05 November 2009

Laughing on the inside

So I was just thinking how I haven't written consistently in several months but now that I am for NaBloPoMo everything is gushing out. It's like a valve opened and all these things I've been dealing with and thinking about are spewing out.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's funny that it takes this month for it to happen. Maybe if I had been doing this for the last few months I wouldn't feel like such a mess as I do right now. :)

So today's dilemma. I have an opportunity to go to Hawaii with my work for two weeks in January. Now any normal person would jump at this opportunity. I, however, being so very not normal, am hesitating. I don't know where I would work (I have a few department options), I don't like how it's set up (we leave before a holiday weekend thusly shortening our first work week), and it just isn't feeling right.

MS thinks I'm nuts and that if my job is going to throw me a bone I should snatch it up and not worry about it. I don't want to be "that" girl though. I don't want to just take a boondoggle like this one and justify it that I deserve it because I work hard and I've never been compensated. I've gotten to go to Turkey, Israel (Jerusalem even), Alaska. I've had good trips, albeit short ones.

Part of my hesitation is the work factor - what would I do there. If I'm just going to file I might as well stay home - I have enough of my own filing to complete. But it's also my work here at home. I get so many emails in one day that being gone for two weeks scares me. The week after playing catch up sucks. I've done it and I hate it. I never get caught up so I'm perpetually behind.

But going to Hawaii would be awesome and MS could probably make it work to come over during the same time and could show me around since he used to live there. It would be awesome place to visit and is on my to-do list.

It just all seems fishy. So I get to sleep on this one tonight, talk to my boss tomorrow and make a decision. It should be a no-brainer but for some reason my brain is holding me up right now.


jb said...

you're crazy! go!!

jinxygrrl said...

You need to jump on this. Just think of it as an adventure and, possibly, something you might not get to do again. GO!

kendi said...

I agree with the others. This is too good not to grab. Go!