Chaos Theory

Over the past few months there have been a series of changes happening within my life – work, personal, spiritual. It’s been scary at times, but overall in the end it has been for the best. Of course, it’s hard to see the best in the outcome while the change is still occurring.

See, I’m still going through these changes – man, it sounds like I have menopause or something. Or maybe I’m just pms-y since all this is impacting me pretty hard today. But I’m on a committee which desperately needs change and I see that and want to do it, but I need help from others as well. My fear is that while the changes need to be made and I want to help incorporate those changes that the wrath of others will be detrimental – perhaps not just to me but to the changes and newness being created. People here ‘fear change’ (to quote Garth Algar) and when someone like me comes in and wants to make change people then resent that person. (Does that make me Rob Lowe?)

Change is good though. I believe it. I live it. Of course it scares the bejeesus out of me as I do it but it’s good to have change. Otherwise you get in a rut. And a rut isn’t good.

My friend spoke of this on his blog the other day, but I’m going to quote him here as well: “…there are actually lives transformed through gathering experiences. i believe it is actually because it is time broken away from our everyday lives that there is transformation. and this makes me wonder if it is at all possible for our lives to be impacted in ways we would readily recognize if the changes didn't make us alter our routine.”

Ah, there it is…routine. I LOVE routine. I am a military girl and routine is what it’s all about. And when the routine is altered, that means something’s wrong. But how do you break away from that?

I think LA has it right: “. in order to break out of the rut we have to have our lives interrupted. events (like the gathering) can be interruptions that lead to positive spiritual transformation in our lives. … our lives are often filled with chaos and grace. it is navigating between them that seems to make life the experience it is. chaos and grace were there at the beginning of creation as ruach moved across the waters.”

The trick now is to get others to understand this. The fear of change runs rampant across these waters. And the path ahead is full of brambles.

Pictures? We don't have no stinkin' pictures!

The last week is now a blur – a blur of goodness and happiness and just pure fun, not to mention some stress and tension. But first – a picture:

Here is JB sitting at my table I found when I cleaned a couple weeks ago. Look, Ma! I’m eating at a table again! Not just at a table, but an actual meal! Not just eggs in my yellow chair! WOOHOO! Quite a step up to adulthood, I think. (yes, it's about time, I know.)

Anyway... :)

It was the 60^th Anniversary of my base last week. We’re working on a special edition of the paper we put together and 4 days was spent trying to track down who the SEA’s were and in what order they served, finding our commander’s and begging for a letter of thanks, scanning in photos, and sorting through history to put this paper together. It’s not done yet. It’s not even close, but I’m working on it. Each day we get a few more items to finish it off. I can’t wait. It’ll be great – it better be great or I’ll be ticked - I can’t wait for it to be finished.

Mixed in with all that I spent time catching up with fabulous people. Wednesday night I hung out with a great friend whom I hadn’t seen in awhile. Thursday I hung out with another great friend I hadn't seen since Christmas: Tre. She braided my hair for me. YAY! I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but seriously this was the first time I had EVER had my hair braided. Growing up with the short, short pixie style hair (usually permed no less…yes I did look like Annie on occasion) didn’t allow the braids to be an option.

Braids from the front – don’t I look cute? (go Ireland!)

Braids from the back – SWEET! I had always longed for this, and now I can do it! WOOHOO! Plus, this turned out to be mucho needed since the wind was wicked and the heat almost unbearable as we’re running around during the Air Show. It was an awesome event, I will say. Lots of fun.

Okay. I know you’ve all been waiting so here it is. Now is the time for the ever-waited-for pictures of pies: The first was here. The second is here:


The third is here:

The fourth is here:

And the fifth (and maybe final) is here:

Which do you think is best?

By the way, I’m not going to quit making the pies. I enjoy it too much. I just have to make sure to give them away. I can’t handle all that on my hips. EEK! Next step: cherry pie. Then maybe lemon meringue or raisin cream – I’ve had some requests and I actually did find a recipe for the raisin one. I didn’t think I would. Crazy.

And the obsession continues...

Yes, I can’t get away from it. I made another pie Saturday. So that’s pie number 4 and I think the best one yet. Not as goopy, crust much better (but still need a bit o’ work) and it looked the prettiest. I’m taking pictures (to document it – just call me barry) but of course they aren’t developed yet. Another week, then you can see what they all look like. But that’s not all…I made yet another pie, yes, pie number 5, today. The crust looks great but I haven’t tried it yet. I will and we’ll see how it tastes.

But seriously: What the hell is wrong with me? This is the last one, I swear. I took pics of this one, too, but it’s the last one. I have to quit. My pants won’t fit anymore if I keep going.

I also gave up popcorn…again. I did! Really! I had half a bag left of ODCP, which I had bought in honor of my friend’s b-day, and I threw it away. Yep…just threw it away and gave it up, cold turkey.

Now I’m sad.

*sigh*

No, I’m okay. I don’t need the popcorn to be happy. I have other reasons to be happy. Anyway, I need to get back on SB – and Phase 1 will return next week (after the air show and 4 days of guards - ugh the horror of the food!). And this is all appropriate since about a year ago I started SB. See my other blog for that one.

Otherwise, I’ve also been taking photos of roses. Rainbow had a dozen on sale for $7 last week and to treat myself I decided to pick up some. They are the best flowers I have ever had. The opened up, they’ve stayed beautiful, and I love them. The textures of them were just great. If I had had a better camera I may have been able to pick those up more.

AND I bought a plant. The campus center folks decided to get rid of the contracted plants and trees and have them done in-house. I begged and begged to keep Herman and Elizabeth (pictures to come – see above) but to no avail. I broke down and bought Herman and I continue to pray and knock on wood each day that he won’t die. I love him!

So I’m becoming domesticated, I guess. What a weird feeling.

OCD girl

Yes, I am obsessed with some things (mostly food, it seems): Mini Coopers, Old Dutch Cheese Popcorn, tgft, chicken, Lime Tostitos and of course baking with precision.
The precision is essential, because you (read: I) can’t promise the best chocolate chip cookies ever and then start messing with the recipe and making them taste different. Once you find that niche you must stick with it. I have accomplished the precision with these such cookies, as well as the PB crackles with Dark Chocolate kisses. Now, my obsession has turned to apple pie.

As you read earlier, I made my second ever apple pie on Saturday. The first was back in November and my third was last night. (Pictures to be posted once I get my throw-away developed) Pies can be finicky, especially if you’re making the crust yourself, which I am, because I just don’t like the taste of store bought crust and because I secretly strive to be Martha Stewart, but nicer. Besides I used store-bought for my mini-pies and they just didn’t turn out as well. (note to self: must try the mini pies again sometime soon) Last night’s pie turned out okay, except I had trouble rolling out the crust this time. I’m not sure why but I couldn’t get it to roll out. Grr. Plus once I did, I didn’t have enough to cover the pan and so I had to piecemeal it together. It worked and it tastes fine, but not quite like I’d like it to be.

So…of course that means I have to keep making apple pie until I can get the consistency right and have the precision with it that I want (i.e. being able to make it almost without thinking). Now I just need to find a handsome man to eat all these pies, because Lord knows, I can’t afford them on my hips. Anyway, anyone have any suggestions?

Thank you, Anonymous!

This weekend was great. Seriously. Even though I was sick, things couldn’t have been better. Well it could have been but that wish is on hold right now. Anyway…

So Friday after work I went home about 5, crawled my sorry ass into bed and slept til 7. I woke up with a start, thinking it was morning and I was late for work. Luckily, that wasn’t true, so I got up and curled up in my chair and watched a movie. After that I was feeling a little better so I finished filing my magazine articles I had been ripping out all week and then went to bed again. Saturday was Productively Super! I washed clothes, I swapped my desk and table around (so I can actually eat at my table instead of just using it to hold mail and junk!) and even washed my floors. This I had almost all completed before 1pm. I’m even amazed at myself.

So once I had all that done, I decided to be Becky HomeEc-y and make a pie. I even made the crust and I must say, if I do say so myself, it was a damn good pie. Apple, of course, and the crust was even flaky, like I like.

JB came over around 5 and we grilled chicken and had supper. Then in our usual style we tossed back and forth the responsibility of figuring out what we were going to do next. We decided to stay in and watch a movie – a typical Moe evening. :)

Sunday was very relaxing. I went to church, then sat outside as recommended for about an hour. I was starting to burn so I thought it best to move back indoors. I basically reverted to my youth as I read all day long, taking breaks only to refill my glass of tea or blow my nose. Around 5 (maybe 5 is the witching hour!) I made up my breakfasts for the week and had supper – again at my table. What a concept! Then I did something I had done in quite awhile…while watching yet another movie, I began knitting a blanket. YAY!

The knitting is significant. My friend Debbie asked me if I would knit lap blankets for the residents at the home where she works. I, of course, agreed because I love to knit and it’d be a nice way for me to give back a little. Plus it’s a great stress reliever for me and soothing work. I’m very excited about it.

So my weekend was great – quiet and just about perfect. My cold is almost gone…I’m down to just a cough and occasional sniffle. Not bad, really. Maybe if I had tried the chicken soup I'd be over this now. Oh well, anyway.

Anyone have a Kleenex?

Vacations are good. They are revitalizing, rejuvenating and relaxing. Usually. But then the inevitable ‘return to work’ moment arrives and you can feel your body tense up with the thought of the pile of work waiting for you. The pile of work can be taken care of quite rapidly, only if you’re not sick on top of it all. And, unfortunately, I am sick.

Somehow over the space of my awesome weekend I caught a cold. It started Tuesday night with a sore throat – I thought that was just from the awful salt & vinegar Pringles (which apparently you can buy here), I ate on the way home, but it stayed through Wednesday and added sniffing, sneezing and aching, with the occasional cough. I ignored it, thinking it to be allergies, but no…it has stayed with me pounding through my head and filling Kleenexes as fast as I can grab them. It hasn't helped that the OCC is colder than Antarctica either. I took some NyQuil last night to help me sleep, which did help me sleep – right through my alarm! I slept well, except I feel worse today than I did yesterday. What is going on?!

Summer colds are the worst. I sit at my desk with the glorious picture windows in front of me showing the beautiful weather, the sun shining, the birds smacking into the windows, kids playing outside, and all I feel is miserable. Oh well…I’ll fight through the day and then go home, finish cleaning and go to bed early. That should help, right?

Look! A parade for my birthday!

These photos are a bit fuzzy. I need a new camera! Something more than a point, click and throw away. Grr… The first is Granny and Jake heading to ‘his’ parade. Then Jake took off running to his cousins. Running in flip flops, no less. Almost as bad as running with scissors.

Back from SoDak

Holy cow…I think this is probably the most time I’ve taken off in a long time that wasn’t completely guard related. Granted the first one this month was guard related a bit, and this most recent one was also a bit guard related, but mostly was a true vacation.

Jake had his 3^rd birthday on Saturday. It was also our hometown’s 125^th Anniversary, so of course there was a parade. Jake was super cute, running down the street yelling, “They’re having a parade for my birthday!” Yeah, you betcha kid. Just don’t expect this next year. And being a typical small town SD parade, of course we had firetrucks and horses and tractors. Quite exciting for us all. Art was the Grand Marshal for the parade. Very cool. After the parade it was time for lunch at the moe house. Lots of food – mamwich, chips, tuna noodle salad (not my favorite), watermelon, and strawberries. Oh and of course the relish tray. It wouldn’t be a Norwegian party without a relish tray. The only things we were missing were red jell-o with fruit cocktail, those cocktail party mints – multi-colored of course, and the nut bowl. :)

Presents were opened and Jake got his Thomas the Tank Engine cake. Jake turned blue after eating all that frosting. Not sickly blue or choking blue – just blue, and of course he rubbed it all over his head. We almost had a Smurf theme instead.

But we all played and played. It really was a good day. After everyone left but Emmy, Zach and mom and I, we played TrakBall – a game we’ve had for years around the house. (the link isn’t a picture of us but the only thing I could find on the ‘net showing trakball) It’s a really old game – with plastic rackets, which kind of look like scoops. The object, if you really think games need an object, is to pass the ball back and forth without dropping it. The plastic ball does hurt if you get hit with it though. Mom and I were playing Sunday night and it bounced off her racket right on her nose at one point. Eek. I thought she was really hurt but when I got to her she was laughing so hard it was hard to tell if the tears were from the pain or from the idiocy of it all. And what a trooper – we kept playing after she iced it for a bit. Crazy lady.

Other highlights from the weekend:

• Dinner Friday night with an awesome friend
• Seeing SuFuDu perform
• Going to Sioux City to see Mikey in Joseph – he played a pretty awesome Pharaoh, if I do say so myself
• Eating at Texas Roadhouse – oh the bread! Mmmm
• Hanging out at base watching the flyovers, taking photos of folks working on the holiday weekend – this is why we’re the best ANG in the country
• Spending lots of time with mom – walking!, talking, hanging out
• Seeing folks from the past I haven’t seen in a while – Eric, Steve, MaryAnn, Bobby, Shawn, etc.

It was definitely one of the best weekends. And now I’m back at work. Yep. Back to work.

Twins fans, with the photo taken by a non-Twins fan

Jillian, Heidi, Megan and Chris

To be young again

Last week was the infamous Emmy Day where I took my niece out for a day of just her and me. This was in lieu of a birthday gift in April since I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what to get her. But it ended up being a gift to both of us. Being able to spend 10 non-stop hours with a 6-year-old helps one appreciate the beauty of life.

We started off at my guard unit watching the F-16s take off. Emmy is pretty shy so she didn’t talk much until we got back to Morty. Then we went to the zoo. This was fun for me since I hadn’t been there in a long time, but the penguin exhibit left a lot to be desired. I hope they’re just doing construction to improve it because it was nothing like what I remembered it to be.

Emmy wanted to play mini golf so we did that too. And shopped at Target for her real b-day gift. AND played on several playgrounds. AND we ended the day having dinner with her mom, my sister, which was great for all of us. A full day, truly.

The day really helped me to appreciate youthfulness and the ability to just go with the flow and accept every moment for what it is, and treasure it as it happens. The season is long, as K said once, but time is precious. I think that’s a point K made too – there is time to do things like this: taking your niece out for the day, making a call to a friend, stopping and having coffee even if you do have a pile of tasks on your desk. There IS time to do these things and we should be doing these things. Because a big key to life is that it is precious.

And to continue on the life is precious moment, I’m heading home again this weekend to spend time with the whole family for Jake’s 3^rd b-day and Baltic’s 125^th Anniversary. I’ll get to see Emmy again, as well as Zach, Jake and the sibs. The only sad thing is Monte, et al, won’t be here. Miss them.

Polka, Dot?

Wow, how quickly things change. This morning I returned to work having been gone since last Wednesday at noon and apparently our school has switched vocations (can a school switch vocations? Is that possible?). Anyway, a gentleman called and asked if we were the polka place. I said, I didn’t think so but you never know. Maybe we should add that in to the curriculum.

Soooo….what a fabulous weekend I had! It was a much needed break from here and I had so much fun. It's one I'll remember for a very long time.

Highlights: (I’m going to try jb’s and mt’s way of doing things)

• Walking for over an hour with mom in the morning air
• Riding in the Falcon truck – sweet!
• Watching and feeling F-16s take off from Last Chance
• Going to the zoo
• Playing mini golf
• Spending time with Emmy
• Hearing Emmy say, “But I’m not bored yet!”
• Chatting with my sister over supper
• Spending time with an incredible friend :)
• Sitting in the park, in the rain, under a blanket
• Watching a couple get married in the park – a nice simple ceremony
• Lunch at the Diner
• Lunch at HuHot
• Looking at old pictures of guard members
• Driving home in the rain
• Falling asleep listening to a friend tell me stories (this wasn’t in a bad way)

There were other great highlights from the weekend, but none I want to put here. Sorry folks. Some parts of my life need to be kept to myself. :)

It’s like…like…like a vacation!

Yep, I’m on vacation for the next couple days. I can’t wait! I leave today after lunch and off for the rest of the week. Of course I am doing some guard stuff, but I will be away from LS for a bit and home and near all my loved ones. YAY ME!

Distracted

I’m losing focus today. Everything is fuzzy. One one hand, It’s a beautiful day (it’s raining! YAY!) and I get to see Keith today. But I want to be somewhere where I can enjoy the rain and relax. Instead, here I am at work, looking at the week coming up and it’s very short. Tomorrow I have a lunch meeting and then I’m off for the day, heading home for a mini-break (“It can’t be just shagging, a mini-break means true love.”). No, it’s not that kind of mini-break, unless I get lucky and find some handsome, desperate man. Haha.

Nope Thursday I’m taking Emmy out for an Emmy/Moe day and the rest of the weekend is guard stuff. I’m going to try to get together with a couple different friends during the stay, but we’ll see how it goes. And Sunday brings on Mark and Jeff’s PRIDE party! WOOHOO!

I just need to focus. Ah…zen.

Wannabe news junkie

So I was going to make a list of new favorites but I don’t want to take the time. So instead I’m just going to promote this quick site:

Newsmap

This is awesome…news updates every 10 minutes or so, color coded boxes appeal to me anal-ness, and look how pretty! :)

How much of a dork am I?

Don’t answer that. NO! I said, DON’T answer that.

I’ll do it for you.

I am SO excited. I got two of these in the mail today. YAY!

Slicker than snot

So last night I broke all my own rules and actually spent the night on the town with fabulous friends. JB and MT and I went to the Twins/Red Sox game at the dome…others came too – Emily, Chris, Heidi, Rachel, Jared and Laura. I think I got them all.

Now, my friends know I’m not a fan of the Twins so that in itself was a feat. But I had a great time at the game. Here are a few moments I’ll remember:

• Around 25-30 young men and women swearing in to the US Army. (It was the 231^st birthday of the US Army and Flag Day - very cool, even though I didn't get a flag)
• A man teaching his son how to put his hat over his heart during the National Anthem
• Dollar Dogs
• Watching for Chris
• The Upper Deck Home Run
• The Grand Slam
• Protecting Rachel from the fly balls coming no where near the upper deck
• Seeing the little boy in front of us do the same action JB was doing to protect Rachel from the fly balls coming no where near the upper deck.
• Two idiots running around the field – one losing his sandals, one running the bases and sliding into home, and the latter getting tackled by the Red Sox bat boy while all the other umps and players stood around watching doing nothing
• Cotton Candy!
• Riding in the sweet car
• Spending time with good friends. YAY!

All in all a great night. I was way too tired this morning to work out, but what the hell, right?

Oh, happy day...

Today is a good day. So far at least. I’ve reconnected with an old friend…well, he’s not old, but he’s a good friend. Email is a great thing, especially when friends are so far away. I also get to go to the Twins/Boston game tonight. Another outing for moe on a weekday! Craziness. It’s becoming a habit, I think.

Oh and it’s Flag Day. What could be better than Flag Day? (“I’ve always made excuses for my drinking…Hey, it’s Flag Day!”)

So I think maybe today can be a day everyone can be happy. And do you know how you can be happy? Order THIS for you and yours…it’ll make you happy.

Smart!

I can’t believe I didn’t put this on as one of my many shameless plugs. I got this CD yesterday. BUY IT! Seriously. The Smarts are awesome. But it HERE or HERE or cheapos if you live in the cities. Whatever…just buy it!

Wanted: vacation

So I’ve been bitter lately…not a good thing. And this morning as I drove to work and then again following a phone call from cah I realized why I’ve been bitter.

I don’t mind work, in fact, it’s a good thing since it keeps me away from mind-numbing things like tv or dvd’s or my bed. But I have been at work every day since after Memorial Day. In fact, Memorial Day was the only day in the past 2 months that I haven’t had anything going on. Before that, the last day I truly relaxed was the weekend of Chena.

I suddenly had the urge for a pop tart…trying to repress. Nope…gotta get something carb-y. one sec…okay I’m back.

Anyway, my next day off is this coming weekend, which is good, though there has been some hinting that with the big conference here that I may need to be available. Ugh. And that’s what makes me bitter. I don’t have the freedom, or at least I don’t feel like I have the freedom, to just take a day off when I want. I have to plan ahead – which is good as it gives me something to look forward to, but is bad because then I have to wait to take the day off when I may need it sooner. I’m not sure how to fix that.

Plus it’s my fault because I’m the one who does the schedule.

Oh well. Thank goodness I am taking a couple days off next week. I was supposed to do a make-up guard drill next Friday but I’m moving that to July instead and though I do need to stop out and do some photo stuff before the real June make up that Saturday and Sunday the rest of the day should be open – maybe hanging out with a friend or just vegging. And next Thursday I’ll be taking my niece out for our sara/emmy day. I think I’m going to take her out to the base to see the jets – maybe if we time it right we can see them take off, then the zoo and lunch and finishing up with Target so she can buy her b-day present with the gift card I gave her. I’m really excited for this day. It’ll be fun to spend the day with my little girl.

So that’s what I need to center on: Get through the days til then, count down to my time away, and focus on the goal.

I am a horrible person

I intentionally don’t make eye contact with people whom I don’t want to talk to, not because they are bad people but because I know that if I do make eye contact and ask one little question, “How are you?”, that I will be inundated with information which I don’t care to know and I will lose 15 minutes of time listening to laments about things I would rather not listen to. And I should take the 15 minutes because is work really that important? I just don’t want to hear the story again and again. And so I’m a horrible person.

Say goodnight, Grace

Sometimes I feel guilty. Yes, I, a woman saved by grace and all that, feel guilty.

There are times, more often than not it seems, that I just don’t want to talk or listen to people. Why do they think I want to talk? First, I barely know them! And just because I’m sitting here, in a place where I cannot escape, trapped like a rat behind wood and technology, it means I want to listen and have a conversation - that I have nothing better to do? Do they think I really want to hear about their meeting traumas or the latest debacle in their internship/placement/class issues – all of course someone else’s fault? Do they really believe I know where everyone is at every moment of the day? Is it my problem that they now have to walk down to the post office a block away and have a package weighed and buy stamps there because we’re out because 20 other people expected us to do it for them too? And do they think I really care that people are dressed up for their events? People, do you have any idea how many events I’ve seen in the past 4 years and how so NOT excited it makes me anymore?

But all that doesn’t matter.

I know they just need to vent or are just trying to be nice.

And I feel guilty.

Interesting week

It has been a very interesting week – full of emails and conversations that have changed and helped develop many different relationships in new ways. I was able to reconnect with an old friend and talk about how we came to be where we are today. I also had supper with a new friend and had her say some things that actually shocked me, but in a good way, if that’s possible. Then I also spent time with a current and continuing friend of pizza and rum/coke at Major’s followed by 2-hours of shopping. And through it all, email and phone conversations with my newest friend that helped us to understand our relationship and grow closer than I thought possible. It has been amazing.

The week has also brought some struggles with some work situations: Planning events with higher maintenance guests, sorting through the standard work crap, and trying to stay sane. Thank goodness for massages.

This weekend I hope to relax a bit between work shifts, clean out some clutter in the house and read. I need to read! It’s been ages. I did find a new book edited by David Sedaris that’s turning out to be a really good read. It’s a collection of short stories, which with the way my life has been going lately are just perfect to read at lunch or on the elliptical machine or for that 30 minute break at night before bed. Try it out! Enjoy!

secret revealed

Okay…so I was going to audition for National Lutheran Choir this year. I was asked by Shaun and encouraged to do so by Debbie and Bekah, but a lot of the rehearsal and concert dates conflict with guard drills. Now sometimes these can be worked around, but the main ones were during paper months which just doesn’t work. Oh well…maybe next year.

summer lament

In spite of the muggy, hot weather, it doesn’t quite feel like summer yet. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had much time to enjoy it. You’d think I would feel that it is summer since I had winter twice and completely skipped spring, but I just can’t wrap my mind around it yet.

Maybe it’s just that summer has lost the summer feeling. I know I graduated and have been a true adult for two whole years now, so maybe it’s just the not having classes ending and the freed feeling from school and responsibility that I miss. Instead, life just keeps rolling along, work projects continue, and the seasons change without my knowledge.

Granted, I see it happening. I have picture windows across from my desk, but not being able to say screw it to work, take a mental health day, leave it all behind and play makes it seem like it's just a slow motion picture, watching one of those time-delayed cameras they use to show how the trees or flowers blossom in science films.

I miss the excitement of planning day trips to the lake or park, the taking off in the middle of the afternoon for a run with no timeline of when I need to be back, the enjoyment of going in and out of buildings just for the rush of the A/C to heat to A/C moments. I miss summer.

Monday Meme

Borrowed from Fluid Pudding

I AM: a mess.
I WANT: what/who I can’t have.
I WISH: life decisions were a little easier to make.
I HATE: being indecisive.
I MISS: my family and friends so far away.
I HEAR: Bob Dylan and a piano playing in the distance.
I WONDER: why I am the way I am.
I REGRET: a lot, unfortunately.
I AM NOT: mechanical, or often coherent.
I DANCE: only when I have been drinking.
I SING: not enough ‘professionally’, but a lot in my car on the way home.
I CRY: too often for an otherwise somewhat normal person – I am a sap.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: together.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: blankets, magnets, cookies, cupcakes, etc.
I WRITE: not enough in real life.
I CONFUSE: myself daily.
I NEED: to be touched, loved, wanted.
I SHOULD: get a life beyond work.
I START: projects, sentences, ideas.
I FINISH: when I’m good and ready.

WOW

That’s all I can say.

Wait…no there’s more. I can always say more. I, apparently, have no end of words anymore. That’s another story.

So, WOW. I actually went out on a Friday night. Shocker, I know. But it was great. JB had texted (is that a word?) me about meeting today for coffee but I, of course, have to work all day. I don’t know who is doing the schedule these days but she’s starting to piss me off. Anyway, so I called JB up and we decided to get together last night. We went to the old KFAN place, whatever it’s called now, and had a lovely time. It was great to get together with her and chat up and vent out all sorts of issues and topics. So, thanks girl, I had a great time and I hope we can do it again soon. Maybe this time the couple will break up and actually go into separate cars like they are supposed to instead of driving off together. Weird.

Otherwise, I’m just back in the saddle again. Working my little head off – not really. I really don’t work that hard but people think I do. Well, there are times when I do work a lot, and I do have 3 projects, plus some minor reservations, which I’m avoiding quite nicely right now, but I am trying to motivate myself to do them – packets, Kairos and classes just don’t sound appealing on a beautiful Saturday when I know I’ll be here til 6:30 tonight and all afternoon tomorrow and the picture windows across from my desk keep taunting me with the sunshine and shadows bouncing off the trees and leaves as the wind shifts through them. oh well. It’s that damn scheduler…I’m going to have to talk to her about this.

Oh and my secret may fall through due to some scheduling difficulties. I’ll know more next week.

inspiration

Someday I’m going to be comfortable enough with myself to do this.

Gotta love the meme’s

Stolen from whoorl

1. What curse word do you use the most? Shit, but I’m a sailor girl so whatever.
2. Do you own an iPod? Nope. I’m a sad, sad girl.
3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most? MySpace is a crazy place.
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? One is set for 4:44, but it’s also about 27 minutes fast, the other is set for 4:35. That one is accurate.
5. What color is your room? This room is brick and Luther White. My rooms at home are mostly white, with the exception of the girlie bathroom which is light purple.
6. Flip-flops or sneakers? Depends on what I’m wearing
7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Taking it
8. What's the last movie you watched? Something’s Gotta Give
9. Do any of your friends have children? Yes.
10. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Only when they want to be mean.
11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? Only when I’m sick – Nyquil is the best.
12. What CD is currently in your CD player? James Blunt in my car; Bob Dylan and Bob Marley mix at home.
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? If I have to drink milk I prefer white skim. But I don’t really drink milk.
14. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Yes.
15. Have you ever given someone a hickey? Yes. A long time ago.
16. Who was the last person to call you? Angela (personal call); David B (work related)
17. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Probably, I think they also talk about me in front of me, but I’m paranoid that way.
18. Did you watch cartoons as a child? Doesn’t, shouldn’t every one? I loved Marvin the Martian and anything Warner Bros related.
19. How many siblings do you have? Three – one sis, two bros, all married.
20. Are you shy around the opposite sex? Depends on the moment.
21. What movie do you know every line to? Johnny Dangerously, Airplane!, My Blue Heaven, The Princess Bride, The Goonies
22. Do you own any band t-shirts? No, but I’m super jealous of whoorls Monkees shirt.
23. What is your favorite salad dressing? Sad to say, Olive Garden’s house Italian
24. Do you read for fun? Yes, it’s a necessity.
25. Do you cry a lot? Yes, I’m a sap.
26. Who was the last person to text message you? My friend, Tom
27. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Desktop computer but it’s unplugged and sitting on the floor of my mom’s house wishing it could be powered up. I’m currently using a laptop from my work to do some projects at home. Otherwise I do all my computing at work only.
28. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? I’d like to get a nose ring but I don’t think my job would appreciate that.
29. What is the weather like? Hot, sticky, humid. Wait, that was yesterday. Today is warm, sticky and slightly humid. Gotta love MN.
30. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Probably not.
31. Is sex before marriage wrong? Only when it’s bad sex.
32. When was the last time you slept on the floor? This winter when I was sick and curled up in 3 old comforters watching some stupid movie and I couldn’t get up to make it to my room.
33. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? I prefer around 8, but can manage on 7. Anything under that I get crabby and anything more than 9 makes me more tired.
34. Are you in love or lust? Both.
35. Are your days full and fast-paced? Sometimes.
36. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Yes, but more so the carb and sugar count.
37. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 32.
38. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? This depends to whom I am talking. :)
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope.
40. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? Generally men are easier to handle. Women can be too pissy and bitchy for me. Or course I am a bitchy, pissy woman so maybe that’s the problem.
41. Do you like cottage cheese? Sometimes.
42. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? My back. ahhhh
43. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? A few things, but I’ve had to stop going there or I’d be poor.
44. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Yes.
45. What song did you last sing out loud? I don’t remember…that’s sad. Usually I’m singing a lot, but I can’t remember the last song! Scary.
46. What is your favorite TV show? CSI
47. Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with? I’m with whoorl: John Cusack.
48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Saturday, May 20
49. What one thing do you wish you had? A home of my own.
50. Favorite lyrics? There are too many to choose from.

Forewarned

So the weekend is over. More importantly, baccalaureate and graduation are finished and a memory. Of course, we still have the wrap up this Friday so we can fix things for next year. But both events went well and are finished. Yay.

Monday the sem was closed for Memorial Day and so I had a nice day off. I mowed my lawn early to avoid the heat, then came to check my email and ended up spending about 2 hours writing one, yes ONE, email…I’m insane. It wasn’t anything bad, I was just rambling as I tend to do. Hopefully, the recipient didn’t have a heart attack when they opened it this morning. Well, time will tell on that I guess.

The rest of the day was spent napping, picking up my house, fixing the disc for the mailing project, watching the Numb3rs finale and vegging. If only it had been less humid I could have gone running. That’s just way too hard on the lungs to run in 90% humidity.

So, now it’s back to normal, whatever normal is. I went to the gym this morning and ellipticated, ran and did a few crunches. I need to keep going with that – the body’s getting flabby again – which is so not good. Of course eating the color-coded M&Ms probably isn’t helping that either. (I eat them in color sets. Yes, I’m weird, I know this. But, for the record, the order is: brown, blue, red, green, yellow and orange. When eaten out of order, bad things can happen. If the order is reversed or overlooked, one must correct oneself as soon as possible. If it is not corrected, bad things can happen. Seriously. You have been warned.)

I do have a secret but I’m not going to put it here just yet. I’m worried I might jinx it. And besides I’m not sure I want the outcome that may come anyway. But we’ll see and when I do I will, of course, let you, my internet, blogging and blog-reading friends, know.

Decoration Day

This is one of those weekends that mean a lot to me. Decoration Day, aka Memorial Day, was created in 1868 to remember those who have died in our nations service. Growing up it was just another day with a few twists. The ‘rents had the day off of work, we would all go to the cemetery and put flowers on the grandparents, aunts, uncles gravesites and maybe attend a service at the church. The rest of the day was spent cleaning around the house, mowing, and hanging out.

I never really understood the meaning of this until I was older. I remember watching Art Moe putting a flag by Dad’s stone and realizing the significance of it. Art was much older than Dad, in fact was his Godfather, and had been through several wars himself. To see him taking time to honor my father, a fellow veteran, was very humbling. I began to make a point in my life of whenever I was at home to stop by the cemetery and taking a moment to think about those who have gone before.

I think this day has become one where people honor those they’ve loved, which is very good. Without them, we wouldn’t be here.

This weekend I can’t be at home like I would like. Mom and I can’t take our morbid trip around to different cemeteries checking on the sites, planting flowers, taking the moment to say thanks. This year seems a bit more significant to me, I’m not sure why, but Dad would have been 70 this year, just a week or so ago in fact, and it has struck me a bit harder this year. I was telling a friend back home about this and they offered to put a potted plant on Dad’s Place for me, which I’m glad my stubborn head didn’t rear itself and say no.

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

Paintball!

Communication

What a week! I had the great joy of getting to see Kohly and actually meet his wife on Monday. That was really great. It was slow enough when he was here that we could actually talk for awhile. And during that lovely chat we, of course, discussed our blogs. I think we came to the conclusion that we check each other’s (our little group here) more than we actually write. It’s very true.

Now, from my perspective, my life doesn’t change a whole lot and I feel like sometimes my blog just becomes venting. But really, what else is it for? It’s a weblog, essentially an online journal. This can be a good thing though sometimes boring to read. (I’m not as eloquent as K). Our initial thought was to keep these as a way to track folks’ first year of ministry and compile things together, as a support network for each other. From my seat here in the ‘constant’ section, I think it has helped. I know I enjoy reading and keeping up on what y’all are up to. A lot of shop talk doesn’t happen via emails or on the phone, since those are times we just catch up and talk about our lives, but not necessarily about work.

Okay, I feel like I’m rambling here, but I guess my thought is for myself, a reminder as they say, is that I need to blog a bit more. There’s nothing wrong with using this as a venting post or to talk about what’s going on in my life. That’s kind of the point, I guess.

So, here’s a little update on my life:
I’ve been back to work 2 weeks now since the AK trip. I’m still not settled back into a routine, but I’m getting closer. I was stupid last week and agreed to take on a mailing project to help out the Pres’s wife – that has become a total nightmare. Talk about communication. Whoever did the project last year must have NO clue about mail merges and easing the process of multiple letters asking the same thing. the disc I was given had letter templates set up, sort of. There were about 50 individual letters, many saying the same thing (with the exception of to whom and asking for what – but even the latter was often the same), but all set apart for different people, all separate files! The spreadsheet connected to it also was not in any order, and didn’t make any sense. For example, there are letters that go to area associations – condos, apartments, etc – and there was one letter labeled ‘landlords 500’ but the spreadsheet had no indication of who the letters should go to! I spent 15 minutes on the phone with the lady whose project it is trying to sort it out and she had a great way of making me feel about this | | big because I didn’t know who these folks were, or that they ask Pepsi for 2,000 drinks for their participants (there was no letter for that), etc. So I’m finishing that project today, and fixing the damn disc because I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Whoever does this next year deserves to have a little more order because this is just awful. And the lady didn’t understand why I didn’t get it done in one night – uh, duh, ‘cause it doesn’t make any sense lady! Oh yeah, and by the way, I have a life! Grrrr.

Otherwise, let's see...a friend and I have been talking back and forth lately – talk about communicating. This seems like no big deal, I know, but our method is a little odd. In lieu of email and the phone, we’ve been talking to each other into a tape recorder – those microcassette recorders journalists use – and then send tapes back and forth. It’s kind of fun because we can talk to each other like we’re sitting together but no one talks back. And we can also listen and laugh and comment without interrupting. It’s kind of fun. The only drawback is that we do still email and occasionally talk on the phone so our conversations sometimes overlap. Oh well. It’s different and unusual, which is fun. I’m sure I look like an idiot sometimes though as I drive to work talking into a tape recorder. Of course, I used to just talk to myself, so maybe this adds a note of sanity to my life.

Graduation is this weekend at LS and Events is taking a stronger role this year. NS left LS in April to go to Augsburg Fortress and so her office handed off graduation to us. Crazy because we don’t have a clue of what’s supposed to happen, and trying to figure that out in less than a month is more than a little insane. Plus I’ve been gone so CH has been taking on a lot of it, and going crazy in the process. :) But I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’ll all go well and next week will be much better. Should be an interesting time.

So that's me so far. I'm going to try to blog more often. I don't care if anyone reads but I need to be writing. See y'all on the 'net!

Essential for the next seminarian

Just be sure to own a Mac.
Resource

AK - Round 2

Okay…so I had this all written up but I needed to redo it to (hopefully!) make it a little more coherent. You’re right, K, when we get out of our cultures, it’s all doublespeak. Seriously, I sometimes feel like that even within both the cultures I live. People start talking about hermeneutics and my eyes glaze over from confusion. I completely understand if people do the same with the military (hell, I do that at times there too!).

So here’s a shorter recap and explanation of what I did:

I and 129 of my closest guard friends, traveled to near Fairbanks, AK, to attend a training called Red Flag. This isn’t a new kind of training because it often happens in Las Vegas. The significance here is that it was the first time it was held in AK and with, what we call, a dedicated Aggressors force. This last thing means there are dedicated pilots who train and ‘play’ as the enemy using enemy tactics the military has studied and learned. So here’s a story based on the Aggressors Squadron of men who play the enemy.

My job there was to initiate interviews with key players of the exercise, take pictures of the different players (and primarily my unit), help set up media interviews with real media from the area, write articles, and perform the functions of a Public Affairs specialist, which is what I supposedly am.

The trick is that not many people really know what I do. Especially in our unit. One of my friend's told me that people had been telling him that I was just there to take their picture. SO not true. He set them straight, but most didn’t believe him. One person had even told others that I was just there for a vacation trip. Funny, since all he did was sit on the computer.

It wasn’t a vacation. We worked a lot. The PA office had 3 people dedicated to Red Flag, but we also worked with the host unit PA office of 7 people. These folks were all active duty and knew their way around – they were fabulous. The three of us, the Captain and Tech. Sgt. Jeff and me, were really indebted to them for all their great help. All 9 of these folks are people that I will forever remember. They all taught me so many things. I learned more than I can even express and truly understand my job better.

That was the big thing for me during this trip – it was really the first time I was able to deploy (go on a military exercise) as a Public Affairs person in a true Public Affairs capacity. Such a learning experience. There is so much more to my job than just putting together a stellar paper in 16 hours (though that was a big part of it, too). I’m still overwhelmed by emotion when I think of my time there for 2.5 weeks. I met so many fabulous people, many of whom I may not ever see again (though I hope to!), and worked with the incredible talents of the folks in my unit. I was able to see them in action on a daily basis and see others watching and learning from them! (i.e. active duty folks watching our guard guys and taking and implementing some of our tactics into their workplace). OH and I did get to go up in a KC-10 and watch the boom operator refuel several jets. Very cool.

We did get to relax some – though 12+ hour days, most days didn’t leave a whole lot of time. I mentioned Denali National Park last time. Our second weekend the group minus Casey went to Chena Hot Springs just outside of Fairbanks. If you click on that link…the middle picture shows the rocklake, which they liked to keep at about 104 degrees on the edge (so around 110 in the middle). The group spent 6 hours there on our second Saturday and I spent the entire 6 hours in that rocklake, having found the perfect rock to sit on where I could relax and enjoy. I got too relaxed though – I spent the next 3 days feeling like jello. It was great. On our 2^nd Sunday, Tom, Jeff and I went to the Protestant service. SO much better than Mass…at least I felt welcome there. And then another vegging day. Lingered over breakfast/lunch. Drove to Delta Junction (which there was nothing there!) but the scenery on the way was great. Saw the Alaskan pipeline, which was pretty cool. Went for a 3 hour walk that night – the weather was perfect, found moose poop along the way. :) And just relaxed. It was really great.

Our last Friday there was a very touching day. In so many ways. I spent most of the day finishing up a story, running errands, slamming my hand in a van door, crying over the coin Jeff gave me (he coined me!) and trying to keep focused. I really didn’t want to go. It seemed too soon for the exercise to be done, though I know the rest were ready to move on. I felt like I had finally found my niche and could pull things together, but alas it was done. That night the PA folks all went out for Mexican (which was good since it kept me from the end-o-deployment party for the unit which tends to turn into a drunken bash – blech!). Airman Weaver and I had put together a spoof front page (this is a tradition in the PA world) for the Captain, Jeff and I that afternoon. The three of us had written spoof articles and picked out some appropriate pics to highlight our time and then Weaver and I put it together. It turned out really well – lots of inside jokes or I’d share…plus I don’t have an electronic copy. But that night at dinner the host Captain presented them to us. It was very touching. Hugs all around, laughter, a few tears (just from me – I’m a sap).

I took the Captain to the airport that night. I was very sad to see him go. He’s possibly getting out of the service in a couple months (I had set him up on a Y cord on Thursday – it’s a jet thing – as a going away present) and it’s really a loss to the Air Force. He’s fabulous.

The next day we did our usual military hurry-up-and-wait moment. Work call was at 0600 and we sat around waiting to leave til close to 11. I hung out with the crew chiefs some, took a few last photos, and just tried to downshift. Our 7.5 hour flight on a C-130 sucked – cold and cramped, but we made it home fine (obviously). And the next day I worked another 10 hours getting our latest edition put together of the base paper.

So I hope this helps – I’m not sure if I was clearer or not. I’ll find some links to the papers we did, but I can’t get them to come through on this computer very well right now. Soon.

AK - Round 1

So it’s the start of story time. This’ll have to be in segments since I have basically 3 weeks to cover, but since there are other things I want/need to blog about I probably should get the AK time in now. So here’s week 1.5 highlights or ramblings, depending on how you look at it:

23 April 2006
I’ve been in AK 4.5 days now. Things are going smoother than initially. I packed too much and didn’t realize it until it was too late so I have way more crap here than I need – dammit. I may have to mail some back. But on the drive down I was SO nervous, at times I had a hard time even breathing. I got to the base and it was eerie – not like the other 2 deployments I had gone on where there was a mass movement of people and everything lined up to sign off on. Instead there were 2 tables and a truck. I dropped off my luggage, JP had me sign something to get paid, and I was told to be back at 0645. Crazy. So mom and I went to BK for some breakfast and then she dropped me off. Once I was back and mom had left, I suddenly felt better. I don’t know why, but I did…somehow I shifted into military mode. I walked upstairs to the briefing room, and felt calmer. It was very strange.

We arrived in AK at 10am Wednesday on a KC-135. The ride was awesome…super smooth, even for the jump seats. It wasn’t as cold as I expected seeing as we were sitting in the cargo bay. I slept part of the way, then read a couple chapters of “The House of Medici: Its Rise and Fall” by Christopher Hibbert which I’m borrowing from Keith. The flight went way quicker than I had thought it would and when we arrived we jumped right into work. Had a meeting with one of the AEW guys, (which I probably wouldn’t have had to be at since though I was AEW I wasn’t under him, but it gave me a good contact for the next couple weeks) and then headed to PA to meet the team and get to work. I had missed the tour of the base, so I was starting off a bit blind, but immediately was taken by the Captain and Tech Sgt Jeff I was to work with.

The Captain is my main boss and put me to work right away, but not in a bad way. Jeff and I went out to the flight line and took some pics of the Red Team and their mechanics. All these young kids keep these multi-million dollar planes up in the air. Amazing.

The next couple days I was working. We need to be writing and taking pics. I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to write. I hate writing. Ugh. I have a couple starts to some stories but I’m not sure if they’ll work.

Anyway, Saturday a group of us went to Denali National Park in hopes of seeing a glimpse of Mt. McKinley – whatever, it was SO overcast that we could barely see the mountains we were in. Oh well. I got a few pics (see below) and we did see some Caribou which was nice. It was a fun day with Tom, Dan, Rob, Jeff, Machelle and Casey.

Today, after I completed an interview with 3 captains, I went to Mass with Machelle and Tom and a couple others. Tom and I held up the Protestant part of the bench – it was okay, but I think I’m going to see if he wants to go to Protestant service next week. Nothing against Catholic Mass but they always seem so disjointed and not planned well. Do they not have a Worship class? Hello!

After that Machelle and I drove around Fairbanks and then North Pole, AK. It’s been a pretty vegging day. I’m trying to write now while watching DH but it’s not going well.

I did find out tonight that the Captain and Jeff both hate writing too…what a team we have! :) hahaha this should be an interesting couple weeks.

24 April 2006
1351 - Today is a dreary day. I’m hoping the mission went well this morning but with the weather I’m a little worried. Knocked off my first article but right now my captain is double checking my facts….suck. I feel shitty now. Grrr…I’m going to have to haul ass on my next article. Suck.

25 April 2006
0910 – Sunny today, hopefully flying will be better. I’m published though. WOOHOO! Though in truth, the captain helped a ton. Two minds are better than one I think. Today is Aggressor day. I think the Capt is getting a little worried that he’s assigning too much and I’m taking too much on. Whatever…I need to do this for the learning experience. Interviewing Matt F tonight. Should be good.

26 April 2006
So today I got to watch bombs go off…not just set out and detonated from afar, but dropped from planes, see the smoke, hear the big boom and feel the aftershock impact. Pretty damn cool. I just wish my pictures had turned out. My damn card filled up too quickly so I missed the best options for pictures. And by the time I figured out how to delete them off the card the game was done. Oh well. I got to play in the mud and freeze my fanny off. It was a good time.

I’m working late tonight. Jeff and I told the Captain he needed to go back to his room and just sleep and rest. He’s been working WAY too late lately. And so I sweetalked him into giving me the office keys so I could come back and work in quiet. It’s so much easier to work like this. I’m listening to interviews (90 minutes from Matt alone!) and I typed up a quick secondary story idea and shot him to review in the AM.

I’m trying to figure out my role here…am I for my unit or for the exercise? I’m kind of leaning for the exercise but with side bars for the unit. I’m not sure that’s the best option but we’ll see. RC wants a general article on what we’re doing and why were here…I’m working on that but it’s hard to write in a general way when there are so many little specific things going on. Hopefully if the captain approves this MXS story idea I shot him tonight I can use a bit of that for the big article at the end. Plus the Aggressor story I’m working on now should help to supplement it all as well. I just don’t think I’ll be able to pull that together ‘til next week.

Oh and the captain asked again today about the aggressor story. I think he’s getting the feeling he should do it but he doesn’t want to take it from me…I don’t care. It’s not like he’s stealing from me but if he feels he should do it for PACAF or whatever then he can…but I’ll probably still do a smaller aggressor story for our paper anyway. I don’t know. I just finished my notes, will print and highlight tomorrow and sort what I want to put together. Then I’ll have a better idea of what I want to showcase and we’ll see if that matches him. Ugh.

27 April 2006
Tired this morning. Machelle and I stayed up way too late again last night, but at least she’s filling me in on things happening. Found out Phil gave a briefing yesterday and is doing one again today for the unit (didn’t happen). And that she and Daryl are going to go around to the shops today and meet up with everyone. I need to get on that trip so I can find everyone. And found out from Tom there was a fuel leak last night so I need to get pics of them moving the plane and such and get our guys doing some work. My fingernails are gone I’ve been biting them with nervous energy so much lately. As mom would say, “it’s nerves.” Oh well.

28 April 2006
Man…stupid idiots across the hall partied until 3am. Jerks. Even after I asked them to keep it down. grrr. Plus I worked til 9pm, got back at 9:30, did laundry with Machelle and didn’t get done with that til 12. Finally had fallen asleep and at 1:30 the phone rang – JeffVW calling saying Northern lights were up. Those were beautiful – green and dull yellow, constantly shifting. Sweet stuff. But I didn’t want to screw up my sleep schedule any more than I already have so I still got up at 630 to shower and be at work by 715.

Three things today – picture we sent up that I took got gigged because I forgot to blur out the line badge. Bad.
Typed up my Aggressor article – Captain helped with the lead and editing and I nailed it. YAY!
My ATO crappy article made the front page of the Arctic Sentry. Woohoo.

So that’s been my trip so far. Going to a briefing by Phil at 3 today then taking pictures of some folks who want their picture taken. Blah blah blah.
Oh well. Really tired today.
Oh and did see mooses yesterday…but didn’t get very good pictures of them. Ugh point and click cameras. I wish I had had the D1 with me. They would have been awesome.

Another picture for your amusement…

…just until I have time to sit down and type more…for the record this was a ONE time occurrence and I wasn’t even drinking crown.

Back

Okay a quick note. I’m back and things are super busy. I wasn’t able to blog while there but I’ll tell you all about it soon. I have pics – TONS of pics – to sort through and figure out what I can put up and what I can’t. The trip was phenomenal and though I’m glad to be back I easily could have stayed another week or two. (Although the host unit is sucking rubber this week, so maybe not this week). So more soon.

Leaving on a ... well, on a plane

Last minute items...AKA the checklist before the storm

So after a long, but fulfilling church weekend, I’m now scrambling to make sure I have everything and am prepared (or at least seemingly prepared) for my time in AK. All weekend I’ve been laundering, cleaning, rolling, packing, Ziploc-ing, and sorting to figure out just what I will need and what I won’t. It’s always a fear of going somewhere you’ve never been and packing what you normally need for three weeks. Three weeks! It’s more than a normal vacation, which is obvious since it’s not an actual vacation, so it’s packing not just clothes and necessities, but also supplies and uniforms and work gear.

It’s also getting everything in order at work. I have a unique job in that I can’t just up and go for a few weeks, let alone a day. I have to cover the shifts I’m missing, train people in on how to enter reservations (which isn’t always easy – both the training and the reservations) and make sure I have every last question answered to the best I can. I watched Confidence* this weekend and the character Jake was talking about how a good chess player sees ahead 20 moves, essentially can see the entire game and how it will play out. I have to do that here, too, anticipating problems that may occur, determine how I would solve it and either fix it so it won’t happen or write down a contingency plan for when it does. It’s a challenge in itself.

And on top of all this, I need to get my head in the game – the game of the military. This means moving out of the castle on the hill and moving into the trenches. Again, harder than it seems. These are different people – people who live in the ‘real’ world, shoveling people’s crap day after day. (And just to cover my own butt, I’m not saying seminary isn’t the real world, but it isn’t the same either – but that’s a blog for another day.) But these people are also phenomenal – they give their all for their country and generally work their butts off in the process. I’m really looking forward to it. If it's anything like the IMAX show I saw this weekend, I'm in for a wild ride.

So here I go. Heading off into the wild, blue yonder. I’m excited and scared sihtless all in the same moment. I’m stressed and relieved simultaneously. I’m happy and sad – and funny enough, this will continue the whole time I’m away.

*This is an AWESOME movie, by the way. Great grift.

Things that make me happy

A good workout sweat
The burn after the good workout
Hell, just a good workout in general
Drinks with friends
Baking
Seeing a mom read to her child while they wait for the school bus
Sun roofs
The smell of morning
Flirting
Long, hot showers
Bubble baths
A good book
Massages