Closed Door

There are few rules in my office, which would make sense if you see the normal state of frazzledness that it embarks. But one of the most crucial ones is this: "It's not about you."

Yeah, it makes no sense, but let me 'splain. My office shares a door with my boss. Often people will go in to chat with him about very important and private matters. So they shut the door. For the first few months of my probationary period I would get very nervous. Did I do something wrong? What did I do? Crap, what's going to happen now? And so on...yes, I had a touch of paranoia.

Well, I have trained almost everyone now that when they close the adjoining door to lean in and say, "It's not about you." This works well. I can breathe a sigh of relief and they get to chuckle at it. :) Because honestly, it's rarely if ever about me. I'm a peon and not important to waste breath on. Plus if it WAS about me, they'd be pulling me in to the office too.

So today when Boss2 is meeting with a colleague and suddenly they shut the door, I get a little concerned. His door doesn't really fall under the "rules of the house" but it would have been nice. Especially since it wouldn't surprise me if they were talking about me. So my paranoia went up a bit. And especially when just before the door was shut my colleague stepped out and asked me which leadership program I'm attending next month and right after I answered, the door shut.

I hate this feeling. I know I shouldn't worry about it, but I do. It's just one of those things, I guess. I like them both and enjoy working with them, but when I'm not in the loop I get worried.