My awesome friend Baritonality posted tonight about a situation in his life. I'll let you read it here first. Seriously, read this, then come back because this won't make sense otherwise.
Okay, welcome back.
So is it true? Do you think you have to give up something to be happy? I'm torn because in some ways I do think that it may be true, but in other ways I think that it's not.
My comment is there where I talked about moving from the cities and what I "gave up" to come here. But truthfully, what I gave up I haven't lost, it's just changed. My connection with the Cities isn't that I live there, it's that it's a part of me that I can't shake and for me to become rejuvenated to my true self I have to go back there.
So maybe it's not that we're giving things up, it's that we're changing it's form. We're recreating our situation and our lives so that we can be our truer, more full and complete selves.
I think about this with my life. I'm trying to recreate myself - become a more full and complete person. And there have been moments lately that I have felt very disillusioned on my path.
There have been fabulous moments where I have felt full and complete - brief moments that have come and gone and I miss them. I'm not sure how to get them back. Part of those moments involved other people and when I'm not able to connect with them as I did during those moments I start to feel less of a person.
I don't like that feeling. It's hard to overcome that, but I have to look beyond that moment and to the overall picture. My life has been enhanced with these various situations and even if they were fleeting, they are still part of what makes me who I am.
I'm rambling here again. I think I'm in a transition period in my life. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. But I was the one who initiated it so I can't really complain. And yet, I'm not sure that was the smartest move on my part. But I suppose if I don't start now I never will.
Oh, I know this is cryptic but not many people read this blog anyway so it's really just for me and I know what I'm talking about. Maybe though, if you ask nicely, I'll explain a little better sometime. :)