used to dress up on days when he had a lot to do. It was his strategy to keep him motivated and get work done. I tried it a few times and it really worked. Maybe I should try that again.

I mean, I look at these super cute spring and summer dresses in Glamour and Cosmo and other mags and I really wish I could wear those. I wish I could look sophisticated instead of a college kid. It's no wonder people think I'm 23 instead 33 as I am. Not that that's a bad thing, but if it's based on what I'm wearing, that's not good. I love my jeans and t's and I know I'll never get rid of them, but maybe I'm wearing them too much.

But truly - I want to learn how to style my hair. I want to wear dresses without feeling like I'm a fraud. Can someone really change? Mia does it, but of course that's Hollywood. Can someone like me - a lamo who wears a uniform and hair in a make-shift bun most of the week, and jeans and a low braid the rest of the week - can I learn how to dress better and look better? Can I wear dresses and look classy without feeling like a fraud?

My other fear: I have an opera I'm attending in a month and I have nothing to wear and I want to look hot. I'm scared I won't be able to pull it off. Not that the boys care what I wear - they've told me to be comfortable and one said I could even wear a pantsuit if I wanted - but I feel like I should dress nicer. It's an opera! And E! is wearing a tux. I want to look hot on his arm. Can I make it?