10 May 2008

Voices 10

This really has nothing to do with voices other than the voices in my head wishing I could be better looking and not look like crap.

I'm watching the Princess Diaries tonight. I love Larry Miller. He cracks me up. He plays Paolo in this movie where he makes-over Mia.

There was a lot of controversy (well, some) when this movie first came out - people complaining that it made it seem like only women with straight hair (not curls like Mia has originally) and women without glasses are worthy of being princesses (or something like that...I just remember the few stories about it).

Anyway, some of the things they do make me nervous - like plucking eyebrows (I probably should do this but I'm scared to start) and it seems everyone wears dresses all the time. Of course I'm not feeling the hottest today so that could be part of it. And it could be that Glamour says you should declare 90-days of being pant free - meaning you should wear dresses and show off those hot legs. And the fact that I haven't shaved my legs since the beginning of April (I know, "ew", but really...who's feeling my legs anyway? no one) and I haven't been running near enough makes me all the more nervous about trying to move into a dress regime, let alone shorts.

I would like to up the ante in my wardrobe though. Beege was talking about wardrobes where you have some basic pieces and build around them. My friend Grant used to talk about his sister and how she had built one of her sets of wardrobes around blacks and reds and anything in her suitcase she could make an outfit out of because everything went together. I had commented to Beege that I have a basic wardrobe - jeans and black t's.

It saddens me a little because I used to sort of dress up when I had my other job - I had to look at least professional. Not that I wore dresses because they weren't always practical in my job, but I at least wore more than jeans. In fact, in that job the only time I wore jeans was on weekends. Now I'm in them all the time - after work, weekends, any time I can.

But I miss dressing up. I need a make over. I remember reading once that Jennifer Aniston said she had to be taught fashion when she first became famous. I wish I could have that. Of course I want to lose like 20 some pounds first, but I really need help.

Of course I could dress up - I still have all my "dress shirts" that I bought the month before I was hired for my current job. Stupid me didn't return them and I have never worn them. So I could. Mark S (*sigh* - you can't say his name without sighing - trust me - K&E you know who I'm talking about - Scott's bro-in-law...*sigh*) ..anyway...he used to dress up on days when he had a lot to do. It was his strategy to keep him motivated and get work done. I tried it a few times and it really worked. Maybe I should try that again.

I mean, I look at these super cute spring and summer dresses in Glamour and Cosmo and other mags and I really wish I could wear those. I wish I could look sophisticated instead of a college kid. It's no wonder people think I'm 23 instead 33 as I am. Not that that's a bad thing, but if it's based on what I'm wearing, that's not good. I love my jeans and t's and I know I'll never get rid of them, but maybe I'm wearing them too much.

But truly - I want to learn how to style my hair. I want to wear dresses without feeling like I'm a fraud. Can someone really change? Mia does it, but of course that's Hollywood. Can someone like me - a lamo who wears a uniform and hair in a make-shift bun most of the week, and jeans and a low braid the rest of the week - can I learn how to dress better and look better? Can I wear dresses and look classy without feeling like a fraud?

My other fear: I have an opera I'm attending in a month and I have nothing to wear and I want to look hot. I'm scared I won't be able to pull it off. Not that the boys care what I wear - they've told me to be comfortable and one said I could even wear a pantsuit if I wanted - but I feel like I should dress nicer. It's an opera! And E! is wearing a tux. I want to look hot on his arm. Can I make it?

1 comment:

Mtanga said...

You seem to equate wearing dresses and styled hair as somehow being fraudulant to the "true" you. How could it be fraudulent if it's what you want to wear that day? What message are you sending yourself if you believe wearing drab clothes and boring hair are what you "truly" are? I don't believe that for a second, and I've never actually met you.

If you're sick of wearing a bun and/or long ponytail, switch it up! There's no demerits for changing things up every once and while.

You don't need a reason to wear pink suspenders beyond "Because I want to."