05 April 2009

Great wedding moments

At the church:
A conversation:
M: But they spelled altar wrong!
C: You'd think it would have been underlined in red on the word program.
M: Uh, no. Alter - as in alter your state - would still be correct.
C: Oh, that's right. Are you going to underline it now?
M: I would but I don't have my red pen with me.
C: (rummages in her handbag and produces a red sharpie)
M: Oh, sure. You have a red sharpie in your handbag, but when I asked you, a MOM, for a wet nap you had nothing.

A situation:
The typical Canon in D begins for the bride's entrance, the doors open, and nothing. We wait. There is giggling up front, but we couldn't see from where we were sitting. Suddenly through the windows to the back we see a woman come sprinting (well jogging really - she was in a dress and heels) with a bouquet in hand. Ah... the bride forgot her bouquet.

At the reception:

My date, LV, said, "This is great. I don't know any of these people. At 10 o'clock I'm going to do a table dance!" Nice... that won't hurt my job or anything. So we kept reminding him of that. Suddenly just before 10, C suggested to go to the bar instead of staying at the drunk fest. Dammit. We missed his dance. :(

LV counting for me while we danced. Funny thing was, when I stopped counting and just sang along with the song, I did much better. But the man can dance. I need to practice now.

Having dance wars with KC and MB - "Oh, we can't let them show us up." And MB watching the blonde on the TV, KC grabbing his ass, LV and I just laughing our butts off when we confronted them with it at the bar later. :)

Watching the groom removing the garter from the bride's leg with his teeth. That took a good 5 minutes and he had to remove her shoe to do so.

Seeing the brother of the groom with the garter on her head after he "won" it in the auction. Can I just say, "Ew."

LV dropping me at the door when we arrived, and leaving me at the door to go get the truck. Which led to MB trying to be chivalrous and feigning setting his coat on the snow for KC to step on. HA! And then trying to push her into the truck by her ass.

At the bar:
Blowing bubbles - seriously - as the guys covered their drinks.
Blowing bubbles so well that one of them lands in KC's drink. Score!
Watching the boys go to the bathroom together. Wait, what?!?
LV tapping out paradiddles (which I can't spell, let alone perform) on the table and MB saying, "Wait, do that again." "No, again!" :)
LV helping me into my coat.
LV holding the door for me.
LV walking me to my door. (Chivalry ain't dead, folks.)

1 comment:

Baritonality said...

I am so confused... I think I'm going to have to make up names to go with these initials. Could you give me genders, please? JK