Good Problem

It’s a good problem to have, really. On one hand, moving back home and being closer to the family while still having a decent paying job with good benefits would be great. On the other hand, staying and expanding on a current decent paying job with good benefits and being close to mucho amounts of culture (e.g. the Guthrie) would also be great. It comes down to which would make me happier? And that’s what I just don’t know right now.

Almost 10 years ago now I began, knowing that it would be a long road but hoping it to be happy. It has turned out to be one of the best roads I’ve traveled – the opportunities, the friends, and the accomplishments have been so numerous. I’ve established a level of almost perfection that I strive to meet each month and when I do and I’m holding it in my hands, it’s an overwhelming feeling of joy I have. To step back from that and return to where I started 10 years ago, yet on a different level and in a different location, seems idiotic. Yes, my current levels can be reached, but I want to expand even more. There is so much more I can see happening in this area – it CAN grow and it should grow. And I would really like to be part of that. The opportunity is there if the higher-ups can be convinced, especially now with the other changes afoot. (Yes, Dr. Watson, I said ‘afoot’.)

But to give up an opportunity to get my foot in the door on more permanent level now, to see if something can shake out in the future, also seems idiotic to give up.

And then there is the current situation. How much do I want to ‘wait and see’ what happens? How much time do I allow? With the new opportunities that have been presented, how will that affect the future – and would it help the first hand above if I stayed and accepted those opportunities? Or would it be just copping out and playing it safe? The experience and new training is an exciting prospect, and it could be used to enhance the other current position if the higher-ups would see fit to allow a permanent function of it. But am I willing to wait and see, with the possibility that it wouldn’t happen?

And then the question is – is it the position or the permanency of it that is the appeal? Which would help me be happier in the long run?

Like I said – it’s a good problem to have. I just wish it were easier to sort out.

LA, thanks for listening last night and helping me sort out some of this and ask questions that needed to be asked. JB, I know you hate when I’m vague. Sometimes I wish I could just be more open on this blog – it would help to really type out everything and get folks opinions or just type it out for me. But then questions seem to arise that I can’t always answer. But maybe I need to take the advice of Cyril:

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." -- Cyril Connolly

Until I figure out if I can do that, this is all I can give.