It's already the 9th?

Where has the beginning of May gone? Wow! Time just flies on by, doesn't it? Just a reminder to value every minute.

This first week of May has been really good. My training last week was awesome - extra runs on top of FXB, the 10K Saturday with a great time even with walking (which tells me if I hadn't walked I would have gotten a PR), a nice Mom's day yesterday. Life is good.

So I thought I should add some pics, because I just don't do that as much anymore.

This is MS and his Mom. I like this photo because even though she's kind of bent over, she has a look on her face that cracks me up.


Me and my Mom. :) I love her. She's wonderful. We actually had met for church yesterday AM, then went out for breakfast, and then met up for lunch with MS and his mom. Fun times. :)


So Saturday's race was for breast cancer. So many people in my life have been touched with it. They give you a sticker you can put on your back, "I'm running for..." and write all the names. I don't do this for a couple reasons: 1) Too many times when I'm running I end up stepping on a sticker that has fallen off of someone in front of me and that seems almost as bad as when KC yells at me for accidentally stepping on the handicapped stencil in parking lots; 2) there are just too many people in my life who have been affected by this dreadful disease - I'm afraid the card would be too full and/or I'd forget someone. So I run and I think of all of them while I run. And I say prayers for them in between saying prayers for myself that I can finish the run. *grin*

Specifically Saturday I was on the Boots for Boobs team. A gal I work with is recovering from her Mom's death earlier this year. "Sam" had suffered from breast cancer for years. But we've had a lot of others at work who have suffered and survived. I had two friends in high school whose mom's both died. I know others out there, near and far, who have been touched. So I run. And I run with a vengeance:

Admin Pro Day

First a shout out to Kat whose birthday is today. Happy Birthday, my dear! Hope it's a great one!

So sometimes you just forget how great you have it. I think a lot of people I work with forget just how great things are where we are. We have a good job, a steady job, with great hours, great benefits and awesome people to work with and for. But we've been doing it so long, we forget all that.

This week is Administrative Professionals Week (or day - yesterday, I think or is it really today?). I thought about this briefly last week when I heard an ad for flowers and I remembered how my dad would always buy mom flowers this week because she took care of all the bills and shopping and stuff at home.

Well, today Boss1 came into my office with an envelope and said, "Happy Admin Pro day!" I was shocked, "That's today?" I was amazed. He gave me a really nice card and an iTunes gift card with the note, "Find some motivating music for your marathon training." Ahhh...a guy who gets me. Despite the fact he doesn't understand it, at least he's supporting my love of marathoning. :) Yay!

Then before I left for lunch, Boss2 gave me his gift - a 6-pack of Guinness! Another man who understands me! His concern, "I don't know when you can drink it" since I'm on this FXB program. I said, "Sundays!" He laughed and said, "There you go, you can make up for lost time this Sunday!" Not that I'll drink all at once, but it's nice anyway.

It's so great to have bosses who appreciate you. And really I am blessed. These two men are fabulous to work with/for. We laugh, we joke, we are serious when need be, and we work really well together. I hope we can continue this for a long time to come.

Easter 2011

So I realized that I haven't posted pictures of anything in awhile, so here you go.

Easter 2011 was held at our house. We had invited my mom and YOB as well, but they ended up having other plans. So we had a lot of food for three people. MS's mom came over so that was nice.

Below is a pic of me and MS's mom.


MS and his mom. Check out that table! Wow, I'm good. :)


My first ham! The things floating are raisins. The recipe was okay but it didn't really do much for me, so I probably won't be doing that one again.


And then the culmination of the entire meal: My homemade pumpkin pie! Crust from scratch and pumpkin from the garden. Nothing from a can here. :)


Happy Easter everyone!

SUAR

Shut Up and Run! Hello! Those are words of wisdom.

And SUARis offering up a giveaway! Check it out! Click on the link! :)

By the way, Sporty Girl Jewelry is awesome. :)

Back to back

My back has been tweaked beyond belief (well, maybe not beyond belief, but it hurts and I'm a wimp) since Sunday. I can't for the life of me figure out what I did (wow, I exaggerate a lot here, don't I?). MS keeps telling me I "overdid" it last week with my workouts. I don't know why 9 workouts in 7 days would be "overdoing" it but he seems to think so. I especially don't know why it would be that way when I felt GREAT during every single one of them.

So what caused this? I don't know, but I'm annoyed. I haven't ran since Saturday and I'm getting antsy. Not only am I antsy because I haven't ran, but I have a half marathon coming and I haven't been doing a lot of running, only FXB. (Yes, I decided to switch to the half.)

But I'm also antsy because when I can't workout I get somewhat bored. And when I'm bored, I eat. And I track my food so my caloric intake this week has been outragous. Well, it's been about 1700 calories the last two days which probably isn't bad, but when I'm supposed to only eat 1300 (to drop some pounds) and I had been averaging around 1700 WITH exercise, I'm not a happy camper. I feel heavy. I feel flabby. I feel ick.

So I'm trying to up my protein today to "fill me up". But that only works so well because I can't eat the entire can of Blue Diamond Oven Roasted Cinnamon Brown Sugar Almonds because there's too much fat in them. I bought some jerky this afternoon, but when I bit down on the first piece I about knocked my jaw loose (it hurts now too). And then I bought gum to distract me from being hungry by keeping my jaw busy, but that just gets annoying and also makes my jaw tired.

Wow, I'm a whiner today. But Man, I'm annoyed. And hungry. And really wanting popcorn right now, but "no popcorn, eat cheese" keeps echoing in my head.

My other problem (I might as well lay it all out here since I'm already whining) is that 3 1/2 weeks ago when I started FXB they encouraged us to drink 80oz of water a day. I'm up to over a gallon (plus tea if I have that for lunch and milk for dinner). My new hobby is peeing and, while 3 weeks ago it did this, it doesn't keep me full anymore. I used to be full because I was drinking so much water, but now I'm still hungry.

I hate being hungry. I hate not being able to work out (especially when I want to because I don't always want to). I'm crabby. Can you tell?

Multiple thoughts

I have had 6 or 7 posts running through my head today, and for the life of me I can't really remember them now...as usual. It's sad because I know at the time they were really good.

I've been reading Kristin Armstrong's book Mile Markers. It's been eye-opening and motivating. She had a chapter about peace and passion (or maybe they were two chapters...I need to do some re-reading). But finding your passion can bring you peace and often what you do for a job isn't necessarily what brings you peace. For her, she knits and bakes and runs.

I'm very similar in that aspect. I haven't baked in a very long time and I do miss it. I know for my honey I can't bake during the winter, or at least unless he's working out on a regular basis (which really isn't during the winter). But I do miss it. I miss baking...it was often where I'd find my peace.

So I'm working to restructure my life a little. I miss writing. I need to work on that more and make a point to write more. I have a couple different blogs (4) so I should be able to find something to write somewhere. But I also wonder if I shouldn't work on a book of some sort.

I just have to find my story.

Just about

Up until yesterday I was having a great weekend. Friday night I had the best kickboxing class yet. Dave pushed us on a circuit-like training. I paired up with a FIT member and she said I was pushing her. Ha! It was great. When she was on the bag, I was at the mirror doing squats or crunches or mountain climbers. Then on the bag I was just kickin' it hard. It was great.

My back started to feel a little tweaked but not bad the next morning. I went to resistance training - upper body - at a class that was so packed I could barely find room to do what was required. But I made it through. Then I headed to our running store for a great 5K with a friend from DM. That basically killed the morning.

Then MS and I went to see "The King's Speech" which was awesome. I wasn't sure MS would like it but he seemed to enjoy it. It probably wouldn't have been his first choice (or any choice) but I'm glad he agreed to see it. It was great.

Sunday, though, is when my back really started to hurt. We went to church and came home in the rain. Our road is ripped up to hell because of the recent onslaught of precipitation, so I opted to take a rest day and not run. In some ways that was a good idea, in others not so much since my back really started to hurt and I didn't get a run in today either.

Anyway, Sunday afternoon, I met up with Jake & Ava and YOB to paint ceramic eggs like we did last year. The kids seemed pretty hyper and YOB looked really tired. We had a good time, though. The bad thing is the eggs won't be ready until Monday, which kind of defeats the purpose. Last year they pushed to have them done at least by the day before Easter, but not this year (I might check anyway). At one point though, I was getting up from my chair to get Ava a paper towel and I could barely walk. Oh, not good.

MS and I went out to eat at the fancy Italian restaurant last night. I had a Groupon, so at least it wasn't too bad in cost. The food was okay, but I don't know that we'd go back again. It was nice to go out though. When we got home, MS drew me an Epsom salt bath, which was sweet. I got to have a hot bath and read my book. Awesomeness.

Today my back has not gotten much better. I really wanted to go in and run on the treadmill (though the weather wasn't too bad, so I could have run outside), but I didn't want to risk it. Heating pad, extra pillows on the couch so I'm sitting upright instead of the relaxed state we normally are in, and laundry - that was my day. I took another bubble bath tonight just for some heat on the bath. And I read again (I miss reading).

I'm hoping tomorrow my back will feel better. I missed kickboxing tonight because of it. Tomorrow is resistance bands, but maybe if it feels okay I can get on the treadmill at some point.

I'm mildly crabby. I don't like feeling like this. Hopefully it's temporary.

Great weekend!

Finally! A weekend where I got to do fun things! It has been great!!!

Friday night I had a great night of kickboxing, which led me to be very tired and I overslept my class Saturday AM. I didn't mind. I was going to hang out with Emily all day, so it was worth it.

Emily and I were busy! We ran a couple errands, got some yummy cupcakes (which I couldn't eat until Sunday), went to the Butterfly House and saw the new exhibit of fish, looked at oodles of toys, painted pottery, saw a cake decorating contest, ate fish at Applebees (she likes shrimp and I love their Cajun tilapia), and then to B&N to look at books (my favorite!). I had thought we could go to a movie and see Gnomeo & Juliet since I hadn't seen it yet, and she hadn't either, but she wanted to hang with her parents while they ran errands instead. Of course I think when she realized they weren't going to be buying her toys (like I didn't) that maybe the movie would have been a better idea. But by then I was moving on to my next set of plans. :) It was still a great day though. I love spending time with her and luckily she likes to spend time with me too.

Sunday after church (Yes, E, I went to church - with MS even) I went for a 5.5 mile run while MS studied. It was such a great morning - grey and cool - perfect for running. We cleaned up when I got back and went to Em's for her birthday party. She turns 11 today but since it's a Monday we celebrated yesterday. Such a fun time! YOB was there with his kids, Doreen (one of Em's aunts) brought her grandson Noah who is super cute, and Kristi (Em's cousin) had her daughter there. So many kids - and then adults too. :) I'm glad her party was on Funday Sunday so I could enjoy the food. My sis makes a good spread for parties - pork sandwiches (and pork is not my favorite, but her's is pretty good), salad, and of course, Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cake. :) Mmmm. Doreen and I get along really well too. It's funny how I get along with older adults so well. But that's another blog for another time.

MS and I came home after the party and I had a great bonus. I got to READ! Seriously, straight up reading for fun! MS wanted to finish one of his chapters he was studying so I read my book. I'm currently reading Mile Markers by Kristin Armstrong. I haven't had much time lately to just relax and indulge in one of my favorite hobbies, so I was really thankful for this time. Then MS and I had a pizza (Funday Sunday tradition, it seems) and watched a movie.

Today has been great. I slept in until 7:30! Craziness! I'm sure part of that is from the insult of sugar to my body yesterday, but I didn't care. I vegged for awhile then went for a short 3.5 mile run. MS called to see if I'd come see the AL place in our town. We checked it out and, in my opinion, it's a great option for his Mom. We'll just have to get in. She's on a waiting list now, but hopefully in the next month or so. And now I'm just finishing watching Hairspray (a former Monday tradition resurfacing), washing clothes and cleaning. I love these days. It's restoring faith in humanity - or at least restoring some resemblance of the woman I am in myself. :)

Now I'm debating if I should watch Six Feet Under or Friends or something else. :) I do love that we have a DVD player that's working again. And with MS out running his errands I can do what I need to do. :) Now if only I could bake...

Week 2 begins

I completed week 1 of the FXB challenge and it went pretty well, I'd say. I made it to 4 of the 6 classes (one being sick and the other work conflict), so that made me glad. I do enjoy the kickboxing - it's a nice way to work off some aggravation. The resistance bands are good too, and while I hate them, I know they'll be beneficial in time too.

So now we're into April. It will be a good month. I just need to keep my head up and my feet moving. If I slow I start to think too much and that's just a set up for dysfunction. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and I can get some good runs in soon. I'm missing it.

Finishing out another month

It's hard to believe that March is over, or that it's 9:06 pm for that matter. This month has flown by. It feels like just the other day we were changing our clocks and now we're moving into April. Crazy.

The 10-wk program is going well. After recovering from Monday, the last three days have been great. I really like the kick-boxing days - it's nice to actually hit something for once...years of TaeBo and KenpoX and punching the air is paying off. But the bigger workout is with the resistance bands. I hate these but I can feel them working, so I'll stick with it.

And the eating plan with the program is going well too. I haven't had pop in 2 days, and I haven't had caffeine since Sunday. My new hobbies are eating and peeing it seems, but if it helps, I'll make it work.

For now, March is over and I'm moving forward. Blessings to you all!

Ups & Downs

That's about all I can say for the last few days - ups & downs.

So I won this 10-wk body shaping session thing. I signed up, agreed to do it - I did talk with them about my marathon training. They said they had a gal in the winter session who is a marathoner and her time and strength improved. So hopefully that will happen. I did find it funny that at the orientation they kept telling us that our weight probably won't change, but we'll lose inches. That's great...I actually need to weigh less - less weight=faster moe.

Thursday we had a retirment party for one of our old-timers. KC, MB and I sang the anthem together and sounded great. I love singing with them. I wish we had more gigs, but then we'd need to practice more and with their 2.5 children, time is limited.

MS and I had a great weekend. We took a little road trip Friday, then spent the weekend on the couch watching movies. Yesterday we ran errands and I proceeded to get a migraine and nausea. It was awesome. Not. I haven't thrown up since college (and that was alcohol induced) so last night was really weird for me - and for him. He didn't know what to do and I didn't know what to tell him. I feel better today, but not 100%. I still had a headache most of the day (it finally went away about 45 minutes ago), and have had the chills a bit too. Weird. I don't like being sick.

Anyway, my first class for my 10-wk program is tonight. It was supposed to be last night but alas... Anyway.

Da Winnah!!

I'm sitting at work laughing my head off today. I just got an email from a co-worker that said, "I just heard on the radio that Ben and Patty are going to pump up Moe. The winner of this weeks facebook friend. Is this our Moe??"

Yesterday, I signed up for the local radio station giveaway for a 10-week body makeover session at a local place. I was laughing as I signed up even...because with my luck I'd win and I don't know that I really want it, though I know it would be beneficial. But then again, I rarely win anything, so why not?

So when my co-worker sent that email I busted out laughing. So now I have this 10-week body makeover session (still waiting for details because I think it starts Saturday) and I'm curious if a) I should accept it and b) if I can make it work in my schedule and c) what MS will think about all of it.

The 10-week thing doesn't worry me too much other than I have a marathon in 9 weeks...well 8 by the time it would start. And that's totally different training.

Lord knows I need the help, and having a free workout worth $399 may be well worth my time and energy if it can get me on track and ready for the marathon and for summer. I have a lot of work to do, and maybe being forced into going would help. Of course, because I'm NOT paying for makes the incentive to go a little less because I really have nothing invested in it...nothing but myself, I guess. :)

So do I take it and do the program? Or should I give it back to another lucky winner?

Expiration Date

My dear friend KC sent me this email today. I've seen it before, not sure if it's true, but I do think it's a good reminder that we need to live in the moment. And it's a good reminder that sometimes we need to be like children and stop for the "something shiny" because it may be something amazing.

THE SITUATION
In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made...
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Enjoy life NOW ... it has an expiration date.

Discardia time again!

Today starts another season of Discardia - YAY! So I'm working on purging my life, once again, from all the extra clutter and crap that inflicts my life - not just physically, but emotionally as well.

So this weekend I signed up on a website to track my food and calories and exercise so I can lose 15 pounds by the May marathon. I need to get rid of my winter weight. I know it'll make running a LOT easier and I'll feel better about myself as well - which will help mentally. In 2009 when I was 15 pounds lighter than I am now, I was happy, because I felt good and ready to go and as a result the marathon was awesome. I need that.

On the paper side, I spent the morning after church going through my pile of mail from the week, as well as all the extras that had piled up in my basket by my side of the couch. It was good to purge of the excess. I still have more to go through, of course, but it's a great start.

Yesterday, I updated my marathon scrapbook, too, which puts my running in perspective. It's fun to see how I've progressed (or not) throughout the last few years. I only started running in 2007, so it's still new. I'm really thankful MS got me started with the scrapbook. And he's been super supportive this week, riding his bike alongside me as I've been running. He's a lifesaver.

All in all, this will be a good Discardia, I think. It's Spring and Spring cleaning is running rampant in me and I'm excited to make some changes.

The need to learn how to play

Today I saw this picture of my adorable Goddaughter fresh and happy in the midst of playtime. Her mom commented on how they have to pin her hair back now because her bangs are so long they get in the way of her playing.

That statement made me smile. And smile fully. Partly because my Goddaughter is like me in that aspect - I hate having hair on my face. It gets in the way and makes it difficult, if not annoying, to enjoy things fully. It's a nuisance. But the statement made me smile because playing is so important that my Goddaughter has to be prepped for it.

Play time is so essential and I think as adults we forget that. So much of life is work, home work, work, etc., that we forget to play. When was the last time you were on a swing? Or were running with complete abandonment? Phoebe, from Friends, said once about running that it was funnest when you were running from "Satan" (the neighbors dog).

There's that reckless freedom about it, about play time, that I think adults fear. I know I do. I don't have control! I need control! But I'm missing out on some of the best moments in life because of that fear. Why can't I just let go and enjoy each and every moment? How do I find that place deep within myself and let it out?

I need to spend more time with the young people in my life - my nieces, my nephews, my Goddaughter. I know they can teach me. I know I can learn to play...if I can get out of my head long enough to let it happen.

Road trip!

MS and I took a mini road trip yesterday to a nearby city. He had a tax appointment and I wanted/needed to do some shopping. Our road trips tend to be a split between super fun and super revealing, depending on our conversations at the time.

For fun we started things out right. I have such random CDs in my car and so as he was flipping through them he came across Schoolhouse Rock. I grinned and he said, "You want to listen to this?" I said, "At least track 2, 'cuz it's my favorite." Track 2 is "Three is a Magic Number". I love that song. MS just laughed at me as I sang along, bobbing my head in the white-girl way as we drove down the road. :) This started a lot of singing throughout the day. Later we sang "Rawhide" and "Minnie the Moocher" off the Blues Brothers soundtrack. And we had a little "Cumbia De Los Muertos" by Ozomatli from the Never Been Kissed soundtrack. I think by that point MS thought I was losing it.

We also talked about travel...again. I really do love to travel; MS does not. But we talked about places I want to go, places he wants to go. I think we'll get to a compromise but we're still working on it. There are so many places I still want to see in this world - Ireland, Australia, London (again), Paris (briefly), Rome, and even places in the states. MS has traveled a lot already in his life so he's good to just stay home. But I think he understands my need to get away when I said, "I can't go through my life with just going to work, then home, then work, then home, then work, then home. It's too much. I need more."

We're getting there. Our trip was great though. MS got his taxes done, I got my necessary shopping done, MS got some new kicks and I oogled over the tiny Chucks for toddlers. :) Tonight, is date night. I'm really excited for this one. :)

A little luck o' the Irish, a little God, and Pi(e)

Yesterday was the Irishman races in our town. There were a few of my co-workers who signed up for the 5K as the team challenge. I, stupidly, signed up for all 3 as I have in the past. But calling the races an Irishman confused a few who hadn't run before, thinking it was just the one 5K race. A little education was given. :)

Anyway, I was actually psyched for these races. Normally they're fun and while I haven't been running as much as I'd like, I felt like I could do these fairly well. That was until...I woke up to find 25 mph winds from the WNW which was the main direction we were running for all 3 races. Ugh. I can handle the cold but I hate...hate...hate the wind. Suddenly I toyed with not running and I'm not usually one to back out of races. Hell, in 2009 I even attempted a marathon though my knee had been killing me (I stopped at 13.1) and last year I even ran the full half when I had horrible chest congestion and ended up sick for 2 weeks after. I just don't Not Go to races.

So I continued to psych myself up and decided to not worry about time, but just to finish. I got to run with a few friends Tom, Tom and Sara, and saw a few other runners from the area which was fun.

After the first 5mile race, we went to the local tavern for a free Guinness, as is tradition for these races. I normally don't go in between races because it's my time to recoup, but I went yesterday. I was glad I did! Not only did I get a Guinness but I got to keep the glass! And both were free! YAY! That made the wind and weather all the more worthwhile.

The 5K was colder than the 5mile and the 1 mile even colder than both. I relished the 90 minutes between the 5K and 1 mile...I sat in my car and read! I got time to just sit and read!! (plus I got to catch the end of Wait, Wait...which I always miss). But the time to just sit and read was so wonderful! I forgot how much I love that! I haven't had much time to just sit and read as I used to...Oh how I miss it.

After the races I came home and had a long, hot shower and ate half a pizza. I was so hungry and so excited to just relax on the couch. That's the true reward after running...and something to keep me running.

Today MS is working, so I'm on my own. I went to my old church, that being the one I used to go to on a regular basis when I lived on my own. Big O had a great sermon and one I needed to hear. I am a baptized child of God. I am saved. I am loved. I am blessed. Oh how I needed to hear that. I wanted to chat with Big O a bit more but he had a line up of little old ladies who wanted to talk to him too, so I'll have to set up a time to meet with him later.

Then I went to Target and the grocery store as I used to after church. Then home to relax, study, read, and make an apple pie for Pi Day tomorrow. Plus I have apples that need to be baked. :) It's a good day.

Fat Tuesday

I have never understood the point of pancakes on Fat Tuesday for Mardi Gras. Maybe someone can explain that to me. Of course, I also have never understood the "giving up" tradition of Lent. My SIL is giving up FB for Lent. Another friend is giving up chocolate. Another Chipotle.*

Granted I agreed to do a 15lbs of Lent with a friend from Seminary on FB. We're tracking our weight loss from March 9 until Easter (April 24). That's a good 40 days to work on losing weight and getting in shape. JG hooked me up with a good workout, and my goal is to do that daily and get back to a good habit.

Part of that goal, or Lenten discipline as it were, is to learn and understand that the gift God gave me of my body is to be treasured and adored. I often ...hate is a bad word... really dislike my body. But the truth it, I haven't been treating it well and it deserves better.

Another Lenten discipline is for me to really appreciate life. I bought a gratitude journal after I read Andrea had gotten one too. I really like it and I need to be reminding myself that life is good and show my gratitude for it.

I want my Lenten journey to be just that - a journey. A journey into my inner self where I can learn more about me and what makes me happy. A journey with my outer self where I can strengthen my body so I can physically handle anything that comes my way. I have some lofty goals for running this year, and I need a strong body to do this.

I know I can do this. I can be a strong, confident woman, so help me God.

*Update- I'm not saying any of these things are bad. They aren't. I need to find another option - adding to my life instead of removing. :) That's just me.

Better

Today was a much better day. I was impressed that I got up at 4:17 again and made it to the gym by 5...they actually had to open it up for me. Ha! I got in 4 good miles, and while slow, they felt pretty good. I got to run in the dark because the guys, while making fun of me, finally realized that it isn't so bad to workout in the dark - cooler, TVs show up better, and you don't have to see how sweaty and rough others look. :)

It's now 8:30 pm and I've been up for 16 hours and I'm still pretty alert. It's so weird. I don't know why I'm not tired, but I'm not. It's strange how adrenaline works.

I also got "attempt #2" from my trainer. It's much more scaled down for a training plan but still will help me get stronger for the marathon. I also checked on my marathon in May and I do have the option to switch to the half up to 3 weeks prior, so I'm going to see how the training goes the next 8 weeks and then make a decision. MS is all excited that i can do a half, but I don't want to discount the possibility of a full just yet.

And I signed up for the Irishman again - 5Mile, 5K and 1Mile all in one day. I was just going to run the 5Mile but there's a group getting together at work to run the 5K and if I'm going to do both I might as well run the last one too. Bragging rights are good.

So today was a good day. But I probably should be going to bed so I can get some sleep before I get up for another run and a day of fun.

A running post, for lack of a better title

I know I usually put these posts on my other blog, the running one (or the top secret one), that is, but today it's not just about running. Well, that's the basis for why I'm writing but there's more to it than that. And since I'm at work, I'm going to hope I can get through this quickly and easily.

I read a blog post today about self-confidence. This is one huge area where I'm lacking. I lack self-confidence, not just in running but in life in general. But we'll get to that in a moment.

I lack S-C (as we'll call it) in running because I just wonder sometimes if I can even do it. I know I can run and I make it through races well enough, but not great enough. I often feel slow, sluggish, Clydesdale-ish (in fact, for some races, because of my weight, I would actually be put into a category called this). I try to lose weight but I struggle with that, which causes my S-C to drop even more. I can feel the fat rolls over my pants while I sit at work. So I sleep lying flat on my back because I know that at least the fat I "feel" is smooth and flat (though I also subconsciously know it's all flopping on the bed under me instead).

I thought, once, that running would help my S-C. Which maybe is why I keep forcing myself to run marathons. Those aren't something "normal" people do. I'm told a few times a month that I'm crazy for running them, but I'm desperately trying to find something to raise my S-C to a level where I'll be comfortable with myself. So I continue to sign up for them.

Of course, then I'm stupid and I sign up for a marathon in May (which I'm pretty sure I vowed not to do ever again after the 2009 incident with my knee). And not only did I sign up for a marathon, but also a challenge where you run a 5K the night before and the marathon the next day (3 medals!). MS made the comment last night that he wishes I was into half marathons more than fulls. Which makes me wonder if, once again, my thinking has been so skewed that I can't see past my nose. I don't know.

I can't seem to figure out what works best for me. I'm a workaholic so ditching work to run isn't an option (though I've tried that a few times). I'm not really a morning person but lately that seems to be the only time to run, though it requires a dreadmill which makes me annoyed. I'd love to run on the bike trails at night but that takes away from my already limited time with MS. But maybe that later option is what needs to happen, at least for the next few months. I don't know. I'm very conflicted, which doesn't help my S-C.

And that confliction and low S-C is hampering the rest of my life as well. I'm constantly second-guessing my decisions and thought processes. And those decisions, if I even make them, are difficult to make to begin. I've never been a great decision maker, but low S-C isn't helping when I do.

How do I find this S-C? Where can one get it? What can I do? I don't know anymore. I keep trying new things, buying books to read to help, but I don't have time to read as I'm working on an online class for work, have a couple other online classes I need to do for work, am knitting a blanket (sanity fix), and trying to get my runs in for marathon training.

I'm a wee bit lost.

Hired

I spoke with my former trainer from long ago this week and he's agreed to help me with a training plan for my marathon coming up. I'm excited for this, despite that the plan is pretty intensive. I'm going to have to get to bed earlier and get up earlier so I have time to get everything in. For the most part it's only Wednesday mornings that will be really early, but Friday is a little long too. It'll be good. I just have to do it. Right?

Over stimulated

The alarm went off at 4:43 this morning, jerking me awake from my deep slumber. I snoozed once and got up 5 minutes later at 4:48. I then was out the door shortly after 5, at the gym at 5:30 and on the dreadmill at 5:35. I had 2 minutes of peaceful bliss - the lower lights on in the main part of the gym, but the lights by the treadmills off, one tv on silent but with closed captioning and no one else around.

*sigh of utter contentment*

Then a guy showed up and turned on the radio - loud - then came up stairs and turned on the lights - bright - then turned on another tv - too much too look at! - and then started another treadmill - louder.

My zen was broken. And by 6 we had a whole party of people running or ellipitcating or biking. By 6:15 I was d.u.n. done. I didn't get the full run in I should have, but I got more in and was calmer than I was yesterday ("I'm calmer than you are.").

Yesterday I ran around 1:30 pm. I thought maybe I could have some zen because most people run at noon. Apparently I'm wrong in this. The dreadmills were packed at 1:30 and by 1:50 I couldn't focus at all. It's amazing to me that I have trouble focusing with that many people running next to me and the 4 tvs on in front of me and the radio blaring, but I'm okay with focusing (until I hit the wall) during a marathon where there's the same, if not maybe more, stimulation all around me. Maybe it's because it's so condensed and closed in at the gym that it throws me off.

MS and I had talked about me getting use of my iPod again to help motivate me on the dreadmill. I thought about that this morning but I think maybe earplugs and blinders would be better.

Celebrating the president's

MS and I both had 4 days off at the same time for once. This is a rarity in our world, so I was excited we could take advantage of it.

Sadly, I was sick all last week and with MS's low white blood cell count, that meant no kissing at ALL...still...until I'm better.

But we still had a nice weekend. I went home early from work on Friday so I could rest. I got the joy of watching the Corey's in License to Drive, a "cheesy 80s flick" from ago. And I rested. Saturday MS and I vegged for a bit and then went into town to see "I Am Number Four" which turned out to be a great movie (at least in my perspective).

Sunday we planned to go to church to meet up with Wayne as he started at our town's church this weekend, but the weather had turned icy icy icy so we stayed home and rested some more. I was slowly getting better and MS was great at forcing fruit and liquids down my throat so I could get better. He was wonderful, taking care of me and helping me to get better.

Monday we decided we should clean the house. I was feeling a little better and what better time to get rid of germs than when I'm getting over a cold. And, wow!, our house was dirtier than I thought. So this was a good thing despite my loathing of cleaning. But the house smelled nice and fresh once again.

Tuesday we parted briefly to run some errands. I had a lunch date with the girls and had to run into work to complete a document that Boss1 needed to sign this morning. Then we went out to dinner (two dates in 4 days- wow!) and to a county commissioner meeting regarding a development near where we live (long story).

Funny enough, we spent most of the weekend indoors, watching movies, or working on our projects online (he's doing an online scrapbook - and, well...I was sick so I played Bejeweled), and it was wonderful. We rarely just sit and veg - unless we're sick. And to be able to do that together (while I was the only one sick) was nice.

It reminded me just how lucky I am to be with MS and how wonderful he is for me. That's a good reminder to have.

Happy 6th Anniversary!

Six years ago today, I started this blog because of J-man. It's all his fault. Of course it's not his fault that I haven't written lately. I just haven't had much to say. I've been sick this past week...you'd think that'd supply all sorts of fodder, but snot and more snot does not a happy blog post make.

Hopefully I'll get back into a routine of writing again. It's been difficult but I'm working on it. I do miss writing. I've been feeling uncreative.

I tend to repeat myself

So as I started typing in several options for a title for this post I found that I have used most of them before, a few times in fact since a few of them had 1's or 2's or "again" after them.

I guess I repeat myself. Oh well.

The past week was busy but really good. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job? I really do. I had to work the weekend of the 5th but it went much better than I thought it would.

MS and I finished up the weekend and went to his friends' for the Super Bowl. I stood with K and cheered for the Steelers, while everyone else was cheering for the Packers. It was disturbing, though, to watch MS cheer for the Packers while wearing his Vikings jersey (and his Favre Vikings jersey at that). Alas, the Steelers lost, but I enjoyed watching the game.

But then Monday brought the next segment of workdays - five more to go til the weekend. I got a run in that day which was great, though on the treadmill, and got to see my nephew play some bas-foot-ketball. He was on the floor more often than not. It was pretty cute though as his 3-yr-old cousin Noah was there who repeated everything I said. Hearing, "Get in the game, Zach!" from an adorable little voice was almost too much. :)

The rest of the week was good, though by Friday I was ready to be d.u.n. done. And since I had to work a bit this past Monday, I left early and came home to enjoy the evening.

Saturday MS and I went shopping and out to eat. Then came home for me to study and he worked on his second online-scrapbook (he's using mixbook.com). Sunday he spent the afternoon with his Mom and I went for a run (warm weather!). Of course the shock to my system made me nauseated and so by the time MS got home I was on the couch trying to settle my stomach and get rid of my headache. MS made dinner for us and it was delicious! A nice way to end the weekend.

Monday, v-day, was just another day. I had to go into work for a couple hours and MS had to work all day. I got another run in and went to another bas-foot-ketball game with Mom.

But since all of that, I've been sick. Woke up Tuesday morning after a freaky dream with a really sore throat and sinus crap. It sort of went away today, but then my head decided to fill up with cotton (I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins) and drip out my nose. I sneeze every 15 minutes and blow my nose every 10. I'm so ready for this to be over. :( I want to run!!! But until I'm better, I'm not going to risk it...even though the weather is wonderful.

LIke a long running hot air balloon

I had to use this explanation for MS tonight. But let me back up for a moment.

One - I'm not an extrovert like so many people think. I can play the part well, but it's not who I really am. I'm good with being alone. Occasionally, I like going out with people. But I'm better one-on-one.

This week has been intense. It's been good - I've gotten a lot accomplished at work, had some great comments from Boss1 during my appraisal for the last year. Projects are getting tied up and work is feeling pretty good.

But it's been BUSY. Super busy. And last night as I was driving home, I felt myself unwinding - not necessarily in a good way. I started to cry a bit, just releasing pent up energy, and so when I got home, because I know my crying disturbs MS a bit, I shut down. I sat on the couch and tried to regroup my thoughts. I ended up in an almost catatonic state - totally zoned. That was, until, I got up for dinner (which MS made so lovingly). I sat down in front of my bowl of soup and the tears just started falling. MS got worried and wondered what was wrong. "Nothing," I said. "I'm just tired." He didn't understand and I didn't know how to explain it.

So tonight, on the way home, I tried to come up with a way to explain why I fell apart a bit and why I was asleep at 7:30. Basically, I'm like a hot air balloon that had been up for 3-days straight - hot air continually blowing in it to keep it moving and upright. And then suddenly, the air was shut off and everything deflated. I was deflated...and everything I had been holding in was let out.

Funny enough, that made sense to MS and he appreciated the insight. I don't often understand why I am the way I am, but sometimes I just know that I have to shut down to recharge. And I'm better today, which is what matters.

So much yummy goodness!!

And I forgot to get pictures. Well I got a few but they didn't turn out as well as I had hoped.

I have a bunch of stuff to update, but I'm tired so you'll have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe I'll have some pictures for you. :)

Home - Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros Acoustic Cover (Jorge & Alex...

I love Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros song "Home" anyway, but this is a great, sweet cover. :)

Needed a nap

The last couple of days have been crazy busy. I got a lot accomplished, a lot of taskers added to my list, a lot of time spent away from my home, and somehow I have survived.

Thursday was a good day, getting to wear jeans to work for the day, which was awesome. My co-worker Deaner and I were trying to figure out a way we could negotiate for jeans every day of the week. We figured if we could prove more productivity we might have a shot. :)

That night I had a meeting for our volunteer conference. We have a conference in a couple of months, hopefully (we haven't gotten final approval from our supervisor who's dragging his feet), and somehow I ended up on the committee. I also got stuck on the scavenger hunt committee portion because I had a 'good idea'. I'm getting to work with some other gal who I have never met. Should be interesting. But the meeting ran long so I didn't get home until 8:30 and we all know I go to bed around that time. I did stay up until 10 since David Tutera was on WeTV and I'm minutely obsessed with him. :)

Friday was a busier than crap day. We had VIPs coming in the afternoon and so with the planning for their visit on top of trying to finish up a bunch of work and meetings I had, the day was crazy. The VIP meeting went late (another 8pm night), so I went to bed almost right away again. Don't get me wrong, the night was awesome. Our VIP meeting went really well and the cookies I bought for the event went over well...with the 3 people who each had one. I sent the rest to work with MS today so I wouldn't be tempted. Though a cookie sounds really good right now. Hmmm

So today we get up for the start of Week 4 of P90X - Yoga X. Joy. 90 minutes of fun. It went okay, but when we finished, I was tired, zenned out and chilly. So I curled up on the couch and fell asleep. I woke up briefly when MS kissed my forehead goodbye, but ended up sleeping for the 90 minutes I had to do Yoga. I felt better after that but I do remember MS asking me why I was tired.

Basically, I was overwhelmed with everything. MS even said that Friday night when I realized that I had forgotten my house keys at work. "You seem overwhelmed," he said. Uh, yes! I am, was. It's not that my job is bad...I love what I do. The rough part of it is that I don't have one job, or even two parts of a job. I have 18. There are so many little things that I have to do that they all pile up and I get overwhelmed. Add all that up with the fact that I had to have two days of extra extravertedness, and I needed a break. My brain was full; my body was exhausted from having to "be on" for so much, so often, so recently, and so close together.

The nap was good. Then I went into work and spent some great quiet time, with no one around, cleaning up my desk. Those are my favorite days. Then homemade pizza for dinner and a little knitting to tie it all up.

Lacking consistency

How is it that one week at work I'll be super productive, getting taskers completed left and right without issue. And then the next week, I'll be so unmotivated it's all I can do to keep awake? What's the trick? I know people who are always on task, really good at getting things accomplished and keep going all the time.

And here I am, trying to find a surge to get me going (which may come around the time it's time to go home - which is typical...5:30 comes around and I'm finally ready to work...only to hear the heat shut off and 5 minutes later it's colder in the office than it should be and I can't feel my fingers to even type 'help').

I don't know. But I'm open to suggestion. For now, I'll keep looking for the surge.

I have this idea...

...that I could be a chic, cool woman, one who dresses good and is really put together. I have this dream that I could be this person. And yet, I see that I am currently sitting on my couch, in sweats that have a rip in the seam (I won't say where), a sweatshirt, and my hair in a pathetic looking ponytail having done 90 minutes of yoga and killing time until I go for my 5mi run. How can I be chic and put together? Because I know that even after I get my run in and shower and get cleaned up, I'll still be in jeans and a t-shirt and hair probably back in a ponytail.

I used want to be a girl who wore dresses. I used to hope that I could pull that look off. And maybe I could, but I haven't gotten there yet and I wonder if I ever will. I live in hickville. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love my man, but this place doesn't feel like a place where I could walk around on a Saturday in a dress shopping without people asking me if I'm heading to a funeral or wedding. It's weird.

But for now, i'd just like to be "put together" and more than a slug on the couch.

The perfect dream...until I woke up

MS and I have been getting up between 4 and 4:30 lately to do P90X before I have to go to work in the AM. Usually we can sleep til 4:30 or even 4:40 and still get it all accomplished, but 3 days a week we have to start AT 4:30 or we won't even get finished.

Today was one of those days (Yoga - 90 minutes of 'fun').

But then I had the best dream EVER!! I dreamt that my alarm didn't go off until 4:39. I looked at my clock and did some quick math, realizing that if I got up to do Yoga we wouldn't get started until about 4:45 and wouldn't finish until 6:15. Which would make me late for work (shower, dress, drive to work...not enough time). SO I had to reset the alarm and go back to sleep for an hour. HAD to.

Then my real alarm went off and it was 4:11 summoning me from my warm slumber.

*sigh*

Life is Good

Life is good. You know, seriously! Life is good! I'm really happy. Despite the oddness and the weirdness and the crapiness of parts, overall Life is Good. We are truly blessed. I know sometimes it's really hard to see that, but we are. I keep reminding myself of the great things that are in my life - MS, my family - including K&E and Nika, my friends - and I realize that even when all the shit hits the fan, life is still good.

I'm a little overwhelmed right now...going back and forth between annoyed that I have to do 5 online courses in the next couple days, plus another longer version due by April, ALL the additional duties I have at work that keep adding up...and yet I flip back to how wonderful my BF is and how he takes care of me when I can't, how fabulous my friends are and how my life is fuller because of them, and how good life is a whole. I'm here, I'm alive, and Life is Good.

Weird day

Seriously...today was really weird. First I woke up from a strange dream with both of my bosses and something about calendars. Strangeness. Then I missed part of my workout because I didn't time it right. I ate chicken for breakfast. Not the egg...but chicken. That was at 7:15 and I didn't eat anything again until 1:20. Uffda.

I don't know what's going on. I was snarky, bitter and just off...but at the same time I was in a really good mood. The snarkiness and bitterness wasn't physical or even really mental, I just had some major comments coming out of my mouth an dI didn't really know where they came from. It was weird. I don't know what's going on...unless...

Unless it's the fact that my carb intake has been incredibly low the last few days. My calorie intake has been really low too...not horribly so - I've been around 1200 the last few days, but that's from a week or so ago when I was probably around 2000 (or even higher). So it's no wonder I'm weird.

I don't know. One more week and then I can have carbs again - real carbs like bread...oh sweet bread, I long for you this very moment.

Back to the Grind

First, a shout-out to Kat! Hi hon!

Today went pretty well. MS and I got up at 4:15am to do Yoga X (of P90X program). Last night he thought I was kidding when I told him what time we needed to get up, and when I rolled out of bed at 4:15 he really thought I was joking. But he joined me for the 90 minute program and even scrambled me some eggs to take to work for breakfast. My God, I'm lucky to have him. :)

And even though I was up before the crack of dawn, I was really alert today. I got a few things accomplished, then stayed an extra hour to really get things put together. I set up one of my file drawers last week in a better, more organized fashion so I can find stuff easier for the multiple things I have to do. Today I added to it with a final file of Taskers with files for each day of the week. Then I had a blank tasker list created so I could write down what I need to do the next day. Once tomorrow's file was set up (with no more than 7 items) I tabbed the various items and then left it right by my phone for me tomorrow morning. Here's hoping this will work.

Now I'm home and should be making some eggs, but my silicone muffin cups are getting washed in the dishwasher right now, so I'll probably just scramble again in the AM.

I signed up for a class for work yesterday and I'm wondering if it was smart. It's a deep and dry subject, but I know it'll help me in the future (if not sooner). I'm just dreading it a bit. I'll have to get my note paper ready so I can take some serious notes. I have to pass it or I have to start the whole damn thing over from the beginning. It's essential I do well. (Not that I'm competitive with myself or anything).

MS is working again tonight. I miss him. I probably should have worked longer. But the good news is I have to go to bed soon anyway. I'm such an old fart. :)

Last low-key day for awhile

Granted, we're still in the middle of holiday season (MLK Jr day is coming up, then President's Day to end it for a couple months) but today is my last day of low-keyness. Honestly, I'm ready to get back to work. It's been nice being home, but I keep thinking of things I could be doing at the office, the workload that awaits me, and in general just getting out of the house for awhile.

of course, I also know that in a few days I'll be wishing I had a day off again. :) And since I have to work this coming weekend, that will be evermore true.

But today has been nice. I got the oil changed in Morty, picked up some milk, and have been relaxing with MS. He's studying for a class he has this week for work, so I've been lounging on the couch, reading a bit, playing on the computer, signing up for a class of my own for work, and vegging. We're not talking a whole lot, but it's nice to know that he's here. That perks up my attitude immensely. Yesterday was rough, and I'm sure coupled with a poor diet yesterday and being incredibly sore from the beginnings of P90X, it all magnified in the fact I didn't get to see my boy all day. I've gotten used to him being around, you know? And I like that. We don't have to talk. We don't have to be right by each other, but in the same room, just doing our thing has been really nice today.

It's getting close to time to make dinner - Chicken with bruchetta topping which he loves and I can eat - and we'll see how long he's going to study. I still need to burn two discs, and then I can move on with my life. hahaha Tomorrow morning's another early one with a 90-minute yoga set for P90X and I have to be at work, ready to go by 6:45. Uffda. I may have to try what I've been meaning to do for a long time and do the yoga, then drive to work and go into the gym to do a few situps/pushups, then shower. Then I can be at work at 7:15 instead. That MIGHT work...I've struggled with that in the past. Maybe tomorrow is time to renew it.

Sucked in

Okay, so somehow I ended up watching David Tutera on My Fair Wedding (WeTV) and then Rich Bride Poor Bride. I've never understood the concept of "theme" weddings like David has on his show. One bride had a Greek theme, another BLING. It's just odd. So if MS and I get married should we have a popcorn and ice cream theme? Or military theme for his Navy years? Or a cleanliness theme - everyone gets a dust broom as a wedding favor... ha!

And this bride on RBPB is just pissing me off. She is being such a bitch and so rude to her wedding planner. She wants glam, but she doesn't have the budget for it, but she doesn't believe in the budget side of it.

All the more, watching this that is, I just don't get it. Maybe MS's thought of shorts and a lightweight shirt is a good idea. I don't know. Of course, that's a LONG ways off since I haven't met MS's friends all yet. :)

It's...the Blob!!!

I feel pathetic! Yes, I did Cardio X this morning, but since then I've been half-assing the day. I have laundry in, I shoveled off the deck, and I've worked a bit on those things-that-shall-not-be-named, both upstairs and downstairs; but I feel like a total blob today.

I'm not sure if it's because I don't feel like I've accomplished much. MS is always good when he's home at getting things done. This has been my 4-day, like he has, and he's so much better at being productive than I am. That worries me. What's wrong with me?

Starting off right

After a nice, lazy morning, MS and I went to the dreaded basement to sort through some of our boxes. He has boxes from when he moved in to the house in '08 and I have all of mine. Those things-that-shall-not-be-named weren't too bad. Mostly I tried to sort out what was in what, so I could get all my CDs (oodles!) in one area, books in another, kitchen stuff, and miscellaneous crap (of which I have a lot), so that when I am really motivated, I can actually go through those ttsnbn's and be more successful.

MS needs to sort some of his stuff too. He has a goodly amount of stuff of his own and his dad's to sort through. Once we get the shop built we'll be able to put more of our official storage stuff out there, and have less in the basement for when we finish that.

That was one of the fun parts this afternoon - we talked through designs for the basement and how to set up the main room and bedrooms. It was neat to pull out the blueprints and talk out his vision and mine and see if we can make them mesh. He has some great ideas for down there and I'm excited to see how they turn out. I love that he's open to my suggestions too, and that he has been willing to alter some of his original plans to fit some things I would like. Love, baby...it's real. :)

So now, I'm watching the Rose Bowl. I'm not a big college football fan, nor football in general - though I do enjoy a good game from time to time. I'm just not an avid watcher. But TCU (Go Horned Frogs, Go TCU!) is playing Wisconsin (go bucky) and so I feel slightly compelled to watch. If nothing else, it gives me a little fodder to talk about at work, or with E&K at least. MS is out snowblowing the driveway from the mess we had yesterday. I haven't learned how to run the blower yet, so it kind of falls on him. I feel bad about it. I'll learn soon.

MS and I also started P90X today...part of our goal to drop some weight and get back into decent shape. To quote a friend of mine from high school, "We want to be hot for each other." And I've been on SoBe again, which has been going pretty well. I'm feeling pretty good and not overindulging in sugar-free candy. I did have a fudgepop (no sugar added) last night, which was good. So I'm still getting my chocolate fix, if need be.

You know, this has been a really great start to the new year. I'm excited about 2011. It's going to be good, I can feel it. :)

Ending 2010

2010 has been an incredible year - full of changes and surprises. But for fun, here's a recap from the year:

January - MS and I went to Hawaii for a work trip for me and a vacation for MS. It was my first time there, but MS had been stationed there when he was in the Navy, so he became my tour guide. Once I got over my workaholic-ness, I was able to relax and enjoy the area. My favorite was Bellows Beach. LOVED that place and really want to go back.

February - MS and I started P90X to try to lose the weight after Hawaii. For 4 weeks we were very dedicated. It was great!

March - I ran the Irishman again and then did a speed drive two and half hours away to receive an award for work. I literally walked in 3 minutes before the banquet began. Pretty fun.

April - OOB came home to visit which was great. MS and I hosted our first Easter dinner for OOB, and the mom's. It all turned out well, I think. MS and I celebrated our 1st anniversary and I was back running on a regular basis.

May - This was a full month! KC and I hosted our first soon-to-be-annual spring party at work and it turned out great. MS and I took our last trip to Sconnie to see Nika before they moved. I picked up a cold or something that MS had picked up right before we had gone to Sconnie which made for a rough Half Marathon a week later. I was sick for two more weeks which was awful. MS and I took in the free fishing weekend and went to a couple different places. We also started our garden, a massive undertaking, but with what we hoped would be fruitful rewards.

June and July are kind of a blur...not a lot happened...just a lot of work and stuff. OH wait...HHS was in June which is why I was going slowly insane the months leading up to it. July was recovery month.

August - This was a good month. I was selected to go to a training for work, which was great. MS reminded me several times how wonderful he is and how lucky I am to have him in my life.

September - This was canning month. We had a bunch of stuff from the garden just sitting around so we met up with MS's aunt and uncle and had a day of canning salsa. We also made two apple pies using my crust recipe from memory. They turned out really well. This was also my last month before TCM. I ran the SF Half, which was rough, but I made it.

October - TCM number 4. Thank God for MS. He biked along side me the last 20 miles. Yes, I said 20 miles. He was so wonderful. He kept me moving. He supported me every step. So much love!

November - I moved in with MS! This was good on so many levels. We're moving forward in our relationship, I get to spend all my extra time with him, and I'm living in ONE place! Sanity is mine! :) We've had some growing pains, but it's been great. He had to work on Thanksgiving Day so we celebrated with my fam the next day at YOB's.

December - Christmas month! B-day month for MS! I also had an impromptu trip to Mississippi for a week. MS's mom had a mini stroke so he spent that week in the hospital with her helping her do her physical therapy and get better. MS spoiled me at Christmas again. And now it's New Years Eve and MS is working so I'm cleaning the house.

It's been a full year and I'm really looking forward to 2011. It'll be great!

Christmas!

I don't have many pictures, and some are on MS's camera so I'll have to post those later. Christmas yesterday was nice, though confusing at times. Long story on that.

MS and I had a great Christmas together. We took turns opening gifts, had some pizza and curled up on the couch, falling asleep for a mini nap. Then we went over to his mom's so she could open her gift and hung out with her while her live-in boyfriend went to his family's house. Then back home for more pizza (we're cleaning out our freezer) and then sleep. Low-key but fun day.

MS got me some awesome gifts: A Boyd's Bears "Sweetie Pie" figurine, a jewelry box with my name engraved, necklace, earrings, pajama pants, stuff for my car, a 4-cup liquid measuring cup, dry measuring cups and utensils, a food processor, and a Kettleball set.

I got MS the Clint Eastwood 35 films in 35 years set, two other DVDs with Clint westerns from other production companies, 100ft measuring tape, a bunch of tool stuff he picked out, Cool Feet for his computer, winning lottery tickets (I hope they're winning ones), and some Home Depot gift cards. And then I got us both a gardening chair and tool bag to use next summer. He's spoiled. ;) But he spoils me, so it's a fair trade.

Nika got us a beautiful picture frame for her adorable photos, with her named engraved on it. I swapped out her photos from my old frame to the one she sent last night. I love it! Thanks, Nika! :)

Life is good. As my niece Ava kept reminding us today, "Christmas is about giving!" And it is. I had fun giving what I did to MS. And I think he had fun giving me what he did. I'm a very lucky girl to have him in my life.

Jesus is coming!

And to be the sick individual I am I'm going to add, so to speak, just to be me.

But Jesus is coming and I'm very excited for that. It's MS and my first Christmas living together. It's been a challenge to buy and wrap gifts without each other knowing...well, especially for me since he has more time off during December than I do.

His mom is home now. She went home tonight which is good. It's amazing how much better she has gotten in just the last week with therapy every day throughout the day. I hope she continues to do it at home. She's opting not to have a nurse come in each day, mostly because of cost, but also saying she has a bike and stuff she can do at home. I'm praying she does it, because the stronger she gets and the more she continues her therapy the longer she can stay at home, which is where she wants to be.

Work has been annoying the last couple days, with me coming home and letting go of some steam to MS. He's had a rough few days with his Mom's stuff and her live-in S.O. Last night we had his friends over for dinner and to fix his computer. We ended up playing a board game, "You Might Be a Redneck if..." (Yes, we play these games in this state.) I had to laugh as I won the game and I'm probably the least Redneck of the 4 of us. :) Oh well.

It was funny, though. MS and I had been chatting on the phone while driving home (separate cars, but arriving at almost the same time) and at one point, mid-vent, he started laughing and said, "We're having a drink when we get home tonight." I laughed and said, "Oh yes, we are!" But then when Alison and Mike came over, they only wanted Diet Mt Dew, but I said, "Do I still get my drink?" MS said, Hell yeah, and so probably the first time ever, MS and I were drinking while Mike & Alison weren't. :)

Today was our work Christmas party. We've been having a cribbage tournament the last couple of weeks. I've become a legend by holding up the game for a week since I was gone last week. And then Monday, the guy I was supposed to play had to go home to take care of his kid. So yesterday I played 3 games in 2 hours and won 2, lost 1. Now I'm in the loser's bracket but it's double elimination. The second guy I beat, I actually Skunked. I heard from a few people that he was walking around with his head held in shame. One person told me, "I didn't know she knew how to play! I thought it was going to be an easy win!" Ha Ha! But then today I had to play the first guy I had beat, and I beat him again, almost Skunking him, but I let him get one more point to save face. But the tournament continues...the next guy I have to play had left for the day so it'll have to be next week. Should be fun.

And now, I'm sitting trying to regroup, but ready for bed. MS is working but tomorrow we're going to spend all day together, running last minute errands and just taking some time for us. Most of life has been swamped with work and his Mom, as of late, so having a day just to ourselves will be nice.

And Jesus is coming soon, and there's nothing more I'm thankful for. God bless you all. :)

Wow!

I can't believe it's already December 18. The month has flown by and I have no idea where it went.

The month started out great with a "Leadership Challenge Course". It was great. We had completed a series of personal assessments (like Myers Briggs, etc.) prior to the course so we received a bunch of results back. They were extremely interesting. I learned a lot about myself; I only wish we could have had my bosses take them too, so I could understand them better.

Then it was our work weekend and KC and I put together a Christmas Party for our sections. It turned out to be a good time, though I was exhausted afterword. We also had a Kids' Christmas party. KC had created this theme too...Christmas Around the World. We had tables with different countries represented where the kids and parents could go around and learn about their customs. We also had Santa show up and had our pictures taken. Mine and MS's didn't turn out all that great, or I'd post it here. Well, I might post it later. We'll see how the month goes. :)

The next week was a blur...lots of work and trying to get things ready for me being gone this week. MS had his birthday too, but sadly I ended up working more that day than I wanted. So his birthday ended up pretty quiet. I had already got him his gift back at the end of September - he wanted a scope for his rifle. So he got that for b-day and Xmas, which is fine since this month has been crazy, though some of the fun was gone for his day.

Last Saturday we had snow...and wind...and a mini-blizzard, so we were pretty much trapped at home. This was okay by me. I got to finally finish my project while MS worked on some of his own projects. I was so very thankful to have it finished. What a pain. I will NOT be doing that again next year.

Sunday was a little scary. MS's Mom had a mini stroke so we spent the day at the hospital with her. She's actually still there because she was really weak so she's been going through physical therapy to get stronger. Hopefully she'll be going home before Christmas. MS has been spending his afternoons with her helping her with her PT. Luckily, he's had extra time off this week.

But then I had to pack and get ready for my trip. I went to Mississippi for a training for work this week. It was good, though it was more of a training-the-trainer course so I can train the people I work with on what I learned.

And now I'm home. KC and I made peanut brittle and some more vanilla today. We're too efficient though. It took a lot less time than we thought and we couldn't figure out a good third project so she went back home. So I'm just waiting for MS to come home from the hospital while I watch Psych from this week.

Life is good, you know? I'm pretty blessed.

Learning to be a leader

My bosses signed me up for a Leadership Challenge Program that's in town this week. It's a 2 1/2 day seminar and it started at noon today. It's already amazing! I've learned a few things, or maybe was reminded of things, today in the first 4 hours. It's great.

Of course, it also makes me wonder if I am cut out to be a leader. I've had people telling me I need to put in for a big promotion that would put me in the higher roles at work. I'm hesitant for a lot of reasons...but that's immaterial right now.

See, Psych is on so I can't focus. :) I'll write more tomorrow. I'm sure I'll have more to say about the seminar, too.

Procrastination coming back to bite me in the ass

Since 2007 I have been participating as "photographer" for one of our kid camps we hold for work. Our employees and other employees around the state can send their kids to this camp for a week to learn and have fun and blah blah blah.

Well, this year there were two camps...one for 10-13 year olds and another for the older teens. I was excited to do this again because it gives me an opportunity to play with my camera and experiment with my limited photo skills.

Normally, there is an intern who helps with the photos and with putting the newsletter/yearbook together that gets sent to the kids. Well, this year, due to budget cuts, there was no intern so it all fell on me.

This wouldn't be a big deal except my time after the camps is busier than snot with my real job. And add on it my personal life of prepping for races and moving in with MS and vacations to see awesome people...and time has quickly passed and the yearbooks are not done.

I finally got a deadline from the head of the department last week...but sadly it's for next Friday. I have a conference Wed-Fri so those days are out. Which basically left this past weekend. As of right now, I have half of one done. Uffda. I have a lot of work to do today and I'm struggling. ugh.

A thanksgiving kind of day

It's Thanksgiving and MS is working. I hate days like this. We did both have yesterday off so we enjoyed spending the afternoon together. My former 1st cousin died last Sunday and his funeral was yesterday.* So we spent the afternoon watching movies and flipping channels on our extended cable (which I'm discovering is good and bad). I hate winter and the cold and wind and ice, but, as MS pointed out, it is good because then when we're both home we get to spend that time together instead of outside doing projects or yard work or stuff that has us "together" but apart.

Well, since he had to work and Mom is at her boyfriend's family (which, even after 16 years, sounds weird) and the rest of the siblings had things going on, we're having Thanksgiving tomorrow at YOB's. I offered to bring the pie, shocker, and so I made two pumpkin pies with a special recipe that I found online a couple years ago.

I have also been wanting to learn how to make bread. I learned eons ago back in Home Ec with the infamous Mrs. Wiese, but my attempts have always failed. So I thought I'd try again today since I had the time. They didn't turn out too bad, but I think I need to keep practicing, since practice makes perfect. My hope is that someday I'll get bread figured out well enough that it can become a staple - where I make it instead of us buying it. (healthier)

So it's been a pretty quiet day. Very cold and windy again outside, so I'm glad I stayed in. The rest of the weekend is supposed to be warmer so I'm hoping I can suck it up enough to get a run or two in. We need to decorate for Christmas yet, too. Maybe Sunday. :)

*Doug was my first cousin, Lorna's, husband. They had two kids around my age, so I kind of went to the funeral for them. Though he and Lorna divorced in the 80's I always liked Doug. He was a good man. He will be missed.

Not sure where to begin...again

Finnegan, begin again...

Have you ever had that problem where you've stopped doing something because other things got in the way but when you get to the point where you need to restart the thing you had stopped that you don't know how to start again?

So I ran the TC marathon in early October. I took some time off to recuperate, mostly because I hadn't trained well enough so I was a hurting unit. Then I decided that since I was going to move in with MS that maybe packing and moving boxes would be a good thing to do. So every extra moment was spent doing that which took me to the beginning of November.

Then I had nine days in a row of work which were intense and sucky, though good. So with all the extra time with work, running took a backseat. Then MS and I took a vacation, which was much needed, but despite the nice weather in Texas, I didn't run there either.

Now we're back and it's been a few days of recuperating from vacation. So now I need to get back running and working out. And I'm not sure how to start or where to begin. I had thought about pulling out the tights today to get a run in, but MS said the roads were slick from ice and to stay home. Of course, I'm supposed to meet up with Bridget to give her some bars for her PTO meeting tomorrow...but we'll see. I'm, wrongly, hoping the roads are a bit icy so she'll say no to me having to meet up with her, but I also hope they're okay so I can get rid of these bars. :)

But how do I start up again? It's cold out, so running is not a simple thing these days - you have to plan and dress and coordinate so you don't freeze your butt off or any appendages for that matter. It's not as simple as lacing up your shoes and stepping out the door.

I know, I know...I'm making excuses. I could run on the damned treadmill, but I hate the treadmill. But maybe that's what I have to do to do something. I do want to start the 100 pushups challenge and 200 situps challenge. MS wants to start up P90X again, but that's an early morning or late night. I don't know what to do...

For now, since I haven't done a damn thing this weekend (we got full cable at the house, so now I have my TBS and TNT back...good but bad) I need to get my getting-fatter-by-the-minute ass off the couch and clean the house.

The stars at night are big and bright

MS and I finally got a real vacation in this year. Well, he'd say we've had two since we went to Hawaii in January and did take a long weekend to see K&E back in May. But for me, this was finally a real one - it wasn't work related and it wasn't just a weekend, though it was a weekend. Anyway...

We headed down to Texas on Friday. K&E had moved there for new jobs and school, so this was our first trip to their new digs. We had talked about flying but because of the cost we opted to drive. Plus, MS has some Navy friends who live in OK so we were able to stop and see them too. It was a long drive though.

Friday night we had dinner with MS's friends at an Irish pub. The food wasn't that great but the fellowship was awesome. We met up with Brian and Belinda and their daughter and Mike and Kathy. 4 hours later we were able to head the rest of the way to K&E, getting us in around 1am.

Saturday E and his brother had a "thing" they had to do, so we and K took Nika to the park to play. I'm not sure who had more fun, Nika or MS. He had a lot of trouble this weekend getting "stuck" but Nika was quick to help out.

Saturday afternoon we went to the TCU vs SDSU game. It was the last home game for them before they made some major updates to the stadium. We got to go to a tailgate where we sampled some delicious chips that we need to find now. :) The game was a little stressful as TCU wasn't quite with it, but it still was a good time. K took a nice picture of Nika, MS and me (see bottom photo).

Sunday we went to an awesome restaurant called Gloria's. That was the best Salvadorian food I have ever had. I had the Pollo Asado Combinado so I could try plantains and yucca for the first time...not bad. It also had Mexican food so Mike had a big plate of yumminess as well. And it was just the right amount. I didn't feel overly full like I sometimes do, especially after having chips and salsa. Mmmmm

"Hey, Nika, pull my finger!"

Monday MS and I went to the Dallas Holocaust Museum. It was kind of on a whim because our original intention was to go to the Sixth Floor Museum, but as we were waiting for it to open we walked around a square and saw a sign for the Holocaust Museum. We, being the great planners we are, thought we'd do that first and then do the other one before we had to head back. Well, after 2 1/2 hours at the HM we realized we wouldn't have time for both, but the time was well spent. That was an incredible museum and we probably could have spent the entire afternoon there. So the Sixth Floor will have to wait until the next trip. We did see the Grassy Noll though, so I guess that's something. :)

After we got back I took some family pics of K&E and Nika so K can write their All Saint's letter. :) Then we went to Joe T Garcia's which, again and not surprising, had great food. I ate way too much here but it was so yummy. And the atmosphere! WOW! The building is a block long with a lot of outdoor/patio seating with fountains and heaters. It was great.

Of course we were sad to leave Tuesday AM but it was necessary. We had thrown Nika's life pattern out of loop for too long (not to mention K&E's as well). So Tuesday, after surviving rush hour traffic with an hour back up because of a multi-car accident, we drove back to OK to meet up with Brian and Mike again. Mike wanted to show us his place and I was in love. The pantry alone was almost enough to make me ask if he'd adopt me. It was huge! With a sliding door! And oodles of shelf space!! Then I saw the kitchen! *sigh* They're basement was incredible and gave MS and I a few ideas for our place too. It was fun to hang out with the military boys even though half the time they were using Navy-speak so I didn't quite understand what they were saying. It was fun though.

I can't wait to go back to visit them again and add in Ernie next time. We'll have to plan better. :)

A sincere thank you

To all the military men and women who paved the way for those who serve to protect our freedoms today. God bless you all.

Veteran's Day Mash Up

For a holiday I did a lot. :) Normally my holidays are days to curl up and watch movies or something.

Instead, I got my comforter dry cleaned, caught up with some billing paperwork with my dentist, went to work and got a few last minute things completed, had lunch with Bridget, got a new haircut ("I have bangs! My hair is so now."), shopped at VS, checked out some new pillows and priced out the better ones to pick up next week, went to Target and survived, picked up a new tire gauge, bought popcorn (mmm...Poppy's), had supper with Mom, picked up some groceries (forgetting the sugar...again!), and fueled up Morty. THEN I got home and put the comforter in the aired out duvet and put it on the guest room bed, did a load of laundry and now, once TBBT is over, I will be getting ready to go see the Nikanator.

I'm tired. Now I need popcorn. But a few more chores to be done first...

Lack of writing

My life has been a mess lately! Well, not a mess, but a lot of work. Today starts a nice vacation which is greatly needed. Of course it's Veteran's Day, which is why I have today off. I'll take it. :)

So today, I thank and honor all those who have come before us...those men and women who stepped up to defend our country to keep us free and safe...those men and women who continue to serve in a time where the military isn't always appreciated as they used to be.

Thank you, to a few: Kevin, Morris, Sam, Arnie, Elroy, Hans, Lane, Ron, Wayne, Eric, Sallie, Casey, Di, Ruth, Matt, Russ, Reid, Dean, RJ, Tom, Kristin, Bridget, Leroy, Joey, Jon, Brian, and so many more...

Well, that's a total fail

So this month has already been crazy enough that I didn't succeed at NaBloPoMo. Silly me. Friday and Saturday were nuts though. This week has kicked my ass. I have been in bed and asleep before nine all week! I don't know what's going on ... if it's the weather getting colder, my job kicking my butt, or what. I just know, I have been tired.

Today is a short day at work at least. So I'm going to go to the grocery store to pick up "supplies" and then head home and have some baking therapy time. MS is working so it's just me tonight, which is good. I need a little me time. :) Not that I don't love having MS around, because I do, but it is nice to have some time just to myself. He gets his man cave...I get some nights to myself. :)

Maybe 50 feet

I think other than going to lunch with my awesome sweetie today, I went maybe 50 feet from my office door...and that was only to go to the bathroom. Otherwise I was chained to my desk all day long trying to do all the paperwork and get caught up from the last two days of meetings and fun.

My sweetie has been wonderful these last few days, very supportive, having dinner ready for us when I get home, and taking care of me. He even made me tea to drink on the way into work this morning "to warm me up and keep me from getting sick". He's so wonderful and some days I really don't feel like I deserve his goodness, but I'm very thankful for it and feel very blessed. Love you, honey!

And since I'm typing this with his head on my shoulder, I'm going to keep this short so I can spend some quality time with him before I have to go to sleep. :)

Meeting Wednesday

I hate Wednesdays. They used to be awesome when I worked at LS and the chapel service would have communion and the awesome sacristan's would bring me the leftover bread and wine for me to partake in the Eucharist and finish off the extras. :)

But now, Wednesday's = meetings. And it's not just one. It's 4. In a row. That go on and on. By 11:30 this morning I was cranky, hungry and crabby. But even the afternoon with no meetings is spent catching up...checking and answering the 9 voice messages, numerous emails and trying to finish the projects that need to be completed. It's frustrating.

These are the nights that I like to work late, but these are also the nights that I just want to go home. It doesn't help when the two people that just rub me the wrong way both came into my office at 4:30. I know they both mean well, but one is just high maintenance and the other is NOT clear in what she asks so when I try to explain to her she gets upset, answers back what she asked, which is incorrect, and then I have to explain it again. This goes round and round until I backtrack on what she asked, clarify what she actually has in her head that she's not saying but I'm finally figuring out, and then she can leave. Ugh.

I have 30 minutes til I can leave, but I don't know that I should. I have so much to get done and this mini-break of writing is a much needed release. Hopefully the next 30 minutes will be very productive. Crossing fingers!!!

Closed Door

There are few rules in my office, which would make sense if you see the normal state of frazzledness that it embarks. But one of the most crucial ones is this: "It's not about you."

Yeah, it makes no sense, but let me 'splain. My office shares a door with my boss. Often people will go in to chat with him about very important and private matters. So they shut the door. For the first few months of my probationary period I would get very nervous. Did I do something wrong? What did I do? Crap, what's going to happen now? And so on...yes, I had a touch of paranoia.

Well, I have trained almost everyone now that when they close the adjoining door to lean in and say, "It's not about you." This works well. I can breathe a sigh of relief and they get to chuckle at it. :) Because honestly, it's rarely if ever about me. I'm a peon and not important to waste breath on. Plus if it WAS about me, they'd be pulling me in to the office too.

So today when Boss2 is meeting with a colleague and suddenly they shut the door, I get a little concerned. His door doesn't really fall under the "rules of the house" but it would have been nice. Especially since it wouldn't surprise me if they were talking about me. So my paranoia went up a bit. And especially when just before the door was shut my colleague stepped out and asked me which leadership program I'm attending next month and right after I answered, the door shut.

I hate this feeling. I know I shouldn't worry about it, but I do. It's just one of those things, I guess. I like them both and enjoy working with them, but when I'm not in the loop I get worried.

It is finished!

Finally! The apartment is empty, save the vacuum and a few little things. MS wants to steam clean the carpets this week so I'm leaving that stuff until later.

After we finished up the crap at the apartment, MS and I went to Despicable Me. I was so excited to finally see this movie. It wasn't Toy Story 3 caliber, but it was freaking funny. "It's so fuzzy!"

So today starts NaNoWriMo, which I am thinking I'm going to attempt this year. We'll see. If I can keep up with this writing, I should be able to do that too, though the plot thing might be a little rough. We'll see.

But NaBloPoMo has begun as well, and here it is, my first post. On to the next!