It's been kind of a crappy week. I thought today was going to be better but ... well, no.
Let's see, the basics. I have a sharp pain in my shoulder that I can't figure out. When I breathe in and my chest expands it hurts and to add to it I have a little sharp pain at the bottom and under my left rib cage. It's weird. I thought maybe I slept wrong or wore the wrong bra too many days in a row (poor support + annoying breasts = bad sagging and pain) but I don't think either of those really is the problem. Oh well. It'll go away.
Then I started the day freaking out about a project that I was never sure if I was in charge of or if my former work section was. We had a deadline of May 30 to submit some items which we missed. So I emailed the point of contact to see if we could still send it in and then headed to my meeting where I was going to have to own up to the responsibility that I wasn't sure if I had it or not. On top of that, two weeks ago I had tried to get the head guy from my former work section to take this on and, once I got him to listen to me and stop critiquing the pictures in the previous edition of the project, I tasked him to accomplish two things the week I was on vacation: get a picture of Eddie (I'd write up the item on him) and to pull the items on the two guys from VM (I'd tweak the next week).
Well, after I sent the POC of the overall project this morning I also emailed the one full-timer in my former work section...let's call her NJ...to see the status of the two tasks I had put forth. I went to my meeting and I explained the situation and what I was still hoping to accomplish. Hours later (after I had been told by the project POC that we were too late and couldn't submit anymore) NJ wrote back and said her and the guy I tasked originally had talked about it and decided amongst themselves that they didn't have time for this and pushed it off their table.
Pissed. Me. Off.
First I was pissed because the guy didn't have the courtesy to tell me that it wasn't going to happen. Then, I took full responsibility this morning with Oscar (who was really pushing for this to get done) because I felt I had dropped the ball not following up soon enough last week. Eddie's gone now so we couldn't have gotten it done anyway.
But when I got this email back from NJ, I was so pissed. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I'm not in this section anymore and I shouldn't be the POC for these projects. If I am going to be the main point of contact for these situations and projects than I really wish Boss1 would tell me this directly. It was kind of assumed but not really assumed and I wasn't sure how much to do. Plus I'm not sure how much I should be doing in this section anymore. Oscar agreed and we talked about the situation and trying to figure out who's really in charge. I need to talk to him more before he or I or both of us goes to Boss1. shit.
The bad thing is that this section is really weak right now which pains me (maybe this is the real cause of my shoulder and ribs). We could be (should be) doing so much more and instead I keep hearing, "We don't have time for this." "We can't do this." Those words should not be in our vocabulary. This job in particular is not a 9-5 job. It's a 24-7 job. It's just one of those sections. But it's not treated that way and it drives me nuts.
When I was in the section I was constantly working (even from 4 hours away). It seems to have fallen to the wayside of importance since I've moved out and I hate that. I'm not sure how to fix it though or even if I can. Can you fix attitudes of people? Especially of two people who have their own agendas? One just wants to be promoted. The other wants promotion and to hardly work. Wait...that's really both of them. But if they don't get the credit for something, then they get pissed. Or if they aren't selected for something- a trip, an award, a reward - then they get pissed and rant and rave about how no one appreciates or understands what their job is. But when you give them the opportunity and TASK them to actually do their job and all that comes back is, "We don't have time for this." It just... UGH!
It fcuking pisses me off. Sorry...but this is how mad I am.
Oh, and I'm drinking for the first time in weeks (not counting the wine I had with K&E). I just don't drink but tonight I'm so mad that I need something.