Letter 28

Dear dentist (and doctor, for that matter),

I really hate going to see you. I know you do good work and it's important for me to have healthy teeth (Lord knows, my career organization is horribly anal about dental exams each year). But I really hate going to see you.

It's always, "Moe, you need to floss more." I hate flossing. I know I need to do it but I hate it. But today you gave me hope. Today the visit wasn't too bad (with a few moments of annoyance). Today you told me not to floss - at least on that side of my mouth. YAY! I wanted to laugh that it wouldn't be a problem but by the time you told me that I was so numb I could barely move my head.

The big bonus about having teeth work done - like cavities filled or crowns - basically anything with Novocaine - is that I have the option to use the gas. See, I really like getting the gas. I don't like the mark it leaves on my face afterward or the fact that it leads to large needles poking into my jaw and the numbness that lasts for hours following. But I really like the feeling.

I never smoked pot nor did any other recreational drugs so I've never had that feeling of getting high. But the gas really gives me the nice feeling of drifting away. I think it was truly the first time in months where I've been able to lie completely still, zone in on the music (the John Tesh show! - I'm surprised I didn't throw up..) and just be still.

That was an amazing feeling - I wasn't napping but I wasn't really awake either. I just was totally zoned out. That was, of course, until the fabulous dentist tools came out and then the taste of metallic whatever decides to find its way on to my tongue and down my throat, which finally left my mouth about an hour ago after my second bowl of ice cream.

That's my other beef - I hate coming to see you because I'm always afraid of eating afterward and today I desperately needed to eat. So I had pasta (mushy) and ice cream (mushy) and now I'm ready for bed. I hope I can eat crunchy things tomorrow. I guess I'll just eat on the other side of my mouth which I'm pretty adept at since I've been doing it since September.

Anyway, I do thank you, dear dentist, for the work you do on my mouth, my only request is for the gas even during basic cleaning sessions. I think I'd enjoy them more and not want to hurt you too much every time you tell me to floss more.

Thanks.