Work today was intense. I literally, at times, ran from one meeting to the next. I was eating lunch while helping people with computer problems (which, if you know me, you'd know the latter part of that sentence is damn funny). I was checking email during trainings so I could keep up with the various things going on throughout the day. And at the end of the day, during our retirement party, I was yelled at for the content of our morning meeting.
Well, "yelled" might be a rough term. Boss3 "constructively criticized" our morning meeting because we did some quick (but insanely boring)training during it. "Training is not for the morning meeting, Moe; that needs to be done during an actual training time."
Initially I fell in to the defensive mode and every time I did I kept thinking of this woman in our section who will do that and rise up on her hind legs and get ready to fight, even if she knows she's in the wrong (especially when she knows).
So I would calm myself down quickly and really listened to what he was saying, and as we continued we talked about other and probably better options for the future. What kills me is he's right, and worst of it - I asked him if I was becoming "mom" and he said yes.
Dammit. This is what I wanted to avoid. I don't want to be Mom to these people. They need to be self-sufficient. I have other crap to deal with, I can't be holding their hand every step of the way.
So I'm working on a plan and he and I are going to sit down to do this better, and we're going to incorporate another section as well, because their morning meeting is as bad as mine, except they have "Dad" and he doesn't know it.
I thanked him when he left - and he said, "you're thanking me for yelling at you?" I said, "No, thank you for helping me."
Truth, I want to be better at my job and I've fallen into the same traps that I wanted to avoid when I first took the job. My predecessor used to start each morning meeting with what was for lunch that day. I stopped that right away, because I hated that when I was on the other side of the podium. I haven't brought that back, but I'm doing worse.
So, I'm making a plan. And I'm going to work with Boss3 tomorrow and next week. Changes will be made. I want to improve and I can't do it unless I move forward and take that chance. That's the only way I can be better than I am.