guh

First, YAY! It's a Friends Weekend! I got Season 9 in the mail today. I'm so excited. Mary and I have been helping our friend Nick learn Friend-ish. He doesn't quite know how to speak our speak and so a couple weeks ago we helped him learn the Friends vernacular by having him watch a few (well, 10) choice episodes from Season 1. Soon we'll watch Season 2, which is, of course, the best because of Eddie and Richard. I can't wait, but for now I get to watch Season 9 all weekend...which of course I can do because I have no life.

Which is a perfect segue into the next mind-numbing pathetic banter I can write because now I have this blog and I can. Forewarning to anyone reading...you may want to skip the next parts...it'll just be me being the pathetic girl that I am.

Went out with Kris last night. We had a lot of fun at Don Pablo's drinking, eating, chatting. She's so fun, but she was the second married person yesterday to say, "I'm so glad I'm not out there anymore." That makes me feel so great. I hate dating. I'm so glad I could set up my friends Karen and Nick but now I'm still sad and alone. I think I'm just going to stop looking, because (to paraphrase Ellen Degeneres in the movie "Mr. Wrong") that's when it happens, when you stop looking. But really, I'm just sick of being rejected or ignored or put off. It's just getting annoying. I'm a great person, great kisser (ask Troy!) and any married guy I talk to who really knows me doesn't understand why I'm still single. Maybe it takes being married to understand what I have to offer and single guys just don't get that. I don't know. Maybe I put myself out there too much and it's just screwing me over. I know I was too 'me' Tuesday but I didn't know it would scare him away like that. I guess I should have though, since being me has scared off every other guy I know.

This is why I hate dating it's the fricking mind games...if he calls he likes you if he doesn't even though everything went great then he doesn't but he might still call so hold on to that hope for a little while longer but don't put yourself out there because now the ball's in his court and you can't do anything to show that you actually may like the guy because that will come off as needy and that's not good because in reality he probably doesn't like you and is just trying to figure out how to tell you that you really just suck and that he never wants to see your pathetic excuse for a female face ever again.

God I just disgust myself. I hate feeling this way, and I hate that I'm letting a guy be the reason I feel this way. I think I need to just get away from here for awile - sans guards, sans work, sans people - just go away and figure out who I am and what I'm doing. ick