“I aim here only at revealing myself, who will perhaps be different tomorrow, if I learn something new which changes me.” – Montaigne
27 February 2007
Connections
Today as I'm still lamenting the lack of DVD from VCR workage, I have a lead. I did check out the new versions of electronics last night at Target and heavens to murgatroids...I'll have to buy a whole new system of everything if I want anything to work correctly. I love my little TV but apparently it's too old to work with anything from this century. Maybe it's time I give in and come into the 21st century.
BUT until I give into that, my connection is going to take my VCR to his contact to see if the electronic geek (and I mean that in the best way) can fix it. Apparently the latter likes to work on things like this and can maybe make it work again. So I'm crossing my fingers and saving my quarters for the fix-it payment (Crown Royal or a case of beer...fixer's choice).
I baked yesterday though...and it felt great. I made my infamous chocolate chip cookies which turned out perfect - soft and chewy but not overly so. AND I made my other infamous cookie - the peanut butter with Hershey's kisses. One of my bosses 'shamed' me for those. He saw them on my desk this morning and said, "Shame on you." He said it again after I explained that I use the low-carb peanut butter and dark chocolate kisses so they are actually GOOD for you, but this time he smiled then laughed as he walked back into his office. Oh well. And I tried one other new recipe...Banana Oatmeal Raisin. These turned out really well. Very soft and chewy but yummy! The last oatmeal raisin I made turned out well but didn't have a lot of flavor...wow does the banana add to it. Good stuff.
Otherwise, nothing is new in my life since yesterday. I could talk about Lent and my Lenten discipline of going through a box of stuff a night, but I've already screwed that up, but I am keeping it in mind. I'm trying to de-clutter my life. I'm reading Clutter's Last Stand right now and it's really good. As I look around my house I see I don't seem to have a lot of stuff, but I do. A lot of papers and books and things I just don't need. Sooo I'm trying to de-clutter and become better organized. My hope is that I'll be buying a house soon and I really don't want to move all those books and crap again if I don't have to. And I really don't have to.
How's that for goals... Crazy: 5K and marathon, de-cluttering, studying for promotion, baking...man. And you'd think I'd be busy. :) This is turning into ramblings so I'm going to cut out for now. later...
26 February 2007
Time keeps on ticking...
My vacation with K&E was the best...I tried sushi for the first time ever and survived, I fell in love with edamame (and have found it at the stores here - woohoo!), was enlightened on the world of Empire Records and The Producers, and got a great fix of Hyde which leads me to think that maybe I am more of a cat person than I ever thought.
But the bestest part was spending oodles of time with K&E. They are two of the mostest wonderfulest friends ever! (can I add a few more est's to that?) My life is truly filled with them. Somehow we're all on the same page which is amazing looking at our different backgrounds growing up...but we all came together and a great friends. I miss you guys already!
The other great thing last week, that despite my non-interest in working (4.5 days off then to a 3 day work week is almost worse than working 10 days in a row - but that's another story), I am excited to announce I received my two correspondence courses for work and now I can start studying to get my 7-level and my academy finished so I can be promoted. YAY! It's complicated so I won't go into it too much but it's a good thing. i get to be a student again, though I have to be a self-motivated student which will be a challenge.
The sad news is...my VCR is causing me issues again. This time the connectors in the back which I plug my DVD player into are shorting out, I think. I'm 90% sure it's not the DVD player since the new one I purchased is doing the same thing the old was is, it's gotta be because of the VCR. SO my dilemma is whether to scrap the whole system (TV included) and buy new or figure out someway to make it work. We'll see. The VCR itself still works, it's just the connectors. Maybe I can just replace those? Does anyone know?
Anyway...I have 14 minutes left and I need to do some research. I hope to be back soon!
18 February 2007
Becky HomeEc-y
I'm sure I've mentioned that before, but I really do. This weekend I'm visiting E&K (they're at a 'thing' so I'm hanging out catching up on blogs - Man I need a computer at home) and last night I cooked us the Salsa Chicken recipe from the South Beach book. Of course, I added a bit here, and left out a bit there, but it turned out really well. Tonight I'm cooking another chicken recipe I found in mom's Family Circle magazine or something like that. I've had it before I really liked it. I hope they like it too.
In my quest to catch up on my 'reading', I've been going through my saved links of blogs I used to read at the former job. Many many of them are cooking or baking related and it struck me just how little I've been doing of either lately. I made a couple batches of cookies in January, to try out the new stove and figure out its quirks, and I've made a couple chicken recipes too. BUT I haven't been baking or cooking like I used to.
I'm getting the urge to make a pie, or bake some cupcakes so I can get out my frosting gun and decorate to my heart's content. I'm aching to mix up some batter and experiment with new recipes. Or maybe I'm just wishing I could lick the batter off the mixer.
Good thing this coming weekend I have nothing planned. The past 3 weeks I've been booked, and while that's good for my social calendar, my kitchen is lonely. I think I hear it calling out to me, even from two states away...Yes, there it is, "Moe! I need cookie dough!"
17 February 2007
Remiss
and the big one: YES I'm planning to run the TC marathon with JB. How freakin' crazy am I? And to help matters I think I talked E&K into it too. :)
Mostly, I need a goal. For me to run on a continuous basis, whether for the mile and half we have to for work or just for fun, I need a damn goal. I'm not much of a goal person - usually I don't set them because when/if I fail then I just get super depressed so I usually just rather go through life one day at a time and see what happens. BUT for running, it's totally different. I need a goal.
So here's my plan for the year: (yep, YEAR)
March - Run the St. Patty's 5K
April - Run another 5K
May - Run a 10K
June, July, August - prepare, plan, train and enjoy running outside
September - Run a Half
October - The TC Marathon baby!
This seems a little daunting now that I've signed up for the first one and have put the rest in writing...and I've put them in writing for all the world to know...sheeeeeeit. But maybe all you folks can help keep me accountable.
I'm really nervous for the first one but I think I can do it. 3 miles is nothing, but 26...well that's another story.
Best news - I'm at E&K's this weekend. Ah...nature has restored order with me back with my friends. There's nothing like sitting down over salad, chicken, fish and beer to feel at home. :)
10 February 2007
Motivation
Thursday was a great day. I’m feeling motivated, the sun is shining and I’m made plans for the weekend. YAY!
JB sent me a quote today. We were talking about the TC Marathon and our training and our motivators. She mentioned that during one race she ran there was a girl standing on the side holding a sign stating, “you are your own motivation.” Damn, if that doesn’t choke me up every time I read that. It totally caught me off guard this morning when JB sent it. It’s true. No one can motivate you but yourself. If you’re determined to do something and are motivated, you’ll succeed.
This made me think of another friend who is struggling with some weight issues (who isn’t!). She had an encounter with a co-worker where as she was discussing what had worked for her in the past, the co-worker would shoot down her plan with, “no you need to do it this way.” What works for one won’t work for another necessarily. That is a common truth with everything in life – in weight loss, in eating, in sex, in relationships, in life.
“you are your own motivation” It’s so true.
07 February 2007
Bumper cars
Sometimes, just to be mean and evil, as I am prone to be, I just want to sit there a little bit longer after the light turns green, just to piss them off.
morning musing
Of course I’m really just vying for a full-time PA job. I really miss PA…the more I think about this, I’m not sure I made the right move. Well, I did. I needed a change and this is a great one – good benefits, great hours, great people. But leaving the best job in the AF was pretty stupid, even if it was for a full-time gig.
I am getting compliments on my work (not that I’m motivated today, but still). Sunday after drill our new HR senior asked me if my ears were burning that day. I said, “No, why would they be?” as my paranoia began to rise. She smiled and said that ‘they’ were talking about me at lunch – all good things of course, how I’m bringing good things to the building now. I said, “I bring cookies. Of course they’d like me.” But she went on to explain that the attitude and air I bring to the building is great and that people appreciate it and that I probably wouldn’t be here [in this position] long because she sees me going far here [the unit]. I’m not sure what that means. Maybe I’m being to narrow minded. I love PA and I don’t want to stray too far from it, and there aren’t many ops for a girl like me out here from what I can see. But maybe there are more than I think. People are coming up to retirement, others will be moving up and there may be openings. But will they be in a career field I want or can do? I guess I won’t know til then.
It’s scary. Every now and then I wake up or have a moment where I wonder if I did the right thing. I wonder if it was smart to leave the cities. Last night I was watching a special on Billy Strayhorn. He was amazing and I got to thinking about life back then. People took chances more. They’d pack up their belongings and just move and work wherever and work to make a name for themselves. Hell, he even went to Paris for awhile, he rode across country on a train staying up all night writing music for Ellington, he did something with his life. Of course I’m thinking this as I was lying on my couch, watching TV, feeling incredible alone as I was missing the Cities and my friends and wondering if this is all my life will be – go to work, come home, eat, lay on the couch watching TV until the day starts all over. Will I ever be daring enough to pack everything up and just go? I’ve thought about it but my fear of having no security, no stability with my life scares me into staying. Am I just living out my fears by moving ‘home’ and taking this job? Am I truly living how I should be or could be?
I keep thinking back to a conversation I had with my friend (happy birthday Sunday!). He even said to me he was worried that I was settling down too soon in life, settling in to the good retirement pay, good job, etc., (all good) but I wouldn’t have or wouldn’t take the opportunities to live life differently. He and his partner have lived all over, granted – even 10 years in London (of which I’m extremely jealous). Will I never have that? Am I settling too soon? Should I be taking more risks in life? I don’t want to look back and wish I had done more. I don’t want to wonder “what if”.
I don’t know. I suppose I’ll find my niche eventually. Maybe I’m just suffering those first month blues where I wonder if I chose the right path because the ‘camp’ feeling I’ve had is wearing off and now I know I’m here for a while and I wonder just what my life will be like in a year. Will I still feel alone? Will I still be longing for PA and wishing that was full-time? It’s not that I don’t value what I do now. My job is important. Our work here overall is vital. Maybe I’m just wondering if there will be more in and to my life. I’m sure it comes down to me making it happen, and again maybe it’s the blinders I’m maybe wearing, but I’m just not sure how to make it more.
05 February 2007
I found it!
So here I go. Thank God I type fast.
I love my job. It's fabulous. Working four days a week, with time to work out during the day, working with two of the best bosses in the world - these things are just small portions of why this job is the best.
This past weekend we had a ceremony honoring all our colleagues who returned from overseas (5 are still there having volunteered to stay and help out - amazing). The ceremony was typical for a military gig - formation, stand at attention during awards, hear our higher ups speak, etc. But this one was pretty powerful for me. For once I truly felt a part of it. Not that I was part of the 300 or so that were overseas, but now I'm truly a main part of the greater portion. Every day our job is to help strengthen and defend out nation. I'm a part of that. What other job in the world can give you that pride and respect.
Throughout the ceremony, I found myself choking up, knowing that this was such a small tribute for these men and women who did such awesome things. Our unit is truly the greatest in the nation, if not the world, and I was honored and very humbled to stand next to them then and on a daily basis.
That said, I do still miss all my friends in the Cities and I miss the Cities in general. I am visiting this weekend, (hint hint: email me people if you want to see me! I'm there for a limited time but I'll try to make something work) and I can't wait to go back.
I promise to get my butt over here more and write more often until I can find and afford a computer. :)