day 25

I just realized that I passed the whole “21 days makes a habit” mark a few days ago. Pretty cool…so how did I celebrate last night? By having two 1 inch long, 1/8 of an inch thick French fries and they didn’t taste good. YAY! carolann and I met Kevin at figlio’s after our pedi’s and his haircut. Had a drink (I’m becoming a lightweight not having k&e to drink with more frequently and lord knows, I can’t drink at home because that’s SO not a good sign to drink alone), had 2 mini burgers (which really weren’t mini – I shudder to think of what their regular burger size would be) without the bun, of course, ...actually just ate the meat (probably good since I was needing some red meat) and the 2 fries. Yes 2! I was happy to note that the fries weren’t that good (actually they were delicious but I’m telling myself they were gross) but they were the perfect size. I at one point handed them to carolann so she could have them by her because, it wasn’t that I was hungry for them, but they were in front of me and I’ve learned that if I’ve eaten I just need to move what I’m not going to eat to the other side of the table or put it away – out of reach so I’m not tempted to ‘eat because it’s there’.

I have been impressed with me that I can just turn away at bread and pasta and stuff. I don’t crave it really anymore. I’m still loving chocolate, I don’t think I could give that up so thank God for the sugar free stuff. That’s been the surprising thing on this lifestyle change (not a diet…can’t call it a diet)…though I ‘can’t’ eat the things I normally used to I’m still finding things I like to eat with ease. It’s great. I’m learning to enjoy salad again. I’m learning to appreciate string cheese and veggies. Celery and PB are my friends again – and I’m not really getting bored (though I know I’ve said that a lot lately). It’s really not that bad. I think when I can go back to more carbs and I use my carbsense stuff instead, I’ll still feel better overall. I’m starting to get energy back now that my body has adjusted to the eating plan so jogging at night isn’t as bad as it would have been 2 weeks ago. Interesting. It’s kind of humbling but exciting all at the same time.

It’s funny to note that a week ago I was referring to myself as a 6 or 7 year old getting humored by my parents for wanting this unattainable goal. There have been moments this week, like when I was looking at my goal (k – you know the one) hanging by my closet this morning even, where I’m thinking I’ll never be small to fit into that. But it’s time to get over that. Not that I won’t still have those thoughts, because hell that’s just human nature in this day of age, but I just have to keep reminding me that it has been 25 days only. I have a while to go. It’s that whole instant gratification people want today which sucks. Just have to suck it up and actually work for something for once.