Mondo Beyond via my Superhero

Bear with me a little here because this will hopefully be a introspective post.

The fabulous Andrea celebrates Mondo Beyondo instead of resolutions. I like this idea and so I'm going to try this this year. This section is completing. Here we go:

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
I kept my promise to run the TC marathon. This was both a challenge of my courage and strength as well as a brave choice. I'm very proud of this (and now want to do better)! I also left my stifling, soul-sucking job (not truly but moments it felt like this) and began one that has fulfilled me and made me very happy, even in times of stress and struggle.

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?
One thing to grieve is Art. I do miss him. On a personal level: I'm disappointed in some of my emotional reactions to situations: one person said it's because I'm so passionate and compassionate, but in truth the emotions I showed were inappropriate and wrong. Scary was leaving my urban home to return to the land of flatness. Hard has been dealing with living so close to Mom and feeling smothered and not sure how to express those feelings to her without making her feel like it's all her fault or upsetting her. I'm not sure I can forgive myself yet for some of these and other things, but I am working on it.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

I need to realize that while last year was an incredible year, I need to work hard to continue and improve. Things I screwed up, things I succeeded at – they are all in the past. This year starts anew. I can learn from my experiences, but that knowledge needs to guide me in my next steps.

I'm declaring 2007 complete! Of course, some of my issues still need to be said – I need to forgive myself but that will take a bit longer and maybe a post somewhere where no one reads it, despite Andrea's suggestion to share with others. I know if I stated things I'm thinking about that my friends would tell me to forgive myself, but that won't work in this case. I'll get there.

2008 is my year of cleansing: I want to declutter, depaper, declothe my storage and apartment space – throwing, recycling and goodwill-ing so I can feel (and be!) freer and more relaxed. I also want to cleanse my head of negative thoughts about myself. I know this may not ever completely happen, but I need to realize that while I most likely won't run a marathon in 3:15, I could run it in 5 and that's okay (the fact that I'm out there doing it is amazing and that needs be the driving force to push out the bad thoughts that sneak in); that I will never be 125 pounds, but I can get to 135 or 140 and this is doable if I focus and keep on task as I eat or not eat; and that while I'm single, this isn't a bad thing and I will meet someone when the time is right.