Frightening

I went to bed at 8 last night. It was odd but I was tired and since I wasn't getting together with anyone else I figured I might as well just go to bed.

I've had a weird month in my social life. Ups and downs, confusion and contentment, questions and some answers. It's been going okay and I'm a pretty understanding person. I was going to type easy-going, but I probably am on the outside, but when I sit in my office alone or, especially, my apartment alone and I start to think, then I'm not so easy-going.

Dating is not an activity I understand. To me if you like someone you spend time with them. But apparently there are rules and issues with that. You can show someone you like them, but not too much. You can tell someone you like them, but not too soon. Those parameters are what I don't get.

I was going to hang out with LV last night, I thought. We didn't have anything set in stone because the weekend was pretty crazy. So I called when I was heading down to Lisa's but never heard anything. That wasn't surprising since LV is pretty considerate and wouldn't interfere if I have something else going on. So I called on my way home...no answer, no call back.

My sister had made the comment last night that maybe I scared LV away. Great...like I don't already have self-esteem and confidence issues in the world of dating as it is, now she needs to throw that in my face. So I said, "Probably. That seems to be the way my life goes." I kind of laughed it off, but in the alone world of my apartment last night and this morning now, I wonder if I did. Did I say something wrong? Did I suggest the wrong thing? Did I ask too much? Do I expect too much? Probably.

And then again, maybe it's nothing. Maybe things are fine. Maybe it's just me and my paranoia and neurotic tendencies bringing out the real Moe. I don't know.

The good thing is that I can't sit around the computer all day waiting for a response since KC and I are going shopping for SBK's wedding this weekend. I asked KC if she'd help me with my hair on Saturday since I'm a ponytail girl and that probably isn't the best option for a wedding. She got all excited like she has a new doll to dress up. We're going dress shopping today and she spent some time Friday night online finding dress options for me. Should be interesting. But it's something to occupy my time since I can't go into work.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see how the day goes.