Her comments today made me think about my own birthday. I've never been one to really celebrate. Okay, wait, let me rephrase. I used to be a big "me me me" day kind of girl until the year my brother was in the hospital and my birthday consisted of a card from him and my sister and a spring coat from mom and dad. It was then that I realized that what my dad had been saying all those years really was true, "It's just another day."
I never had a coming out party or a Sweet-16 party. (Of course, let's be honest. I never went to or ever had any kind of party in high school.) When I turned 21 I had to close at work and did go out for a few drinks after - of course that was with a co-worker and not my boyfriend because he didn't want go out, even for one drink. When I was 22 I was at basic training and got to shoot an M-16 that day (talk about a party! woohoo!). Last year I made cupcakes on my birthday because I that was what I wanted to do (I had found a cool recipe to make bluebird nesting cupcakes, very fun). This year I was at a conference, recovering from being sick and came back and worked for a few hours (which I later found out I wasn't supposed to do). One of my friends felt badly for forgetting my birthday that he gave me three cards to make up for it. Funny man.
In college, my friend and I bonded completely and forever when we both discovered we didn't like to do the public displays of birthdays. So when it was choir time and they sang happy birthday to everyone I would vehemently deny that it was birthday and she would back me up, and vice versa. Now I send her flowers on an off day just for fun. She sends me cards on random Tuesdays. Instead of picking one day of the year to celebrate each other because it was destined by fate, we prefer to celebrate each other all year long.
And maybe that's my thing. I got annoyed with birthday's because it never seemed to be about what I wanted. I would have friends come up and say, "We need to go out and party tonight because it's your birthday!" And I would think, and sometimes say, "I don't like to party like that and I would rather just stay home, so why?" They would get mad and tell me I was spoiling their fun because they wanted to celebrate me. Well, if you want to celebrate me, shouldn't we be doing what I want? Celebrate me and let me go home and curl up on the couch and watch My Blue Heaven or Friends. Or come over and bake cookies or cupcakes with me. Or offer to do my laundry. Don't instill on me your definition of fun. How is that celebrating me?
I will say, one of my favorite birthday's was when my friend wanted to celebrate me and she asked me what kind of fun things I would like to do. At the time I was learning to knit so I said I wanted to learn how to purl. So we had a Purling Party. She made dinner (chicken, of course), my favorite cake (unbeknownst to me, but a super fun surprise) and it was a very small, low-key evening. For the longest time I didn't think the other guests knew but then they gave me earrings and taught me to purl so I was very happy. It was nice because it was what I wanted. And that's how birthday's should be. Celebrate yourself.
My birthday is pretty low-key. I'm okay if people "miss" it, because I know that people have lives outside of mine. I'm not the center of the universe, despite what my head sometimes tells me. And if you want to celebrate me - do it anytime - there's no need to wait for a specific day. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment