slowly, but surely

I'm feeling a little better today. Still not 100% but getting there. K called last night and really nailed it on the head what my problem is (or at least part of it). And once again, she's completely accurate. Sidebar: it's good and important to have friends who can read you, even when they are miles away.

Anyway, K pointed out that, basically, I have realized unconsciously that how my life was (i.e. workaholic, work encompassed, work work work) is not how I really want my life to be. I don't want to be working all the time. I don't want to work late and work on weekends when I don't have to or go in on Monday's when it's my day off. There are other things and better things to do with my time. I just didn't realize it until MS came into my life and woke me up.

It's not that MS is the center of my universe where if he disappears I'll be sucked into a black hole never to return. Fact, I probably would be pretty depressed for awhile if he were to no longer be a part of my life, but it's more that he's reminded me things that I can do that I wanted to try but didn't know if I would actually have the skillset to do. And I do, so I can, and I could.

He's also reminded me that work does not have to be the be-all/end-all for my life. I can leave work at the end of the shift instead of staying later. I can leave work at work when I go on vacation and not check voice mail or email. I can make it through a weekend without stopping out to the office to check on things. I can, and it's a good thing that I do.

Granted, because of this sudden change, I've fallen behind on tasks that I normally would have done on weekend (in my previous life, that is), which is where the stress has come and built up as of late because it's all coming to a head and I'm having trouble grasping it, STS. So it's good MS is on vacation this week, away from me, where I can work a little later and play a little catch-up so that when he returns I can be back to my normal, cheerful self, caught up on work and at a place where I can function efficiently (or at least more so than I am right now). It's going to be rough for a few days, but I'll get there and I feel better about that now.