12 April 2009

To be loved...

... you have to be lovable.

I think about this phrase a lot. It's one of those phrases that is constantly in my mind, and what I use to try to live my life. I try to be lovable - not in a way that demands people want to love me, but in a way that I want to help people and help them be happy - because when they are happy, then so am I. Negativity just drains me (and I can do that well enough on my own.)

There's a book, a quiz, a website - The Five Love Languages. What's interesting about this is that I've taken the quiz a few different times in my life (though I've never read the book) and I've had a different answer each time. Once I got the answer that I'm a gift person. Another time I like physical touch. Another it was Quality Time.

Which makes me wonder is there ever one specific way that people feel love? When I go the gift answer I had to chuckle, because truly I don't like receiving gifts (not when they are "expected" or "required" - if they are spontaneous because someone loves me, that's another story), but I do like giving gifts. I like to make other people happy, so I'm constantly finding things that would be good gifts for other people and I give them away for no reason.

But I remember when I took this quiz, I was trying to win the heart of a handsome man and when I said the answer was wrong because I actually prefer physical touch, he chastised me for our date a few weeks prior because I hardly touched him. Truth - I was super nervous and the whole PDA thing, and Military thing, and just fear of him pulling away from me at the slightest inclination of physical contact freaked me out and kept my hands at bay.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I'm just rambling as usual. Lots of things on my brain these days. I miss hugs. I used to get these at work all the time. Now with my new job I rarely, if ever, get hugs (I have to travel out of state for this to happen it seems). I miss that. I miss physical contact.

And the quality time thing...It is true. I do like quality time with those I care about. And as most of my friends are miles and miles and states away, that is a rarity too.

Maybe I'm just feeling alone today. Very probable. Good thing I'm going to the Cities tomorrow for a quickie trip - massage (physical contact), quality time (lunch with Keith and a date with Debbie), and gifts (presents for Debbie!). I'll be able to hit all three in the space of 6 hours. Hopefully that will recharge my batteries.


Mtanga said...

Ok, this is going to sound goofy, but get a pet! I am a super physical person and when my boyfriend of five years and I broke up (in the middle of winter, no less), the first thing I did was go out and get a cat.

She doesn't replace him in all things, of course, but it's nice to have something to pick up and cuddle when I get home from work.

Now, the shedding and yakking...that's different...! :)

~moe~ said...

Mtanga - I would totally get a dog if I could (I'm allergic to cats), but my apartment doesn't allow them. And I don't have a house yet, and turtles just aren't cuddly. :)