Tonight I went to the Ash Wednesday service. It was nice. I kept thinking about a post K had written maybe last year or the year before. It's pretty powerful when you hear the words. I kind of wish I would have been part of the service helping do the imposition of ashes...saying those words "remember you are dust and to dust you shall return" is incredible - it's incredible to just hear them.
It made me think about funerals and such. As my regular readers know I recently finished the Six Feet Under series (which I still have yet to mail to you K&E - hopefully NLT Monday) and they talk a lot about death and life throughout the episodes, natch.
The most prominent part that really stood out for me was the last funeral. Being in the job I am thinking about your funeral plans is kind of second nature...sometimes. You are constantly aware that you could be put in danger at anytime that could be potentially life-ending. It's not that we're morbid but we like to have our affairs in order. I got talking about this a couple weeks ago with some co-workers and it turns out one is on even ground with me - we would both like a green funeral - kind of like the last one in the series (I'm not going into depth just in case people haven't seen it yet).
I'm all for a military burial but do that and bury me under a shady tree, just me and a shroud and the ground. Plant daisies in the soil; place a flat, inscribed rock stating I am there. But just give me back to the earth. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
Plus - I want it to be a celebration of my life...not some down in the dumps kind of thing. Remember if you switch the letters around in "funeral" you get "real fun"!
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My HMF and I have (surprisingly) had this conversation in depth. He finds cemetaries to be a waste of space; I find them a nice green peaceful place to go remember my loved ones (then he had to go and ask me the last time I'd actually BEEN to the cemetary...so, one point to him, I guess...)
But, I like the idea of a pine box and a simple service and a small tombstone to some how 'mark' my place here. I DON'T want my body pumped full of embalming fluid. Ick. Just let me melt slowly back to the earth and nourish her.
Anyway, in his culture, the incinerating of bodies and spreading of ashes are much more acceptable. in his eyes (and I'm totally paraphrasing here) tmbstones get decreipt, get mossy, get forgotten - and that's depressing. It's much better to let your ancestors go and remember them through your daily actions. (Fine. That's another point.)
But how would I remember him? I asked. He smiled as he informed me, "Well, of course, widows are expected to throw themselves on the pyre!" oh hardy har...
I told him I'd use his ashes for the litterbox if he wasn't careful!
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