25 May 2007

stupid musings

Every now and then I find myself thinking. I know, it's a scary thing, but I do it anyway. Lately I've been thinking about life in general. I watched Friends With Money tonight. It was interesting, though kind of weird how it ended. I guess the basic premise was that money doesn't make life easier. But not knowing what you want or who you are doesn't help either.

For the longest time I've never known what I should do with my life. And even though I have this great job now, I still don't know. I wonder some days just what my purpose in life is. I think about the future and wonder if I'll look back and wish I had done something different, wish that I hadn't stopped my life short by taking this job in this city when I'm so young.

Which of course leads me to the next thought about what my future will look like. I'm sure I'll be continuing at this place of work, but will I rise on the ladder? Will I switch positions (probably), what would it be? And then I think about the rest of my life.

I'm slowly becoming a runner. I'm not there yet, nowhere close to it. But I'm working on it. I wonder if I'll be able to continue this. Will I ever run a major marathon and finish at a decent runner's time? Should I even be asking this question when I haven't run the first marathon?

And what about the rest of my days? I can't spend my whole life running (well I could but...). So where will my life lead me. I guess the basic question is, will I ever get married? Okay, so I'm only 32 and shouldn't be too worried about this yet, I know. But the question comes to mind. Maybe it's just that I'm kind of missing the questions from the family – you know the ones, “So do you have a boyfriend yet?” “When are you going to get married?”

Well, I don't know if I really miss the questions, but maybe I do. It's not great to be reminded that I'm single by my family, but they haven't asked in so long either. Which makes me wonder why they don't ask anymore? Do they not care? Do they see that I really don't do anything with my life except run, watch TV, work and sleep?

Anyway, I don't know. Maybe I'm just wondering a lot since I'm watching Wonder Woman Season 1. I'm sure that's it. Maybe I just wish I had the guts and the body to walk around in her 'uniform'. I love the red boots.


Justin G said...

thats a ton of wondering! i wonder often how you still do not have that man found- soon and very soon, and he will be very lucky!

Anonymous said...

LOVE both those Wonder Women (the other one being YOU)