"Everyone always says to be yourself...like "yourself" is this definite thing...like a toaster, or something."
-Angela, My So-Called Life
Last summer, I was at a conference of workshops. That is, I was at a conference that showcased workshops that we could bring to our workplace if we so desired to book them (or copy them). One of them was from the ScreamFree Institute. They have a daily parenting tip you can sign up for and, despite the fact I don't have kids, I signed up anyway.
Above is today's quote. And here is Hal's take:
My "self" is an abstract compilation of my feelings, principles, and experiences. It changes on a regular basis as those things shift and change. We are never "done" as people and this is important to remember for several reasons. If we convince ourselves that we are set in stone, then we are shortchanging ourselves tremendously. We are complicated beings, capable of growth and change. So are our kids. Avoid, at all costs, backing your child into a corner by labeling them in one form or another. Labels only limit; they never help. You are not creating a stone statue that will be "finished" when it turns 18. That's good news. It should enable you to relax a bit and enjoy the ride.
-Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting and ScreamFree Marriage
This reminded me a lot of my quote at the top of my blog. I am never one thing, I am many and as many I constantly change. I'm like a shape shifter, but in a good way.
But I understand Angela's statement - she seems perplexed here that you're supposed to be this definitive thing. But people aren't, yet are often expected to be. I'm expected to be one way, and most of the time I'm not. Part of that is because I buck the system and when someone tells me I have to be this, or I can't be that, I do the opposite (I'm such a child in this way). I'm really glad Hal's Take says as such, "Labels only limit; they never help."
That reminds me of my prof in college who would always tell me, "Moe, you can do anything you want, you just have to decide what you want." My boss said something similar a month ago, "What does Moe want?" Of course both of these comments made me start singing from Damn Yankees, "Whatever Lola wants....Lola gets..." Too bad that's not always the case.
Today is due day (or maybe tomorrow). I have to talk to the boss about SBK's job that's open. I need to come up with a plan because the deadline is rapidly approaching and with the work weekend ahead of me, my time is extremely limited. Though I often do my best work under pressure. :)