So one of my friends (*sigh* Schlenker) would always dress up when he knew he was facing a challenging day or if he didn’t have a lot to do(so he’d be motivated to get things done). Hence the avatar today. I can't afford fancy clothes and it's too cold to wear a skirt so I thought maybe the avatar evening gown and paparazzi would help just as well. :)
*I'm so Chandler Bing...except I don't really watch E! or ESPN. :)
Attn Readers: for the record I haven’t made a decision yet. Any rumors that may be floating around that I’m leaving my job aren’t true. Hello! Still discerning! Haven’t made a decision yet! Sometimes I hate this place – the rumor mill is insane.
Stay at the
Move to CLI
Stay at the
One friend said, shouldn't this be an easy decision - if it's so hard then maybe it isn't right. The problem is that in the discerning process I’m realizing more and more that this is not just a job change, this is a career change. If it was just a job change then it wouldn't be that big of a deal...but it's so much more than that. If I move to CLI, I’m saying to myself and others that I’m looking for a career in administration and that I’ll be here probably a goodly chunk of time (I don’t think they’d appreciate if I take the job and then leave in 8 months or a year). If I stay at the ID, I’m saying I want a job in events OR that I’m still discerning my future and will be here for at least another year before I make a change.
Both positions have their good points – they both have building blocks from which to grow. In CLI it’s building the position and the WMC to perhaps more that it could be than it is. In
One year ago today I started this monstrosity…too funny. I remember one friend telling me that only pedophiles and geeks had blogs and if I needed to talk to call him. Well, I still call him, but I also still blog. This has become a great avenue for me to vent, talk, just spew info. I’ve tired journaling in the past but this has been the only thing that has really worked. And over the past year this medium has helped me to not only discover who I am but also my friends. Technology is taking over people, but in so many ways it’s such a good thing. It helps me to keep in contact with people in ways I never thought I would, and hopefully, they feel the same about staying in contact with me.
So anyway, thanks to you 5 or 6 people who read this. Maybe someday I’ll be as famous as Heather and you can say you knew me when… :)
JB does this often with her recommendations. JF and MT have taken her up on this task…so I thought why not?
Water glasses – I found these first at the Bibelot and only bought two, then gave one to my mom, silly me. Must have more! I love these.
Chatterbox – Awesome place to hang out…better during the week when it’s less crowded, but can you really ever go wrong with a bar that has an Atari?
TB – I grew up on these books and love them still today. Mindless reading with very little plot, and there’s always the question of whether or not Jim and Trixie will finally get together! Good for the teenage sap in all of us.
My Blue Heaven and Johnny Dangerously – again, mindless comedies which just warm the soul. And great quotes! "Plus, no bicycle. It was a disappointing Christmas on many levels." "Did you know your last name is an adverb?"
Aprons when cooking – I recently bought this one since I’ve been baking so much lately and it’s fabulous. I love the extra towel!
Michael Buble – ah…’nuf said.
Just a couple quickies, found courtesy of odious woman:
So after a good conversation with CH, I’m back to square one again. (tangent: I loved Square One TV. I wish it was still on.)
So goal for today and tomorrow: Name my strengths, weakness; pros/cons for both positions; look to future with where I’d like to be in 5 years (even though I hate that part).
Then meet with DD on Friday for a little more info on the CLI job and then make a decision over the weekend. By Monday I should have a decision in place.
I fear my future when it takes me 2 weeks to decide on a job.
What a perfect start to the day – overslept, cold shower and freezing rain. ‘can’t wait to see what the rest of the day brings.
*Singles Awareness Day
Ugh. let me just repeat that: ugh.
So the discernment is still going. I did meet with CAH which was good but didn’t really help my confusion.
Maybe I need to just take the job. Change is a good thing, right? It’s not like I’m indispensable or anything. It’s not like people can’t and don’t already cover for me if I need to be gone or I screw up.
But then I wonder where does that put me for the future?
I’ve been chatting with some close friends about this: K said “maybe the outcome God wants for you is simply a different perspective.” MW brought up that the extra money is nice but spiritual and emotional health are more important. These are great to think about but neither will I know unless I do take the job. I know where this job will take me. I know the challenges, hell I know what time of year is better than others – what times are slower than molasses and what times make me want to rip my hair out. It’s the unknown that scares me more than anything.
I went to
But all that said, I feel like I have to look to the future and what to do I want to do with my life, and dammit, I just don’t know. Damn vocations. I majored in music because it was easier to stay with that major than figure out what I really wanted to do with my life while I was in college. I went to seminary because my pastor asked me to go. I graduated with an MA instead b/c for once I figured out that the pastor gig didn’t work for me, but then I graduated with a sham degree b/c I just wanted to finish and not waste all the money and credits I had already earned. I took a job at the
Why does this have to be so hard? Of course, some would say it isn’t hard…you just decide and you live with your decision. ‘cause maybe it doesn’t work out…you just find a new job. and then I’m right back where I am now.
So ugh.
What to do. What to do. What to do. What to do. What to do.
What do you do when you’re happy in your job position, but you get offered another job? And what if that job is at the same company where you currently work? And what if it pays more money?
Rock
Me
Hardplace
Had lunch today with a fabulous woman: Laure is so funny and amazing (she ran a half marathon this weekend – hello! It’s February!), I just love hanging out with her. She, her husband and I basically closed the party down at Christmas…too fun! Anyway, she invited me out to lunch to talk about a job possibility in her department. Apparently she’s been working up the courage to ask me for 3 weeks now. The position would be cool – working with the CLI and WMC students and contacts, traveling a couple times a year to
The sad thing is – losing control of LS (I AM the Dir. Of First Impressions, as well as the person who runs this place, you know) :), switching positions mid-year, leaving a place I do enjoy working, hurting CAH.
It makes me think about mom – someone had told her last week to retire on her time, not when it’s best for the bank. So if this is right for me I need to go for it, right? And not worry about the ID or CAH or whatever? The problem is I have this responsibility trait and I feel obligated to follow through on my tasks. There are so many things coming up I don’t want to miss out on and I don’t really feel comfortable leaving to someone else. But are those reasons enough to stay?
Then there’s the guard factor – in my unit if you want to switch positions or try for another opportunity, 9.5 times out of 10 you are encouraged to do so. There seems to be an overwhelming notion of doing your job well, but also of advancement of your career and position. You just don’t see 40-yr-old Senior Airmen working as a computer tech or an apprentice. But here, granted once you come to LS you generally stay or you’ll be back shortly after leaving, there isn’t a whole lot of department movement. Very little in fact…And I’m not sure how that would go over.
It’s nice to be wanted, I will say. It’s quite a boost to my ego to be told that I’m really good at my job and when the position was developed I was the first person they thought of for the job. Apparently I have good skills, even if I’m not completely sure what they are.
I have some time to think about this…which is good. Laure’s going to put it on the LS website for job offerings so I’ll have to actually apply. She didn’t want to do that but I think it’s better if she does. Maybe someone else is qualified who is actually wanting to leave their job. And if I do decide not to apply, and maybe even if I do, I could use the salary package as leverage for my current position, not that it would probably help. I, at least, need to tell CAH about this...somehow.
So…what to do. What to do. What to do…
Ugh.
RAC commented (finally!) on my posting below and hinted I may have left some important items blank – what am I doing today, tomorrow…etc. And since I struggle giving up on opportunities to procrastinate a little more, I thought I’d actually try this. The problem here is that these may be seen as goals, and if I don’t fulfill my goals, I may sink deep into the ‘pit of despair’. (sorry, momentary Albino moment) But alas, I will try to list the things I want to accomplish today and tomorrow and see how this goes.
This time via JB…
10 YEARS AGO:
1. i worked at the nsu library on work study and at Arby’s full time while going to school full time
2. i lived in my very first apartment with bethy – we had a “Wall of Jim”
3. i was dating Jim “Ripped His Knee”
4. i hated my degree program but felt trapped in some ways
5. at the end of the year I joined the SD Air National Guard
5 YEARS AGO:
1. i was beginning my fourth semester at luther
2. i lived in Bockman the first half of the year
3. i had made a trip north to some small city to see my friend Tim play
4. then I made a trip to CSprings for a week to see Tim again
5. i moved into a basement of a house the second half of the year
1 YEAR AGO:
1. i spent 2 weeks in MD at a guard school
2. i sang my first solo at Central
3. i began the re-evaluation of my life
4. i went to a strip club with friends (not to dance) for mardi gras
5. i weighed the most than I had since college
6 MONTHS AGO
1. i began my lifestyle change
2. i became more specific about my connections with people
3. i started running again and began looking at gyms to join
4. i began a great friendship with A1 & A2
5. three of my dearest friends moved away from me
YESTERDAY:
1. i was horribly unmotivated!
2. i weigh what I weighed in college (but not the lowest I was in college)
3. i did my best to be available for a friend in need, but probably failed miserably
4. i experienced a moment of SUI (shopping under the influence)
5. i had wingy!
I haven’t been doing the blog thing lately…other than reading…trouble with blogger and having difficulty posting so it’s just not worth the effort. Plus, I just really don’t have much to say. Someday my life will be more exciting.
Four Noble Truths: I’d create my own, but I think Greg has it right.
Favorite new blog designed by the husband of Heather. My favorite is here.
Should I feel guilty for not really working when I have to work?
I’m working on 100 things about me. Initially, I saw this at Stephanie’s and tried desperately to keep it at 100 but then realized she has way more so now I just randomly put things down. Eventually I’ll post it here.
I did get an avatar. FINALLY figured out how they work…for being computer literate I often feel really illiterate. Oh well. I’d like to learn how to set up links on the side of the page but that’ll be for another day.
Thank you for the prayers for Zachary and Art. Art is still in the hospital, but doing okay. Zachary has been moved out of CICU and doing really well. He still has a long road ahead of him, but he is doing well.
I tell ya, the things I find myself reading these days. Here are a few:
A Clash of Kings – the second in the George R.R. Martin series. A must read!
Attitude is everything – good to remember to help the advance of my career…or what there is left of it. But also good to remember for all the fun staff things I need to work on.
And then the “WHOA” of the week. (I’m still thinking about last week's…I promise I will comment on that soon.)
I always start with Lileks (scroll down a bit – it’s at the end he talks about Joel)
Then I moved to the article
Then to the comments by Hugh
Then to the interview
Uffda.
And on top of that I reconnected with Mikey today, who sent me pictures of he darling wife, Heidi, who’s due to have their first child in a few weeks! Ah, Mikey. I miss him. He and I and Heidi always had such a great time together – then they had to go and move to
But the joy of friendships is even when you are separated by miles and don’t talk or see each other as often as you like, when you do pick up that phone it’s like no time has passed. Of course you go through the obligatory “what have you been up to” stage, but that lasts all of 5 minutes and you’re back to joking around and laughing like always. That’s the joy of true friendships…it’s always there. You always have them in your heart even when they aren’t in your sightline.
I’m working to plan a trip to see Mike & Heidi. I’m hoping to get down there this spring after the baby comes so I can see all three of them. I haven’t seen both of them since their wedding I think. Oh, that’s been ages! (well not that long, but still)
Sadness and Concern:
My father’s Godfather was in the hospital again recently. Art has been such a pillar of life it’s disheartening to hear that he isn’t doing well. He’s lived an incredible life – building the
I’m asking for prayers for Kristin and Ron’s little boy Zachary. Zachary was born way early and though is doing well does have quite a few days of building ahead of him. Thanks.
Excitement:
Soon I’ll be taking a trip. Not just to
Interest:
Tuesday night I went to the Guthrie for my 6th of 7 season ticket shows. That night (and currently until Feb. 5) they are performing “The People’s
Has anyone else figured out that my life just hasn’t been that exciting lately? I mean, pictures of pies, procrastination lists, blah blah blog. Sorry. I wish I had more exciting things to report but alas, my life is just this exciting. Not.
So I’ve been reading. Read this. Then read this. I’m not going to comment yet because I’ve been trying desperately to sort it all out in my head. Soon though. But feel free to start. (p.s. the first one is long) (P.S. Reid - get a blogger ID, you don't need a blog, but get an ID and then you can comment. I'm guessing you'll have some thoughts on this one.)
But here are some thoughts (not related, but maybe) I’ve been toying with over the last couple of days:
Thanks to whoorl!
[A is for age:]
30.75 Yes, sir. I am in my 30’s and loving it.
[B is for booze of choice:]
Rum and Diet Coke, natch.
[C is for career:]
Event Services Scheduling Coordinator. Fancy title for “the girl who enters the room requests in the system”.
[D is for your dog's name:]
I’ve never had a dog. It’s okay. They’re too needy, though damn cute.
[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Softlips; CL peach tea; eggs; water; toothpaste; toothbrush; BC.
[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment:]
Ooo…right now, sad to say, I’ve been listening to Janet Jackson’s “Design of a Decade” and her famous song Nasty. Sad to say it’s probably my fave at the moment, though I’ve been listening to a lot of Chase lately, too. What's scary is Richard Marx is on the radio right now (Hold on to the night) and i know all the words. help!
[G is for favorite games:]
Cranium, Sudoku, Cribbage to start.
[H is for hometown:]
Baltic, SD.
[I is for instruments you play:]
Clarinet and piano, though I took methods classes for every instrument so ideally I could play anything – just not well.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Strawberry.
[K is for kids:]
None that I know of.
[L is for last kiss:]
J-man.
[M is for most admired trait:]
This isn’t an M word, but okay I just don't know. Hospitality?
[N is for name of your crush:]
John Cusack, Ethan and J-man.
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
None, unless you count staying over while friends/family were admitted-then 2 that I remember.
[P is for phobias:]
I have a fear of falling, and I’m not a fan of tight spaces or a lot of people crowding around me. This is why I’ve never been bungee jumping or to the MN State Fair.
[Q is for quotes you like:]
I have way too many for this one. For now: I'd just like to acknowledge all my loved ones, but most of all, I believe I must give credit as credit is due. When it comes down to it, it is to procrastination which I owe much of my creativity and subsequent success. Many see procrastination as a negative thing, however, I have obviously reaped the benefits as I stand before you today. May my success, my creative genius, be a reminder to all, that Procrastination has it's place in society today. Without obsene procrastinatory habits, creativity would not have blossomed and grown. And although my creative streak is being honored here today, it is really my overdeveloped habit of procrastination that this success is to be attributed to. ~ tep
[R is for biggest regret:]
Not applying for Regents College in London, not playing more during college, not focusing on one passion and spreading myself too thin (though not physically) and not having the guts to just pack up my little car and drive somewhere and start completely over.
[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Sugar Free Hershey’s Dark Chocolate and Reese’s PB cups. Oh and Lite Cool Whip. Oh and sugarfree Fudgsicles.
[T is for time you wake up:]
6am but it ends up being 6:40am before I roll out of bed. Though today it was 7:08. EGADS!
[U is for underwear:]
Right now, black cotton bikini.
[V is for vegetables you love:]
Celery, broccoli, lettuce, peppers and I’m learning to like spinach. I’m not much of a veggie eater.
[W is for worst habit:]
Biting my nails, inability to make decisions, procrastinating (of course!) and NLP’s (neat little piles).
[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Only dental.
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
PB cookies with Dark Chocolate kisses, chocolate chip cookies, low-fat sugar cookies with frosting, steak, chicken, lots of stuff!
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Aries, baby.
I wasn’t officially ‘tapped’ as Angie was by Emily but alas, this is kind of interesting, at least if you’re procrastinating entering tax data onto a spreadsheet it is. So here it goes:
Four Jobs You’ve Had in Your Life: Crew Leader at Arby’s, library circulation desk worker, deli hostess at Sunshine Food Market (there’s a song with that, did you sing it?), beginning and middle school band teacher
Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over: My Blue Heaven, White Christmas, oh man…I can’t think – there are way too many I already do watch over and over!
Four Places You’ve Lived: Baltic, SD;
Four TV Shows You Love to Watch: CSI (the original), Friends, Grey’s Anatomy, Monk. (And Laugh In, but I don’t actually have that one readily available.)
Four Places You’ve Been on Vacation:
Four Websites You Visit Daily: Dooce, The Breast Cancer Site (and other tabs), Greek Tragedy, fluidpudding (obviously). (Many more are listed in my blog favorites. I waste a lot of time online.)
Four of Your Favorite Foods: Strawberries, Diet Coke with Splenda (does that count for a food?), my cookies, spichemere.
Four Places You’d Rather Be: in the arms of John Cusack, in
Four Albums You Can’t Live Without: Ella Fitzgerald Songbook Collection, Chase, Parliament, Jaztronauts. (again, so many others to pick)
I thought I wouldn't tap anyone else officially, but I'd love to hear what your 'four' are. :)
So this weekend – since I haven’t been here in a while – was pretty good. Morty turned 1 on Friday (with over 19670 miles – ugh!). I was going to take him for a bath and clean up him but I ended up spending the day indoors going through files and receipts for the impending tax filing season. If that wasn’t depressing enough, which let’s face it – it was, I also had to shovel, first 3 inches (during which Charley came up behind and me and was redoing parts of the sidewalk I had already done – thanks, buddy), and then another 2 later that day. So rough b-day for Morty. I’ll make it up to him soon enough. Someday I’ll have enough money for a detail appointment – then boy, won’t he be happy!
Saturday was new years eve, duh. I’m not usually a girl to go out and party it up, esp. in the cities where everything seems to be overpriced for what you get. BUT A&K wanted to go and I wanted to hang with them, so we went to the Lounge. Once we finally got in it was a pretty good time. I got to kiss a boy at midnight, and a little after, which is always fun, K got hit on twice by a girl, A got really drunk, and we all hung out and had a fabulous time (well, the girl left early, much to K’s thankfulness). My friendship with K is growing (at least I hope so) which is great because I love hanging with A and it’s important that K and I get along, otherwise it’ll just be painful. So hopefully we all can hang out more in the future. They are incredible people.
And since it’s January 1, it’s time for the resolutions – or goals for lifestyle changes, as I prefer. I’ve already posted these once so I’m not doing it again. If you REALLY want to read them (they’re boring, trust me), then go here. Otherwise, just know that I’m still working on me as I have been since July and August and that will continue for a while. Someday I’ll be fixed (not like a dog gets fixed, but in a good way) and maybe I’ll have some better ones.
So happy new year everyone! I hope 2006 treats you better than 2005, unless 2005 was the bomb, then I hope 2006 at least lives up to it. Or screw it all and just live your life and count your blessings each day, because really, what more do we have?
