OH!

Here's something I was going to write about.

Last week I was talking with a co-worker who recently got engaged. She's trying to find a photographer and I gave a her a few ideas of local people and then told her if she really wanted to get the best she should hire Anna. I love Anna's work but I have no idea her pricing or where she's based out of. All I know is that if/when I get married I'm totally hiring Anna to take all my engagement/wedding/reception photos.

But (see tangent!) my CW asked me what my relationship status is currently. I hemmed and hawed and said I don't like to talk about it at work. It's not that I don't like her or don't want to share, but I just don't want to share. It's not that whatever my status is isn't important to me that I feel the need to hide it, it's the inevitable questions that follow and follow and continue to follow until you just want to smack people.

Because it's not questions from people I really care about or want to know all the intimate details of my life...it's questions from people I basically only know at work. So you get the question from Susie-May-down-the-hall, "So how long have you two been together? When are you going to get married? Has he met your family yet?" Blah blah blah...none of your business people!

But it's not just relationship. This happens to me with everything! I let slip to Deaner a few weeks back that I was training for the marathon - or attempting to train at the very least since I'm still extremely concerned for this event coming up in less than 2 weeks - and somehow the woman across the hall from him found out (they run together on occasion so I'm sure he told her).

Well, she asked me a few questions initially and I gave her a few answers hoping that'd suffice. But no. She came up to me today again, "So how's your running going? How many miles are you up to now?"

GUH. I don't want to go into my training procedures with her. It's my issue, not hers. (Only my trainer knows for sure!) So I just said, "Not as well as I'd like. Not as far as I should be. I don't even want to talk about it."

Which of course then triggered the, "Well your marathon isn't for awhile yet, so you have time to get your miles in."

Uh, no... it's in 11 days. "Well, it's coming up faster than I'd like considering my poor training this year but I'm going to run what I can and if I don't finish, then there's always another race." This is my mantra right now - or at least my saving grace because I really do want to finish.

What I hate about this is that I didn't want to give up this thought process my head is going through...especially not to Susie-May-down-the-hall. This isn't something I'm doing to try to impress other people or to make them feel sorry for me if I don't do as well as I want. This is MY goal. This is for ME and only ME. And having the feeling like I have to share what is mine is so unpleasant. It just left me feeling icky the rest of the day (luckily there wasn't much left).

I don't know. Some say you should share your goal because by telling others you have more people holding you accountable to your training and to completing your goal. It doesn't work that way for me. I have to tell as few as possible - the few I trust to tell me that I'm an idiot or I'm doing great or I should quit or I can make it. Those are the people I tell (and you, oh fabulous Internet - all 5 of my readers plus one stalker).

And those are the people I will tell how I finish. Sadly, I fear I'll get many questions when I return to work after the marathon. I'm not sure what I'm going to say. I guess it'll depend on how I do. :) Here's hoping for a great finish so I don't have to hide my head in shame.