Like you didn't know this already...

I'm weird. Yep, I know it and fully admit it. And it's true.

Recently, I tried ear candling. This was pretty cool, I will admit. I was a little nervous but I had heard good things about it from a couple people at work. And since I've been sick the last week (the second time in a month) I thought maybe a good ear cleaning would be good.

I'd go into all the sick details of how I did this, but I'd rather you just read about it here, here, here, or here. They can explain it better than I can. There are disputing arguments on this – some people say it's great, others say it doesn't really work. But I tell you, the wax I saw had to have been wax out of my ears and my head feels more open and clearer than it has in weeks. So I'm a new believer.

Revelations

This week has been a very good week for me. It's been interesting – first working the 5 day week (it's Thursday when I'm typing this and I really feel like it's Friday and I should be done now). But the 5 day week isn't bad. We started at 7 and generally I worked until 5 or 5:30 each day, without stress, without anxiety, without feeling like I was working to beat the clock – and this is one of those weeks where I actually am, because if I don't finish this stuff this week I won't get it done, and for some reason that doesn't bother me. Maybe because I know I can get it done and I have complete confidence in that.

But the big thing I've realized is that it really is okay to leave things at the office. Sure I've thought briefly about things I have to do the next day but really those thoughts have been few and far between. Friends will know that if I was back at the 'normal' job this was not the case. During the day I'd be always on the go, trying to get the next thing done, always stressed and trying to stay on top of every last thing. And then at night, oh heavens, at night I'd dwell and agonize over what I had to do the next day, contemplating going in early or working through my lunch/run or working late.

But this week has been kind of a breath of fresh air. While I've worked 'late' every night, I haven't felt like I was working late. I just kept going and getting things done. I quit when I was ready to quit but didn't feel like I had to stay or that I needed to stay. And at night I have just let it all go. I have read books, watched movies, hung out at Dunn Bros (for the WiFi – which I should be doing tonight instead of writing this while I'm sitting on my bed and publishing it later), and just relaxed. It has been a complete change of pace for me.

I kind of like it.

In August's O magazine there's this quote: “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.” - Mahatma Gandhi. And this one: “Finish every day and be done with it....You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it...serenely, and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

These are two quotes I'm going to take with me and read them each day. Gandhi's is important all day long – especially as I worry about the stupidest little things that seem to come up. And Emerson's will be the last words I read as I leave work. I'm going to put it on my Outlook calendar to open up at me for the last 15 minutes of the day. I need to keep these in mind.
This week has been a relief. I have felt more normal than I have in a long time (even though I've been sick all week – damn summer colds). This is a feeling I want to keep.

I don't have a title for this post

I'll start this with a minor apology – I wasn't here last night to write to y'all and I still haven't downloaded my awesome pics with My November Guest. Sorry.

But the last two days have been very productive. It's interesting being back on the 5-day work week. I haven't done this in months. We still start at 7 and we're supposed to be done at 4, but of course, I, being the workaholic I am, work til 5:30 as usual. I'm so stupid. BUT my colleague and I are getting a ton done and have a very good possibility of finishing everything this week (which was my goal from the beginning). At least we'll finish all that we can finish this week – the main project. Some items have to wait until Don comes back and that's not until Monday.

So our projects are cool – one is a slideshow my colleague is working on; the other is a pseudo yearbook. Both projects are filled with the pics we took last week of the Youth Camp. Her project includes music, of course, and mine is just my own natural flair. I did have to take a good lunch break today and downshift from the 'professional image' thinking I had in mind and go towards the 'cheesy' mindset instead. Not that having pics of kids on the cover is cheesy, but when I had a this cleancut, awesome cover and now I have to fade it out and add pics of kids being kids, it hurts my professional side just a wee bit. But I will say that watching “Everyone Loves Raymond” during lunch does help to ease the transition.

I haven't done much touring of the area (my original intent). Our later work nights aren't that big a deal, and I can even deal with the fact I have a cold - again, but the heat is killing me. It was 77 this morning at 7am when I was going to work and 108 when I got off work at 5:30. When I went to Target 90 minutes later it was still 104. Ugh. And what's bad is there are places I want to go. Sunday I went to a cool lake MNG had suggested but didn't hike because it was hot as blazes and I didn't have adequate supplies for the 10 miles around it (even though I really wanted to). Maybe tomorrow night. Of course, if my projects go well, I'll be back here next year so I can catch what I missed this year then, right?

Of course, as I type that, I'm reminded of a co-worker who died over the weekend in a motorcycle crash. Life is too short. Which also makes me wish I could just not have to work and could travel to be with my friends. JG I miss you! K and E – I can't wait to see you in August! MT – I'd love to visit you in London! JB I'll see you in August too! And there's still the inevitable marathon in my future.

Suddenly, I'm tired.

Quickly

So this will be quick because I'm sitting at Dunn Bros and have been for about 2 hours now, sipping my Chai and nibbling my scone (both aren't faves but needed so I can access here via WiFi), and I think the staff may start asking me to leave if I don't finish up. Plus I need to recharge the 'puter.

Last week I was at a camp working with kids who's parents are all part of the National Guard (Army and Air). It was a pretty cool week, as I look back on it. The program is awesome, bringing kids together who are all in the same boat yet hundreds of miles apart. It helps them to connect with each other and realize they aren't alone, all while learning a few military tidbits, spending some time canoing and playing games and checking out the great attractions of the state.

My job was to take pictures of it all. Admittedly I'm really worried about this. Granted I have my new camera! which is super awesome and worked great, but I'm a little worried about the operator. I'm not sure I got what I intended or needed. I guess we'll see. I had another photographer with me and hopefully she got some good stuff too and we can put out a stellar product for the kids this week and i'll be asked back next year.

And lucky me, it wasn't just for the kids. I was able to connect with some great people I work with as well as others from the other side. Shawn, Rebecca, Rachel, BJ, Shannon, Alex, Kevin, Kevin, Sarah, Sarah, Dale – and many more – were all awesome and I'm so glad I was able to hang out with them and get to know them while we worked at this cool event.

AND lucky me, I got to see My November Guest yesterday. She's the best. I forgot to download the pics from my camera so you'll have to wait another day for those, but it was great to see her again.

One more week to go...putting together the stellar yearbook from the event and prepping for a Half Marathon coming up Saturday. To be honest, I'm really nervous about the latter (well, both actually, but I know I can handle one). I haven't run a Half yet, and I didn't get time to run last week, so this week will be brutal as I prepare. Good news, it's on a downward slope so hopefully the 13 miles won't be too bad. :)

What the hell am I doing?

Like I said here, I knew this week was going to be rough. And it has been – maybe not as bad as it could have been (like today when I was falling apart and my friend asked if someone had died and I said no, they said – well it can't be that bad then) – but in the scheme of things it hasn't been the best.

Monday was great, Tuesday was rough, Wednesday I work up at 2:30am and couldn't get to sleep again until after 4. Of course then when the alarm went off at 5:45 I was extremely exhausted but had to get ready for work.

Wednesday was an okay day, but not great. I started off by apologizing to one of my bosses for my crappy behavior on Tuesday, then I just tried to function. It was crazy busy and I can't even remember how things went at work. That night my niece had a great T-ball game, but unfortunately my nephew did not have a very good baseball game. I won't even mention the score here – it was just heartbreaking.

Thursday I woke up late and my contact broke, so I was back in glasses. It's amazing how quickly one can get used to not having to wear something on your face all day long. The highlight was getting my camera that I had ordered Wednesday. YAY Circuit City!

Friday I was still in glasses and trying desperately to get things completed. I worked late, had some issues with my contact that made me want to cry (but they sorted out) and did a lot of laundry.

Today was absolutely hectic. It's one of those days that makes me feel like a technician. I'll have to explain that sometime. It's a little more detailed tan I want to do here. Anyway...at the end of the day everything had just culminated and I finally fell apart. That was good since it was cleansing, but so very bad for the location that it happened. You know...I can't go into it again. Let's just say it was bad...very bad.

Okay, so anyway...I'm heading off for a fabulous week. I need this so called “vacation” according to my friend. And even though I was just gone last week, I think he's right. It's not really a vacation – I'm actually going to work, but it'll be fun work. I'm spending a week taking pictures and another week creating a yearbook of the pictures. I can't wait, honestly. It'll be grand fun.

And God willing I'll get to see My November Guest! :)

Retail Therapy

My friend Debbie is awesome at retail therapy. Often hers takes place at the Galleria and specifically Tiffany's (the little blue boxes just chase the blues away!). I can't quite afford that location though and I've never been a fan of retail therapy.

I think, unfortunately for me, that I have taken retail therapy upon myself lately. A few months back I bought this fabulous computer I'm typing upon; I've purchased my Guthrie season tickets for next year (not that I've received them yet – note to self: call them and see!); I bought Jonathan Adler sheets; I went back to contact lenses and broke one Thursday so essentially I bought 1 and ½ pairs in the space of 3 weeks; and, yes, Karen, I bought that camera.

Now, to be fair, I bought the camera to help me with my work trip I have. I need a good camera I can succeed with, and my point and click doesn't work.

So I now have a Nikon D40. And it's so pretty! I love it, especially that it feels like a camera, that the pictures turn out awesome, and that I feel like a photographer. I'm really excited about it.

The bad thing about all this is, I'm running out of money. Not a good thing. Retail therapy is great in that it helps you feel good after the crappiest week ever (save bits and pieces and one day), but the credit card bill that follows just causes undue (or overdue, depending on when you pay it off) stress.

Avoiding the expensive stuff; or what I didn't know didn't hurt me

For whatever reason - here's a High School meme – graciously stolen from Greens 'n Cornbread

1. Who was my best friend? I used to think it was Else, or Mark, but looking back I don't know that I had a best friend at all. I had a lot of acquaintances and associates, but best friends? Nah.

2. What sports did you play. Volleyball was my best sport, but I also rode the bench in Basketball. I kept stats for boys basketball and track though.

3. What kind of car did you drive? I had a light blue '87 Ford Tempo.

4. It's Friday night, where were you? Usually at one of the games – football or basketball. During track season I was at home studying. I was a geek.

5. Were you a party animal? oh, hell no. I was not a popular girl. In fact, those girls would stand in front of me and invite girls 2 years younger than me to parties.

6. Were you considered a flirt? oh, hell no. (see above). Not until college did I get my flirt groove on.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? We didn't have the orchestra option, but I was in band and choir (and theatre if you want to go for the full nerd gamut)

8. Were you a nerd? Yep. And was voted Brown-noser of the year my senior year (only because I had to sit in the front row during government class – keep in mind the front row was still 3 rows from the actual front row)

9. Did you get suspended/expelled? oh, hell no. (see #s 5, 7 and 8).

10. Can you sing the fight song? Bits and pieces of it, but now that I think about it, I'm not sure I'm even humming the right tune.

11. Who was your favorite teacher? Probably Mr. Gunderson – he was always fair and kept classes interesting. Second would be Mr. Sittig even though I hated him in basketball...he was a great math teacher. In fact he taught me a trick that helped me make it through college while working full-time and carrying tons of credits. (If you want to know the trick, let me know)

12. School Mascot? Bulldog

13. Did you go to prom? Small town so I went to three. One wasn't mine – I was the blind date for my friend's boyfriend's friend at their prom. My school proms (juniors and seniors prommed together, so to speak) I went solo and hated both.

14. If you could go back and do it over, would you? oh hell, no. High school was not a happy time. I had few friends, studied a lot, had really no social life, and felt pretty out of my element for a majority of the time.

15. What do you remember most about graduation? Walking down the aisle with Matt; laughing during the supposed 'tearful' song the senior girls sang; feeling very glad to be done; hating that we had to wear purple – damn girls; and the slide show where we put our baby pics and then our senior pics and I had submitted one where I'm pulling my dress slightly up (I was 6 mths old) and Arnie turned to me and said, “Why don't you do that anymore?”

16. Where were you on senior skip day? We didn't have an official senior skip day – in fact I believe we were told that if we did skip we'd be suspended and not allowed to walk at graduation. We did have time to go to the park to take senior pics together for the slide show.

17. Did you have a job your senior year? Not during the school year – my dad was adamant that I spend my time learning and participating during the school year. But during the summer I worked a ton.

18. Where did you go most often for lunch? I didn't really eat lunch and if I did I usually brought it from home and ate it in the hallway while reading a book. (See #5 and 8)

19. Have you gained weight since then? oh, hell yes, but so has most of the rest of my class.

20. What did you do after graduation? I worked at Arby's 40-50 hours a week. I was on their beck and call list. Then I went to college where I met a very good friend the first day and we've actually stayed in contact. Crazy.

21. When did you graduate? 1993.

22. Who was your prom date? Why is this question down here? I went with Scott my sophomore year – the blind date. No dates junior or senior – I was 'too cool' to be dragged there by a guy.

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10 year reunion? We didn't have one. That's how 'together' my class is/was.

24. Who was your home room teacher? We didn't have homeroom; but our advisor was Mr. Gunderson and someone else I don't remember.

25. Who will repost this after you? Whoever really feels like they need to relive the past. Me? I'm just scared to touch my new camera and break it the first day so I thought I'd do this instead.

YAY for Internet shopping

This is on its way to me via Circuit City. *sigh* Look how pretty!

It's 3am...do you know where your pillow is?

Just wanted to say good morning since it's 3am and I'm the only one up anywhere!

*maniacal laughter*

Someday I'll learn how to shut my mind off and sleep a full 8 hours! woohoo!

Sometimes you just know

Today has been a rough day. Not completely; granted I had some really good moments. But overall, looking back, this was a rough day. It's weird actually...I'm feeling a bit like Felicia in Witches of Eastwick when she says to her husband, “Something is inside me, Clyde. Something is crawling inside me. I can feel it. Something evil.” Not that I'm going to throw up cherries or anything but still...I just feel bitter or something...

It's one of those things. As June came to an end, I looked ahead to July (as most people do) and I knew, just glancing at my schedule, that July was going to be both an icky and a great month. It would be rough. I knew that...I knew it as June ended, and I should have done something about it. I should have prepared better, I should have been eating better to prepare, I should have ran more, I should have gotten laid or something just to make June end well as a sure-to-be rough month loomed ahead.

But did I? No, of course not! That would be too logical. Instead I ended June trying to get over an illness, feeling lathargic and crappy from it, and stressed and tensed out for the upcoming week-long family reunion/one week of work/two weeks of deployment. Things were coming at me faster than I could say 'boo' and I just wanted to curl up and hide from it all.

Last week was actually great to see the family again. And despite a few extremely tense moments, I had a great time. We met up in the Wisconsin Dells and went to a water park, a train museum, rode the duck boats, swam and drank a lot. It was great. I spent the weekend recouping by holing up in my apartment with Harry Potter and my computer (yes, I know I didn't blog – sorry).

Today was my first day back to work in 10 days. And as expected, it was tense. I have a lot to get done in four days and on top of that there's this form that has to be filled out for someone's promotion and it's fallen on me to do it. There's a whole story surrounding this and I won't go into it but it's really frustrating to me that I have to do this because others didn't. Another person who was up for a similar promotion had all the paperwork filled out before he even met the promotion board, but the owner of the one that I have to fill out doesn't even seem concerned about it. But it has to be done this week and I'm just annoyed.

Then I went to buy a new camera for the two week trip starting Sunday and Best Buy is out and now I live in a town where there is only ONE Best Buy. How is that possible? Oh yeah, I live in the sticks.

So I'm a little sad and frustrated right now. Sorry.

I am thankful for the little, vital things that keep me going – a great email from a friend I miss a lot, a movie that same friend's husband likes because it reminds him of college, the All-Star game and salsa from Harry & David. Hopefully I'll pull out of my funk. Sorry folks.

Pixar has done it again

Ratatouille is awesome.

Do I really need to say more? I will, just because often a one liner of a post kind of sucks. So here you go.

Ratatouille was awesome! (The exclamation point adds so much more, does it not?)

But seriously, this was a great movie. I was truly hooked from beginning to end, moments on the edge of my seat, at times laughing out right when no one else in the theatre was, other times tearing up ever so slightly (I am a sap, you know).

And I love the message – that not everyone can do everything, and that's okay. And that sometimes you have to drop your prejudices at the door and believe that someone you may least expect could be the resident expert on the topic at hand.

I'm not going to give any spoilers here, but I do highly recommend going.

Rambling confessions

TV

I love “The Starter Wife” on usanetwork. This is such a great show! I'm sad tonight is the season finale (after only a few short weeks! - why? Why would they do that?)

(Spoiler alert) I really do love that Molly woke up with Lou. Lou is so awesome. For some reason I find him so attractive. I shouldn't but I do. I can't help it. I'm allowed a crush, aren't I? Holy crap, Lou even mentioned the 'wife' word! WOW! And yet in the end, she lets him go. I totally understand wanting to start over anew on your own, but man! Lou is so great!

Reading between the lines.

I also love watching tv shows with closed captioning on...it's one of those things I do (it annoys my friends, but then I don't miss anything). But on some of the tv shows they actually have lines that show up on CC that don't actually get said. It's great. It kind of adds to the show and you wonder if they meant for it to be a voice over or if the character just forgot to say it or maybe the sound track didn't work for a bit or something. It's fun.

PB love

I've recently discovered PB Loco. Mmm good. That's all I've got to say about that. Except this: try it! If you live in TC, check it out at the mall of death (I actually haven't been there specifically, (the PB Loco store, not the mall of death) but I hear it's great!).

Running

I love running. Today was the best day ever. To quote James: What a beautiful day. Warm Sun, beautiful women, and the air... is just right... for drinking. Anyway...it was a great day. TC is looming closer and closer every second. And every second I start to freak out a little bit more. Today's run gives me a bit of hope, especially considering I haven't run since Friday since I've been sick. Maybe taking a few days off was good for me. The experts say not to underestimate rest days (of course, I think they only talk about one day off, not 5). But it was one of those runs where the first two miles I felt like the sidewalk was springy and helping me bounce right back up...rising up to meet my feet, or something like that. Sunday at Mark's party during the question game, one of the questions was “what makes you feel alive” and my answer was running. Most of the guys said it made them tired, which yes it does do that to me too, but while I'm running I can't help but think about JB's comment where it's just amazing what we can do. God really has done something amazing with these things we call bodies. I'm excited I can do it. I love that I can run. Someday I'll get back into the weights (funny how that's changed for me in life – I used to just lift all the time and hated cardio...now I just run, weird.).

Moments of Clarity

I'm back in contact lenses. Some of you may have never seen me with contacts. Lucky you! Last Friday my prescription sunglasses broke at Z's game and I was blinded the rest of the night. Luckily, I picked up my new contacts the next morning and headed to Lewis Drug for sunglasses. It's nice to be able to really see again. Not that my glasses were bad, but really they weren't the best. Scratches and 4 years old is not the best way to look at life. The bad thing is my contacts make my eyes red, so I always look hungover. I guess I'll just have to start drinking heavily at night so that will be true. They say the eyes tell no lies, I'd hate to make liars out of them.

London, baby!

I miss London. Megan wrote about some of her favorites today (or at least I read it today). I really loved being in London when I was (1998, 1999 – 10 days each). The shows, the sights, the life. It was great. I want to go back.

More TV

I'm really sad that tonight is the last night for Studio 60. This is so crappy that it's ending. “She missed 'grimace'.” But all the loose ends are tied up – Danny and Jordan are together, Mark was saved by a very successful rescue mission, Matt and Harry are back together. Sigh Isn't it nice how they can clear everything up? If only they were continuing the show... but enough of that.

My fix

This weekend was Pride weekend in the cities. I didn't attend the parade or many of the festivities in the park, but I did get a Groovy pedicure and got my fix at Mark and Jeff's annual Pride party. Fun fun!

How can a girl argue with a night hanging out with all my fun gay boyfriends? I did chuckle as I was driving away at some of the oddness of the night. I hang out with straight guys too, but they'd never have a night like I did – where we talk about recipes or take pictures of each other hugging or finish the evening by playing the “question game”.

What's the question game you ask? Well, everyone writes down a question and you put it in a bowl. One person draws a question, reads it aloud and answers it. Then they pass that question to someone else who has to answer it, then draw a new question and the process is repeated. This can be quite fun, especially as the only girl, only straight girl, in the mix of an all gay boy circle. Questions like “Have you ever slept with a girl; if so, how many times; and if yes, did you puke?” are quite interesting to answer. Of course the question of who was and describe your first boyfriend is just as fun as if you were talking with your girlfriends (which essentially you are) and the entire group ooo's and ahhh's over your description of your sprinter/track star boyfriend from college.

Check out my Groovy pedicure on my weird shaped feet! :) (oh and see the awesome Jonathan Adler sheets?!)

My life revolves around TV, apparently

“God always wins.” - spoken by Harriet Hayes (played by Sarah Paulson) tonight on S60. K had a great post tonight about Word and Sacrament. Luther believed in the earthly elements with sacraments – I believe in that too...but I really do believe in faith and grace and the spiritual element of life.

My prayer life has taken a beating over the years – going to seminary really hurt my spiritual life at times – see here for one example. It's amazing the things that will change that – a friend in the hospital, a change in life patterns, a big test...etc.

How do you learn, or relearn, to pray? Is there a trick to it? Sometimes I wonder if there is a better way of doing it than the way I do. In writing you're taught to have a beginning, middle, and end. My prayers tend to be sporadic and scattered (read: scatterbrained, kind of like this post). Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my faith because I don't know how to pray, which of course scares me and I should pray about it but I don't want to pray about that the wrong way and not have it work. Does that make sense?

What's funny about that above paragraph is that I'm an OT major – is there a trick to praying? Hell, no. People scream, people cry, people dance, people sing – whatever they do, they are praying. Right? So if I talk to God while I run, or while I'm typing this blog about praying or whatever, I'm praying.

I don't know. Sometimes I worry about this. I hope God still loves me even though I don't know how to pray.

It?

(Spoiler alert)You know how in Stephen King's book, It, the children attacked by Mr. Bob Gray, aka Pennywise, get stuck in the sewer and talk to people through drains and pipes?

My bathroom sink drain is knocking and gurgling at me.

Should I be worried?

"Why don't you make like a tree and ...

...get out of here.”

Yeah, that's one of my favorite stupid lines in a movie. Back in the day I used to watch this movie every Thursday night while babysitting two girls. We would make popcorn, pull out the sofa bed and watch Back to the Future. How sad, really.

But that's not my point tonight. Tonight is the interesting play on words. Biff didn't quite have it down since the end of that phrase was supposed to be “leave”.

Leave is an interesting word. It has several meanings – well at least 2 that I have become accustomed to.

One is the evil side, usually stated with an exclamation point following it. Leave! It's angry. It's violating. It's just plain mean. Most people hear this at some point in their life, and they can take it however they want to.

I had the joy (?) of experiencing “Leave” first hand at, of all places, seminary. You'd think seminary would be an inclusive place.

Sidebar – I'm watching S60 and I'm pissed – they have the Captain's lapel pins wrong. UGH! I can't see the ribbon rack but it might be close...but the lapel pins are totally wrong! Why? Why would they do that?

Okay – back to the inclusivity of seminary – yeah, you'd think there'd be some since everyone is all about Jesus and all. Well, the second day of reading days in October of my first year (I had been there about 4 ½ months by then) I woke up to find “LEAVE” written on the white board outside my dorm room. Hmm...what to do about that. Did they (the elusive 'they') want me to go away? Did they think I wasn't seminary material (I was having my own issues with that one)? Was I too loud the night before (doubtful since I was reading and writing papers all night and asleep by 10)?

I didn't have the answers to these questions. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on. So I, being the sarcastic woman I am, wrote “I feel so LOVED!” on my board and drew an arrow to the word. Then I left for an hour or so.

I came back to find a couple people had written things like we love you and stay on my board. It was nice to have people circling the wagons and standing up for me, but the word still hurt. I never did find out who wrote it or why – i'm not sure I'd even want to know – but it still hurts today.

The memory came back today. Where I work 'leave' has a different meaning. Leave means vacation, time away from work, you're outta the office, baby! Most people write on their white boards outside their office what their status is (don't ask me why we are continuing the college trend in a professional environment, but I was practically ordered to get one my first day on the job). So often you'll see 'Mtg, back at 1230' or 'Lunch'. But today one worker had simply “leave” written on her board. It really caught me off guard.

I'm sure part of it is because I'm hypersensitive since I'm still trying to get over this illness, whatever it is, but part of it was why would you just write “leave”? Shouldn't it be “On Leave”? That would make more sense, I would think. And then, put when you'll be back. If you're that big on telling people where you are then tell them when you'll return!

Of course, I'm just against writing anything on my board – people don't need to know where I am or why I'm gone. There are people who even write 'Comp Time', like I care if they are using comp time? Why do people feel the need to tell everything to everyone? I don't know...But truly isn't the only person who needs to know their immediate supervisor? Although, I guess most people in my building are in, what they call, customer service roles and I'm not really. Though people seem to get pissed when I'm not around.

Oh did I tell you, too, that one day I was walking back to my office from the bathroom and saw a chief walking out of it? When I asked him what he needed and how I could help he said he just needed a signature stamp from my boss and he found that – which means he was searching through my drawers in my desk? Yeah. Talk about a pissy moment for Moe. I wonder what he'd do if I did that to him. Since then I have no trust for the man.

I guess maybe I need to put on my board when I go to the bathroom.

i'm sick.

suck.

Baseball, anyone?

My nephew plays on a little league team (I think that's what they call it for 9-yr-olds). Anyway, tonight I went to his game. I've seen him play before but tonight was stellar. The kids were having fun. The 2^nd baseman from the other team was a riot – he was so pumped to play. At one point as they were coming off the field he yells out, “I'll race you Nick” and took off at a dead run to the dugout. My sister and I were cracking up.

Anyway, my nephew kicked butt, especially on his last at-bat. He knocked a popper up the middle which I could have sworn would have been caught, but the kid missed it and it bounced and rolled toward center. My boy took of like a bat outta hell around 1^st and 2^nd, they overthrew him at 3^rd and he brought it in to home. Awesome! And since tomorrow is his b-day, it was especially sweet.

I told him that the reason they won was because I was wearing my Indians hat again. That was the only reason they won, right? Sure it was...

But my favorite part of the night was watching the players faces – as they hit, as they scored, as they made a great play. It was so fun to see how excited and happy they were. I think adults forget about that fabulous feeling of freedom and fun.

Why is that we lose that as we get older? Why can't we remember the fun in life? I think about the Friends episode where Phoebe runs. She just takes off like she's being chased, arms flailing about. She tells Rachel about how it felt to run as a kid, how fun it was to run away from Satan (the neighbor's dog). I miss that feeling.

I had a dream the other night that brought it back. I was running with my running buddy from work and for once HE was the one who was breathing heavy and not keeping up. I, on the other hand, had this great stride – long and lean and fierce and free – and I was just running like the wind, no problems breathing, just taking it all in. (Now if I could just get that stride down I'll be set for October – maybe I just need to remember Satan chasing me.)

To quote Ralphie, "Fuuuuuuuuddddddgggggeee"

Tomorrow marks 120 days until the race. Today, today's date, four months from it I will be running. I will be running my flabby butt and hoping to stay upright for 26.2 miles.

I'm scared. Some days more than others, some days less. Some days I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I signed up. I had no idea what I was getting into, and really today I still don't.

What is this going to be like? Hell on earth but with a glorious ending? Will I be able to make it? Am I just stupid? Yes.

I read a lot, which can be good and bad. I'm making plans of what I'm going to wear, how I'm going to pack my fuel belt (with accelerade!) and how often I'll drink/eat (i.e. Re-fuel). Debbie has said she'd cheer me on throughout the race, and be there at the end with whatever I need (endurox, flip flops, new socks and watermelon – and maybe a towel).

What's bad is that I have the ending planned, but I just don't know how the actual event is going to take place. I have 4 months. FOUR months. Just 120 days.

120 days.

Interesting Twist

So a few months ago NBC pulled Studio 60 off the air for The Black Donnelly's and rightfully so since for some stupid reason people didn't watch the show even though it was artfully and intelligently written.

But ironically now is the time when the start getting into the tougher issues – like the war and, my favorite, the difference between a Soldier and an Airman. (one works for the Army, one for the Air Force – can you guess which?).*

What pisses me off is that all these issues they are bringing in now at the end – Jordan with her rough pregnancy, the cord around the baby's neck, the kidnapping of Tom's brother, how to show the information on the news, what about the other two Airmen kidnapped (not just Tom's brother), etc. - all these issues could have sucked more people in and maybe saved the show.

It took me awhile to get into the West Wing when it was on, but a class project on Ethics and the Bible and Luther pulled me into it. Unfortunately I haven't watched all the seasons, but bits and pieces of most. (Someday I'll actually rent them all and watch them). Aaron Sorkin is a brilliant writer, and the actors were phenomenal. I see no difference with Studio60. It's brilliantly written again and just so good! (It's late and I'm running out of adjectives.)

Anyway, there are about 4 episodes left, I'm guessing, so if you'd like to witness some great TV before it disappears into neverland, check it out, Thursdays 9/8central.

*Seriously, I hate when Airmen are called Soldiers, and vice versa.