ericjay - thanks for your comments. I know you get this via RSS so just so you know I'll be responding to your email and comment soon.
I'm still really torn on this whole respect issue. Today I'm seeing a show at the Guthrie and I walk in and lo-and-behold one of my former chaplains is standing in front of me. Now, the respect issue is immediately at hand - not only on how do I address him but do I even have respect for him? He got really slimy towards the end of his career so I'm not a big fan.
So I called him by his first name. Twice (because of course he's staying at the same place I am!).
Now I'm feeling a bit bad about this, and yet because of who it was I'm not. Does that make sense?
After I posted the original R-E-S-P-E-C-T post I really wanted to talk to one of my friends who is in a higher position than I am. I call her by her first name, sometimes her title only, but not her full title and last name. But again we also have a different working relationship. I knew her and worked with her before she moved up in the chain, but now after my ranting about this I feel bad that I don't show her the proper courtesy. Of course, sometimes when I do she dope slaps me so I really don't feel too bad.
But when we were driving home on Friday I really wanted to ask her what she thought about the whole thing. And I think I need to, especially in light of my continuing confusion and the great comments you folks have given.
Hopefully I'll come to some good answer. :)