28 July 2006

Chaos Theory

Over the past few months there have been a series of changes happening within my life – work, personal, spiritual. It’s been scary at times, but overall in the end it has been for the best. Of course, it’s hard to see the best in the outcome while the change is still occurring.

See, I’m still going through these changes – man, it sounds like I have menopause or something. Or maybe I’m just pms-y since all this is impacting me pretty hard today. But I’m on a committee which desperately needs change and I see that and want to do it, but I need help from others as well. My fear is that while the changes need to be made and I want to help incorporate those changes that the wrath of others will be detrimental – perhaps not just to me but to the changes and newness being created. People here ‘fear change’ (to quote Garth Algar) and when someone like me comes in and wants to make change people then resent that person. (Does that make me Rob Lowe?)

Change is good though. I believe it. I live it. Of course it scares the bejeesus out of me as I do it but it’s good to have change. Otherwise you get in a rut. And a rut isn’t good.

My friend spoke of this on his blog the other day, but I’m going to quote him here as well: “…there are actually lives transformed through gathering experiences. i believe it is actually because it is time broken away from our everyday lives that there is transformation. and this makes me wonder if it is at all possible for our lives to be impacted in ways we would readily recognize if the changes didn't make us alter our routine.”

Ah, there it is…routine. I LOVE routine. I am a military girl and routine is what it’s all about. And when the routine is altered, that means something’s wrong. But how do you break away from that?

I think LA has it right: “. in order to break out of the rut we have to have our lives interrupted. events (like the gathering) can be interruptions that lead to positive spiritual transformation in our lives. … our lives are often filled with chaos and grace. it is navigating between them that seems to make life the experience it is. chaos and grace were there at the beginning of creation as ruach moved across the waters.”

The trick now is to get others to understand this. The fear of change runs rampant across these waters. And the path ahead is full of brambles.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Moe,
I have re-read your latest posting and agree with you on some things. Except when you made the statement, altered routine's mean something is wrong. Now don't mis-understand this, but, changing your routine is, I believe healthy. We don't want to become predictable and volunerable. Change's in our lives are sometime's hard to accept but should be looked upon as a challange and something positive. Now I just re-read what I put to print and said, Sure, it's not that easy sometimes. But your not alone. Everyone deals with change and routine adjustments. I need help everyday from friends to guide me along the path of life. Anyway, Hopefully this line of horse dunk might spark something positive and help in some small way. I am there for you, but will chose to remain, respectfully yours. Anonyomous