16 June 2005

Story Time

3 Musketeers were walking along one day and they came upon a stump. On the stump sat two hotties named Sara and Theresa. “Oh joy, oh rapture! We at last have seen true beauty! (they were looking at Theresa) Our lives will never be the same!” they said to each other.

The first turned to Theresa and said, “Oh beautiful fair maiden, what can I do to win your hand?” Theresa looked up at him and said, “Well, strange man with a feather in your cap, I love whipped up fluffy chocolate. Do you think you could find me some?” The Musketeer waved his feather and said, “your wish is my command.” And POOF! He became a big barrel of whipped, fluffy chocolate.

The second Musketeer looked at Theresa (Sara was starting to feel a bit put off but no matter, she loved Theresa more than these three guys anyway) and said, “Oh beautiful fair maiden, what can I do to win your hand?” Theresa looked up at him and said, “Well freaky man with a sword in his belt, I need some hard chocolate to help transport my fluffy chocolate, can you help?” The musketeer drew his sword and nicked his finger. “Dammit!” he cried, and immediately stuck his finger in his mouth to stop the bleeding. Somehow he waved the sword around and he turned into hard chocolate.

The third Musketeer, having watched in horror at his friends who turned themselves into a delectable treat for Fair Theresa (as she was becoming known) turned to Sara and said, “Hey baby, I have a Harley out back. Wanna go for a ride?” Sara contemplated this for a moment, for the Musketeer was ever so ruggedly handsome with short black hair and deep chocolate eyes and strong hands and shoulders and arms that she just wanted to be wrapped up in. But the more she contemplated the more the chocolate began to melt, for it was a hot day, and she said, “Well, baby, hot as you are, I could really use a Strawberry Daiquiri instead.” And she grabbed the Musketeers fancy sash and waved it around his head and the musketeer turned into a huge blender of Strawberry Daiquiri with lots of rum.

Theresa said, “Finally, our snack for the day arrived! Who the hell were those guys? The waiters?” Sara said, licking her fingers of the whipped fluffy chocolate and sipped her strawberry daiquiri, “Who the hell knows but at least they taste good!”

Moral of the story: Never tempt Theresa or Sara with wishes when they are longing for chocolate and rum.

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