30 days hath September, April, June and November
And that's all that's left until race day. 30 freaking days. Shee-it.
Okay. I'm officially scared now. My runs have not been going well this week. I've been toying with the SF Half on Sunday but not sure if I can do it. I'm trying to eat better but yesterday was another bust - I totally spaced on lunch (it takes a special kind of stupid to forget to eat) but I wasn't really hungry anyway. Plus I was reading the other day how I'm in the Clydesdale category of runners because I weigh more than a specific amount (that's encouraging - I'm a huge horse who reps for beer - there's a Lane Bryant ad campaign if they need one). Yeah, that's motivating.
And now there are 30 days left and I'm fearing it. I'm fearing the runners flying by me while I trudge on by. I'm fearing the sweep bus. I'm fearing failure.
I especially fear this because for the last month AS has been telling me I should drop out - that there are other marathons. But I just can't bring myself to quit yet. There are still 30 days to go! And I can't quit because if I do I feel like I'll be letting down E and K and JB whom I all talked into running too, and essentially myself. How pathetic am I really.
So I can't quit, but I can't seem to get started either. I need some help on the motivation part. I haven't felt motivated at all lately. Yeah yeah - "You are your own motivation" but I start to run and begin to think of other things I should/could be doing instead and then I stumble - not literally but emotionally, spiritually and motivationally and then, not really thinking about what I'm doing, I'll stop or walk or turn around. I can't quite see the end - hell, I can't even see the middle right now.
What in the hell was I thinking 8 months ago? Seriously.
Help.
3 comments:
You should feel so proud of yourself, most people don't even get past the point of someday, and now you are gearing up for it. I know you can run this. 20-some days s plenty of time and you put so much into this already. I'm looking forward to hearing the recap of how great it was to finish!
You've come too far now to turn tail and not press on with this adventure. Who cares how you finish. Just that you tried and can do it. Keep on working hard and press through this short slump. Now is the time for running. Nice crisp fall air and beautiful trees turning color. Who wouldn't want to be outside running. What a joy just to be able to run. How many people do you know can't run. Run for them. Run for yourself. You can do it. ANyWay Clueless
Lemme tell you a couple things. First, when I ran the half-marathon, my longest run previous was 10 miles. JB went and did over the full amount 'cause she's awesome... and I felt totally unprepared because of it. Thing was, my body was still in pretty good shape. The week before, I tapered, got good sleep, and ate well (ahem!) and was fine. You will be, too.
Secondly, the emotional aspect of running was one that kicked my ass as a track runner in HS. My coaches all knew my body could handle the work - but my mind didn't think I could. It took an injury to refocus how I looked at my body's ability and my appreciation for what it can do to realize, yeah, I'm not the fastest - but dammit, I can run.
I guess what I'm saying is you're not alone. A marathon is hard work, and I admire you even considering one. (I never will!) But to assume the worst is inaccurate. You won't win - but you can still enjoy the gorgeous fall day. Take good care of yourself and prove yourself wrong.
And eat lunch once in a while. :)
Post a Comment