29 June 2006
Last week was the infamous Emmy Day where I took my niece out for a day of just her and me. This was in lieu of a birthday gift in April since I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what to get her. But it ended up being a gift to both of us. Being able to spend 10 non-stop hours with a 6-year-old helps one appreciate the beauty of life.
We started off at my guard unit watching the F-16s take off. Emmy is pretty shy so she didn’t talk much until we got back to Morty. Then we went to the zoo. This was fun for me since I hadn’t been there in a long time, but the penguin exhibit left a lot to be desired. I hope they’re just doing construction to improve it because it was nothing like what I remembered it to be.
Emmy wanted to play mini golf so we did that too. And shopped at Target for her real b-day gift. AND played on several playgrounds. AND we ended the day having dinner with her mom, my sister, which was great for all of us. A full day, truly.
The day really helped me to appreciate youthfulness and the ability to just go with the flow and accept every moment for what it is, and treasure it as it happens. The season is long, as K said once, but time is precious. I think that’s a point K made too – there is time to do things like this: taking your niece out for the day, making a call to a friend, stopping and having coffee even if you do have a pile of tasks on your desk. There IS time to do these things and we should be doing these things. Because a big key to life is that it is precious.
And to continue on the life is precious moment, I’m heading home again this weekend to spend time with the whole family for Jake’s 3rd b-day and Baltic’s 125th Anniversary. I’ll get to see Emmy again, as well as Zach, Jake and the sibs. The only sad thing is Monte, et al, won’t be here. Miss them.
26 June 2006
Wow, how quickly things change. This morning I returned to work having been gone since last Wednesday at noon and apparently our school has switched vocations (can a school switch vocations? Is that possible?). Anyway, a gentleman called and asked if we were the polka place. I said, I didn’t think so but you never know. Maybe we should add that in to the curriculum.
Soooo….what a fabulous weekend I had! It was a much needed break from here and I had so much fun. It's one I'll remember for a very long time.
Highlights: (I’m going to try jb’s and mt’s way of doing things)
- Walking for over an hour with mom in the morning air
- Riding in the Falcon truck – sweet!
- Watching and feeling F-16s take off from Last Chance
- Going to the zoo
- Playing mini golf
- Spending time with Emmy
- Hearing Emmy say, “But I’m not bored yet!”
- Chatting with my sister over supper
- Spending time with an incredible friend :)
- Sitting in the park, in the rain, under a blanket
- Watching a couple get married in the park – a nice simple ceremony
- Lunch at the Diner
- Lunch at HuHot
- Looking at old pictures of guard members
- Driving home in the rain
- Falling asleep listening to a friend tell me stories (this wasn’t in a bad way)
There were other great highlights from the weekend, but none I want to put here. Sorry folks. Some parts of my life need to be kept to myself. :)
21 June 2006
Yep, I’m on vacation for the next couple days. I can’t wait! I leave today after lunch and off for the rest of the week. Of course I am doing some guard stuff, but I will be away from LS for a bit and home and near all my loved ones. YAY ME!
20 June 2006
I’m losing focus today. Everything is fuzzy. One one hand, It’s a beautiful day (it’s raining! YAY!) and I get to see Keith today. But I want to be somewhere where I can enjoy the rain and relax. Instead, here I am at work, looking at the week coming up and it’s very short. Tomorrow I have a lunch meeting and then I’m off for the day, heading home for a mini-break (“It can’t be just shagging, a mini-break means true love.”). No, it’s not that kind of mini-break, unless I get lucky and find some handsome, desperate man. Haha.
Nope Thursday I’m taking Emmy out for an Emmy/Moe day and the rest of the weekend is guard stuff. I’m going to try to get together with a couple different friends during the stay, but we’ll see how it goes. And Sunday brings on Mark and Jeff’s PRIDE party! WOOHOO!
I just need to focus. Ah…zen.
16 June 2006
So I was going to make a list of new favorites but I don’t want to take the time. So instead I’m just going to promote this quick site:
This is awesome…news updates every 10 minutes or so, color coded boxes appeal to me anal-ness, and look how pretty! :)
15 June 2006
So last night I broke all my own rules and actually spent the night on the town with fabulous friends. JB and MT and I went to the Twins/Red Sox game at the dome…others came too – Emily, Chris, Heidi, Rachel, Jared and Laura. I think I got them all.
Now, my friends know I’m not a fan of the Twins so that in itself was a feat. But I had a great time at the game. Here are a few moments I’ll remember:
- Around 25-30 young men and women swearing in to the US Army. (It was the 231st birthday of the US Army and Flag Day - very cool, even though I didn't get a flag)
- A man teaching his son how to put his hat over his heart during the National Anthem
- Dollar Dogs
- Watching for Chris
- The Upper Deck Home Run
- The Grand Slam
- Protecting Rachel from the fly balls coming no where near the upper deck
- Seeing the little boy in front of us do the same action JB was doing to protect Rachel from the fly balls coming no where near the upper deck.
- Two idiots running around the field – one losing his sandals, one running the bases and sliding into home, and the latter getting tackled by the Red Sox bat boy while all the other umps and players stood around watching doing nothing
- Cotton Candy!
- Riding in the sweet car
- Spending time with good friends
! . YAY
All in all a great night. I was way too tired this morning to work out, but what the hell, right?
14 June 2006
Oh and it’s Flag Day. What could be better than Flag Day? (“I’ve always made excuses for my drinking…Hey, it’s Flag Day!”)
So I think maybe today can be a day everyone can be happy. And do you know how you can be happy? Order THIS for you and yours…it’ll make you happy.
13 June 2006
So I’ve been bitter lately…not a good thing. And this morning as I drove to work and then again following a phone call from cah I realized why I’ve been bitter.
I don’t mind work, in fact, it’s a good thing since it keeps me away from mind-numbing things like tv or dvd’s or my bed. But I have been at work every day since after Memorial Day. In fact, Memorial Day was the only day in the past 2 months that I haven’t had anything going on. Before that, the last day I truly relaxed was the weekend of Chena.
I suddenly had the urge for a pop tart…trying to repress. Nope…gotta get something carb-y. one sec…okay I’m back.
Anyway, my next day off is this coming weekend, which is good, though there has been some hinting that with the big conference here that I may need to be available. Ugh. And that’s what makes me bitter. I don’t have the freedom, or at least I don’t feel like I have the freedom, to just take a day off when I want. I have to plan ahead – which is good as it gives me something to look forward to, but is bad because then I have to wait to take the day off when I may need it sooner. I’m not sure how to fix that.
Plus it’s my fault because I’m the one who does the schedule.
Oh well. Thank goodness I am taking a couple days off next week. I was supposed to do a make-up guard drill next Friday but I’m moving that to July instead and though I do need to stop out and do some photo stuff before the real June make up that Saturday and Sunday the rest of the day should be open – maybe hanging out with a friend or just vegging. And next Thursday I’ll be taking my niece out for our sara/emmy day. I think I’m going to take her out to the base to see the jets – maybe if we time it right we can see them take off, then the zoo and lunch and finishing up with Target so she can buy her b-day present with the gift card I gave her. I’m really excited for this day. It’ll be fun to spend the day with my little girl.
So that’s what I need to center on: Get through the days til then, count down to my time away, and focus on the goal.
12 June 2006
I intentionally don’t make eye contact with people whom I don’t want to talk to, not because they are bad people but because I know that if I do make eye contact and ask one little question, “How are you?”, that I will be inundated with information which I don’t care to know and I will lose 15 minutes of time listening to laments about things I would rather not listen to. And I should take the 15 minutes because is work really that important? I just don’t want to hear the story again and again. And so I’m a horrible person.
10 June 2006
Sometimes I feel guilty. Yes, I, a woman saved by grace and all that, feel guilty.
There are times, more often than not it seems, that I just don’t want to talk or listen to people. Why do they think I want to talk? First, I barely know them! And just because I’m sitting here, in a place where I cannot escape, trapped like a rat behind wood and technology, it means I want to listen and have a conversation - that I have nothing better to do? Do they think I really want to hear about their meeting traumas or the latest debacle in their internship/placement/class issues – all of course someone else’s fault? Do they really believe I know where everyone is at every moment of the day? Is it my problem that they now have to walk down to the post office a block away and have a package weighed and buy stamps there because we’re out because 20 other people expected us to do it for them too? And do they think I really care that people are dressed up for their events? People, do you have any idea how many events I’ve seen in the past 4 years and how so NOT excited it makes me anymore?
But all that doesn’t matter.
I know they just need to vent or are just trying to be nice.
And I feel guilty.
09 June 2006
It has been a very interesting week – full of emails and conversations that have changed and helped develop many different relationships in new ways. I was able to reconnect with an old friend and talk about how we came to be where we are today. I also had supper with a new friend and had her say some things that actually shocked me, but in a good way, if that’s possible. Then I also spent time with a current and continuing friend of pizza and rum/coke at Major’s followed by 2-hours of shopping. And through it all, email and phone conversations with my newest friend that helped us to understand our relationship and grow closer than I thought possible. It has been amazing.
The week has also brought some struggles with some work situations: Planning events with higher maintenance guests, sorting through the standard work crap, and trying to stay sane. Thank goodness for massages.
This weekend I hope to relax a bit between work shifts, clean out some clutter in the house and read. I need to read! It’s been ages. I did find a new book edited by David Sedaris that’s turning out to be a really good read. It’s a collection of short stories, which with the way my life has been going lately are just perfect to read at lunch or on the elliptical machine or for that 30 minute break at night before bed. Try it out! Enjoy!
07 June 2006
Okay…so I was going to audition for National Lutheran Choir this year. I was asked by Shaun and encouraged to do so by Debbie and Bekah, but a lot of the rehearsal and concert dates conflict with guard drills. Now sometimes these can be worked around, but the main ones were during paper months which just doesn’t work. Oh well…maybe next year.
06 June 2006
In spite of the muggy, hot weather, it doesn’t quite feel like summer yet. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had much time to enjoy it. You’d think I would feel that it is summer since I had winter twice and completely skipped spring, but I just can’t wrap my mind around it yet.
Maybe it’s just that summer has lost the summer feeling. I know I graduated and have been a true adult for two whole years now, so maybe it’s just the not having classes ending and the freed feeling from school and responsibility that I miss. Instead, life just keeps rolling along, work projects continue, and the seasons change without my knowledge.
Granted, I see it happening. I have picture windows across from my desk, but not being able to say screw it to work, take a mental health day, leave it all behind and play makes it seem like it's just a slow motion picture, watching one of those time-delayed cameras they use to show how the trees or flowers blossom in science films.
I miss the excitement of planning day trips to the lake or park, the taking off in the middle of the afternoon for a run with no timeline of when I need to be back, the enjoyment of going in and out of buildings just for the rush of the A/C to heat to A/C moments. I miss summer.
05 June 2006
Borrowed from Fluid Pudding
I AM: a mess.
I WANT: what/who I can’t have.
I WISH: life decisions were a little easier to make.
I HATE: being indecisive.
I MISS: my family and friends so far away.
I HEAR: Bob Dylan and a piano playing in the distance.
I WONDER: why I am the way I am.
I REGRET: a lot, unfortunately.
I AM NOT: mechanical, or often coherent.
I DANCE: only when I have been drinking.
I SING: not enough ‘professionally’, but a lot in my car on the way home.
I CRY: too often for an otherwise somewhat normal person – I am a sap.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: together.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: blankets, magnets, cookies, cupcakes, etc.
I WRITE: not enough in real life.
I CONFUSE: myself daily.
I NEED: to be touched, loved, wanted.
I SHOULD: get a life beyond work.
I START: projects, sentences, ideas.
I FINISH: when I’m good and ready.
03 June 2006
That’s all I can say.
Wait…no there’s more. I can always say more. I, apparently, have no end of words anymore. That’s another story.
So, WOW. I actually went out on a Friday night. Shocker, I know. But it was great. JB had texted (is that a word?) me about meeting today for coffee but I, of course, have to work all day. I don’t know who is doing the schedule these days but she’s starting to piss me off. Anyway, so I called JB up and we decided to get together last night. We went to the old KFAN place, whatever it’s called now, and had a lovely time. It was great to get together with her and chat up and vent out all sorts of issues and topics. So, thanks girl, I had a great time and I hope we can do it again soon. Maybe this time the couple will break up and actually go into separate cars like they are supposed to instead of driving off together. Weird.
Otherwise, I’m just back in the saddle again. Working my little head off – not really. I really don’t work that hard but people think I do. Well, there are times when I do work a lot, and I do have 3 projects, plus some minor reservations, which I’m avoiding quite nicely right now, but I am trying to motivate myself to do them – packets,
Oh and my secret may fall through due to some scheduling difficulties. I’ll know more next week.